


Looking For Raid

by Polkadotdotdot



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Ben ain't mean, Devoted Reylo, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, HEA, He's just shy, MMO, More tags to follow, Online Friends, Online Gaming, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, Virgin Ben Solo, Virginity, Workplace Rivals, reylo smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:18:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 49,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polkadotdotdot/pseuds/Polkadotdotdot
Summary: Kyl0R3n is a Cyborg tank. Lightbeam is a Monk healer. Almost every night they chat together, raid together and occasionally hit the battlegrounds of the internationally popular MMOStar RepublicBen Solo is an architect. Rey Jackson is a structural engineer. Both work together at New Order Construction and can be seen frequently at each others throats.If only they knew..."Anyone could be anyone behind a screen and keyboard..."





	1. Player versus Player

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and greetings from NYC!
> 
> This is the second new WIP for 2019, also based on gaming but in a slightly different, _You've got mail_ kind of way! I started writing this on the plane and since I'm wide away with a touch of the ol' jetlag I decided just to post it. The game Star Republic is going to be based basically on Warcraft...a game I lost years of my young adult life to.
> 
> Enjoy!

[](https://imgur.com/nGnC53U)

The obnoxious buzzing of her alarm cut through her sleep addled brain like a buzz saw.

Rey lifted her face from her pillow, lying diagonally across the empty bed, the covers twisted and tangled around her legs. She glared at her phone, rumbling against the nightstand. She reached out to grab the device.

“Urgh, shut up!” she growled, turning off the alarm. Outside her apartment window, she could hear the sounds of Brooklyn, already awake and buzzing before she was. It didn’t surprise her, she’d smashed the snooze button three times already and clearly, her phone was sick of it.

It had been another late one the night before.

She hadn’t been out, not in the traditional sense, but she had been social. Drinking wasn’t involved but her head pounded and the empty cans of Monster energy that littered her computer desk were evidence enough. She shuffled through to her computer, booting up discord to see there was already a notification waiting for her.

_< Kyl0R3n> Didn’t see you log off last night. Did you crash out?_

Rey smiled widely at the name, rapidly typing her response.

_< Lightbeam> I had to, I have work this morning and it was almost 2 am. Sorry I didn’t say though!_

_< Kyl0R3n> No worries, just wondered where you ran off to. I was pretty beat myself, stayed up until 3 am and the damn raid wasn’t even worth it :( _

_< Lightbeam> That sucks hard. I have to run or I’ll totally be late. Are you raiding tonight? Or maybe some PvP?_

_< Kyl0R3n> I’ll be here :) _

The corner of her screen flashed 8 am. Rey sighed making her way towards her bathroom to wash as quickly as possible. She wasn’t lying when she’d told her friend she was going to be late.

Kyl0R3n wasn’t her friend per se. Well, they were but she’d never actually met them in person. She didn’t even know their real name. From the looks of their online handle and the way they spoke, she guessed they were male, but it was a stab in the dark. Anyone could be anyone behind a screen and keyboard.

It had been for that reason she’d first started playing Star Republic, the renowned massive online multiplayer set in a far away, fictional galaxy. Rey had always loved video games, her best friend Finn worked at the world famous Barcade in Brooklyn, and it had been his suggestion that she gave it a try.

“It’s awesome! You pick a faction, create a character and a class. You can just do quests by yourself, wander around the worlds or you can join raids to get better gear!” he gushed enthusiastically, showing Rey his own Soldier based character on his laptop across the bar.

“What’s a raid?” Rey asked, poking at the screen to investigate further.

“Well, you get dungeons that have tougher enemies and they need a group of 5 to get through them generally. Raids are bigger, massive dungeons that need 10 to 25 people. It’s all about playing together and helping each other. The rewards are worth it,”

100 levels later and that was how she’d met Kyl0R3n. After a particularly long raid, he’d sent her a DM to compliment the healing skills of her Monk. In turn, she’d told him his Cyborg was the best tank she’d worked with in a long time and a friendship was struck.

She’d told herself she wouldn’t get sucked in, that she’d just make her character and run around the pretty worlds to unwind after her hellish days at the office. Oh, how hellish they were.

She worked for New Order construction, having gained a job straight out of college as a trainee structural engineer. Over the years she’d worked her way up in the company, gaining the respect of her peers.

Except for one. Ben _fucking_ Solo.

His arrogance was only surpassed by his persistent foul temper. From the moment she’d began he’d treated her with nothing but contempt, correcting her work and barely looking her in the eye when she spoke to him. He was a talented architect, there was no denying his designs were brilliant, but walking around the office with a scowl permanently on his face was not the way to make friends.

Considering how handsome he was, Rey considered it a wasteful crime.

Her next 30 minutes were spent rushing around her apartment, drying her hair while picking her clothes, struggling to pull up the zipper of her navy knee length dress. In the end, she surrendered, accepting that her hair wasn’t going to cooperate, throwing the brunette locks back in a bun. Her head was still pounding, and she was in desperate need of caffeine.

At 8:45 am, Rey left her apartment.

00000

New Order construction’s offices were only in Lower Manhattan. It was hardly a journey for the ages but the way her head felt with lack of sleep and sugar withdrawal made Rey feel like she’d been on the subway forever.

She was late. It wasn’t the first time she’d stayed up playing that game, no doubt it wouldn’t be the last. Quietly she walked out of the elevator onto her floor, casually making her way to her desk as if nothing was amiss.

Only to find Ben Solo standing by her computer.

“You’re late,” he snapped. Rey winced, slowly taking off her coat to hang over the back of her chair.

“Sorry, the train was delayed,” she muttered her excuse. Ben raised an eyebrow, his dark eyes falling on the large Starbucks cup.

“The train was delayed but you still gave yourself time to get coffee on the way?” he questioned. Rey scowled. Her lack of quality rest and rumbling stomach meant she was in no mood for Ben Solo and his difficult personality.

“Can I help you?” She asked haughtily, sitting herself down and booting up her work PC.

“As a matter of fact, you can,” he replied, “I need you to run the numbers on the Williamsburg proposal,”

“I already ran the numbers. The calculations were handed to you last week,” Rey explained.

“They were wrong. I need you to do them again,”

“Like hell they were!” Rey snapped, “I spent days running those numbers. I know they were correct!”

“I’m telling you they’re not!” Ben shot back, a deep scowl pulling his brows together, “Just…get it done!”

There was no room for a reply. Before Rey could even conjure a sentence, he had stalked away from her desk, leaving her to stare daggers at his back. She grabbed her coffee cup, swigging back the dark roast and savoring the bitter taste.

Tapping on the keyboard, she pulled up the calculations he’d asked for. She was certain that her work was correct but for the sake of peace, she’d run them again. She was good at her job, not exceptional, but solid. Her work was of a higher standard than most but while she enjoyed what she did, a model employee she was not.

After an hour and a half of mind-numbing measurements and equations, her phone buzzed. A smile tugged at her lips seeing the notification on the Discord app.

_< Kyl0R3n> I stg work is going to be the death of me. How’s your morning?_

_< Lightbeam> MOOD! Not great. Asshole co-workers, extra workload…the usual. Roll on 5 pm right?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Boss still acting like a dick?_

_< Lightbeam> Not my boss really. They’ve just been here longer than I have._

She wanted to tell him everything, to rant and rave with every single detail but the internet was a vast, black hole of a place and while she felt comfortable talking to her online friend, there was some information like names and places she didn’t feel safe disclosing. The last thing she needed was to become another crime statistic.

_< Kyl0R3n> Ah, the old superiority complex! Ppl I work with just dgaf and I have to pick up after them. Just makes my job harder!_

_< Lightbeam> I’m sorry :( I know how much that sucks._

_< Kyl0R3n> It’s okay. We can suffer together right? :P _

Rey giggled at her phone, placing it on the table to continue her work. They’d been talking and playing together since level 70 of the game, months of chatting and killing time in a fantasy world. Seeing his handle announced as online made her smile, his silly avatar running around hers made her laugh. Once, she’d bravely asked if he’d join her in voice chat, but a broken headset had scarpered their plans.

He was her boredom killer, her faceless venting space, her confidant and it saddened her that she didn’t know more. Maybe there was a way to change that. They were friends, right?

The caffeine finally kicking in made Rey feel more like herself, the haze of exhaustion lifting as she focused on the maths in front of her. Her hands hovered above her keyboard, her eyes widening at the numbers.

_Shit…_

Ben was right. She _had_ made a mistake. A mistake which meant the insufferable bastard was completely correct in his vexation. She was going to have to suck it up and face him. Rey groaned, leaning back and swinging in her chair, rubbing the heel of her hands into her stinging eyes.

She was never going to live this down.

00000

Ben grunted, throwing himself down in his office chair.

The fact he had his own private office was something of a miracle, having wrestled it from the grasp of Armitage Hux by citing that since he’d been there longer, he was slightly senior and therefore needed the space. While that was true, really, he just wanted the peace.

He’d never been a social person. As a kid, he’d always felt gawky and inelegant, awkward in his own skin with long limbs, large ears and angular features that he hadn’t grown into. Even as he aged, growing accustomed to his size, he still felt no better about interacting with people.

Small talk didn’t interest him. Who cared about the weather or what happened on Dancing with the Stars when you could discuss books, the state of the world or science? He liked to know what made people tick but found that most people didn’t feel the same way.

So he began to play.

Even hidden online, Ben had been just as antisocial, content to quest and wander on his own and occasionally join the raid queue. Then on a night that was quite unremarkable, he met a remarkable player. This monk, Lightbeam, managed to heal him through unbelievable levels of damage, far more than the avatars gear should have allowed and in the end, he broke his own rule and complimented their playing.

They’d been online friends ever since.

An interaction was easy when he had time to think about his response, time to measure how his words came across. In person, things were more awkward. Standing staring at someone for minutes wasn’t considered polite. He knew what people thought of him, especially in the office. They called him grumpy, difficult, kind of a dick.

The truth was more that he was hampered by an awkward shyness and nobody made it worse more than the brunette who sat across from his office door.

She infuriated him. Rey was naturally talented, and he could see it was for that reason she didn’t try. Frequently she would wander in late, spend too long at the coffee machine catching up with her friend Rose and stare absently out the window from her desk. There were days she’d look exhausted, no doubt from spending time out with her friends or mingling into the small hours of the morning a trendy bars he’d never be seen dead in. She seemed like the type to be around people.

Every time he tried to talk to her, using work as an excuse, it ended up sounding harsh and abrasive. He’d mentally kick himself watching the scowl appear on her face, running as quickly as he could. Anything to get out of the situation his own lack of communication skills had caused.

A knock sounded at his door.

“Come in,”

The door opened, and Rey sheepishly walked inside, a brown file in her hand.

“Hey, have you got a minute?” Ben nodded curtly. Rey walked further into the room, handing him the file.

“So, I ran those numbers again like you asked and…you were right, some of the numbers were wrong,” she admitted reluctantly, “I owe you an apology,”

His eyebrows shot towards his hairline, eyes full of surprise at her admission. For all they’d disagreed over the years, it was the first time Rey had ever apologized without adding ‘but’ to the end of the sentence.

“Well, thank you,” he replied, opening the file to look over the numbers, “It _was_ quite an obvious mistake. I’m amazed you made it in the first place,”

“Alright, I said I was sorry, and I fixed it,” Rey said briskly, “Now if you don’t mind, that’s put me behind for the day. I still have a lot to get on with,”

“You wouldn’t be behind if you’d done it correctly in the first place,” Ben commented, immediately cursing his brain and its lack of ability to self-edit. It was said. The red flag had been waved in front of the bull. Rey frowned.

“Oi, nobody is perfect!” she snapped, “Sometimes people make mistakes!”

“Well this mistake could have cost the company thousands of dollars and possibly even our client,” Ben pointed out, “You’re not the only one who is behind now. I’m having to cover for this too!”

“Such a shame for you here in your nice comfy office,” Rey grumbled, “I’ll leave you to it!”

She turned on her heel, her stilettos resonating sharply on the hardwood floor as she stalked from the room, the door slamming behind her. Ben sighed.

Another successful interaction.

00000

The day had been long.

Rey sat perched at the bar, the flashing lights of the arcade games all around her as Finn cleaned glasses. Her fingers pulled at the beer label, her bottle half empty while her phone sat on the bar next to her.

“Why do you keep staring at that thing?” Finn asked, “Waiting for a booty call?”

“No!” Finn smirked, nodding toward the tattered beer label.

“Well, you’re bottle says otherwise. Come on, peanut, I keep telling you that tinder is the answer!” he insisted. Rey rolled her eyes.

“I do _not_ need tinder!” she drawled.

“Well, you’re never going to meet someone sitting home all night playing that game!” He said, “Honestly, sometimes I wish I’d never shown it to you,”

“You still play it…”

“Not like you! I don’t spend hours a night on it and I don’t waste my whole weekend sitting in my apartment with the shades drawn, not seeing anyone. I’m telling you Rey, that ain’t healthy!” Rey shook her head, necking some of her beer.

“It wasn’t a waste!” she insisted, “We got a lot of battlegrounds done that weekend…got some cool gear for Lightbeam,”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“My character?”

“Rey, I’m begging you…let me set you up with someone?” Finn pleaded, “I know a guy who is really nice, he likes games too and I promise, _promise_ , he’s got a huge dick…”

“FINN!”

“What? That’s important, don’t lie!” Finn laughed, “Seriously, will you at least think about it?”

“Urgh. Fine, I will think about it!” Rey groaned. Her phone buzzed, a giddy smile appearing on her face.

“Oh? Now, what’s that smile, you told me you weren’t waiting for a booty!” Finn cried, trying to grab the phone but Rey snatched it from his grasp.

“It’s just an online friend!” She stressed, “His name is Kylo...I think,”

“That sounds like a fake name…”

“Because it is a fake name,” Rey finished, checking the message.

_< Kyl0R3n> Finally done for the night. Are you around to log on soon?_

_< Lightbeam> I’m just heading home now :) Are we raiding or doing 2v2?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Me, you and some 2v2? Sounds like a date ;)_

Rey grinned widely, hopping from the bar stool and finishing her beer.

“Alright, I have to go!” Rey declared, “Do NOT set anything up with that guy unless I tell you. I mean it, Finn!”

“Fine, fine,” Finn drawled, kissing her on the cheek farewell, “Give my love to all your cats that will inevitably eat your dead body when you die in front of that computer of yours!”

Her apartment only being a block away within ten minutes Rey was back home, tearing off her polished work clothes to throw on her comfy sweats. A can of Monster energy by her side, she booted up her PC, logging in to the game.

_< Kyl0R3n> That was fast!_

_< Lightbeam> I only live a block away from the bar I was at._

_Kyl0R3n is typing…._

The message flashed in front of her, disappearing when he stopped only to reappear again and again. Clearly, he was trying to think of what to say, something Rey noticed happened often.

_< Kyl0R3n> Sorry, I didn’t realize you were out. I hope you didn’t leave on my account? _

Rey smiled at the screen.

_< Lightbeam> I was coming home anyway. I was just visiting my friend who works there, blagging a free beer. No biggie! I’d much rather be playing with you._

Pressing the enter key, the message was sent, her face growing hot as she re-read her words. Maybe he wouldn’t have picked up on the double meaning? If this person even was a he.

_< Lightbeam> Hey, can I ask you something? I’m sorry if it sounds weird._

_< Kyl0R3n> Ask away…_

_< Lightbeam> We’ve been talking and playing together for a while now and I don’t really know anything about you. Are you a guy?_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

Rey chewed at her thumbnail awkwardly, her eyes fixed on the screen. Both their characters had been inactive for so long they had taken to sitting down where they had stood. How hard was it to answer a yes or no question?

_< Kyl0R3n> Yes._

_< Lightbeam> Why did it take you three minutes to answer that?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Because I wasn’t sure you’d want to keep talking to me if I told you the truth…_

There was something sad about his admission, the idea that she’d stop interacting with him simply because of his gender. Flexing her fingers, Rey began to type again.

_< Lightbeam> Why on earth would I do that? I don’t mind that you’re a guy at all. _

_< Kyl0R3n> Girls online aren’t exactly trusting when it comes to guys…in case you hadn’t noticed!_

She supposed he had a point. There were so many stories of unwanted, obscene pictures, of harassment, constant questions, and badgering. It was a risk that you took playing a game where you could pretend to be anyone.

_< Kyl0R3n> I suppose this is now when you tell me you’re male? Not that it’s an issue but I did assume…_

_< Lightbeam> You assumed right. So, Kylo? Is that your real name?_

_< KyloR3n> It’s the name you can call me :)_

Rey frowned but couldn’t argue. If Kylo didn’t want to disclose his real name to her then that was his business. They were words on a screen to one another, he was simply being the sensible one.

_< Lightbeam> Alright, one last question before we get into this 2v2. Where do you come from?_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

_< Kyl0R3n> Originally? Connecticut. I moved to Manhattan a while ago._

He lived in New York. Jumping in excitement, her arm almost scattering a pile of empty soda cans, Rey frantically typed her reply.

_< Lightbeam> Really?! No way! I live in Brooklyn!_

_< Kyl0R3n> Small world. Maybe we’ll meet someday._

Rey grinned at the screen, her stomach fluttering.

_< Lightbeam> Maybe we will :)_


	2. Reality Bytes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Really?! No way! I live in Brooklyn!_
> 
> _Small world. Maybe we’ll meet someday._
> 
> Why the fuck had he said that?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much to those who have read this so far, sorry about the delay in updating. I really wanted to finish my ABO Dark Nights and update Heather and Honey too. 
> 
> I'll level with you, for fics I normally have a full outline and plan. This one, not so much. I am WINGING IT! Which is scary and weird but let's go with it! :D
> 
> PD3 xx

[](https://imgur.com/VhKlRKM)

It had been a long damn day.

The number fiasco had set him back hours on his own workload, but he’d still pushed through, completing his day and wearily commuting back to his apartment in the East Village. Carelessly, he dropped his shoulder bag on his bed, kicking off his boots and dress pants to change into a pair of comfortable black sweats and a black V-neck tee shirt. He’d had a full day of being Ben Solo the architect. Now he was ready to drop the title and finally relax.

Barefoot, he wandered through to his kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge before making his way to his computer. It was a path well-traveled, the same tradition followed each and every evening. Maybe he should have been doing more to be social, to get himself out there, maybe even meet someone to settle down with. His mother had pressed him enough about that.

Generally, though, he liked his lifestyle. He enjoyed the peace and his own space. The idea of inviting someone to share that was, frankly, terrifying.

His apartment was nothing fancy. A large bedroom, moderate kitchen and living room, small bathroom. Since he’d moved in, decorating hadn’t been high on his agenda. The place was colored with muted greys, blues and ivory, accented with black. Everything had a place, everything had a purpose, but in the corner of the living room stood his pride and joy.

The computer desk was large, taking up the majority of the area with a huge padded gaming chair. The desktop tower sat just behind the widescreen monitor, large speakers on either side. All colored with matte black metal and red lighting, sleek and intricately designed. Most evenings, his flat screen TV hung on the wall cold and lifeless while Ben favored gaming as his pastime.

Gaming was an escape. His muscles would relax as he sunk into his chair, his mind clear as he logged on and a smile would tug at his lips seeing the familiar name appear on the screen.

_< Lightbeam> Really?! No way! I live in Brooklyn!_

_< Kyl0R3n> Small world. Maybe we’ll meet someday._

Why the fuck had he said that?!

His eyes were huge as soon as he’d hit enter, the message popping up in the chat box. His response had been automatic. She was typing and God, he hoped he hadn’t come across too eager. There was a good reason for women to be cautious on the internet, especially in online gaming. He’d only just told her that he was, indeed, male and now he was telling her that they could meet. His heart sunk, an impending feeling that he’d just ruined something.

_< Lightbeam> Maybe we will :)_

If it was possible for eyebrows to disappear into a hairline, Ben was certain they’d have done just that. He blinked at the screen, reaching for his beer and taking a long sip. There was even a smiley face. Surely that was a good thing?

_< Lightbeam> You know, in the future I mean. When I’m sure you’re not some kind of serial killer ;)_

Smart girl. They’d been talking for months but it had never gone beyond the superficial. A woman meeting a total stranger that she’d met online wasn’t the safest idea he’d heard of. His stomach flipped, noticing the second use of an emoji.

_< Kyl0R3n> Definitely not a serial killer. That takes planning. I’m more spontaneous than that ;)_

_< Lightbeam> Lol Well girls are always saying they want more spontaneity! If I’ve to call you Kylo, I guess you can call me Kira._

_< Kyl0R3n> Pretty name. So, where do you work? (I promise I won’t turn up like a stalker!)_

_Lightbeam is typing…_

_Lightbeam is typing…_

Shit. Was it too personal a question? Ben winced watching the letters flashing on the screen.

_< Lightbeam> Hmm. That gives away a little too much just now :) But I’ll tell you that I have a degree in engineering._

Ben nodded to himself, his face impressed. She was an engineer and that was no easy qualification to gain. Clearly, Kira was bright.

_< Lightbeam> How about you? _

_< Kyl0R3n> I’m an architect._

_< Lightbeam> Oh, I’m so sorry…_

Ben frowned, his hands hovering over the keys. What did she mean ‘sorry’?

_< Lightbeam> Urgh. My lame attempt at a joke! I work with architects and most times they aren’t exactly pleasant. You’re probably the nicest architect I’ve ever met!_

He was surprised to feel a strange sense of relief wash over him, stranger still that he had to agree with her for the most part. The majority of architects he knew were a highly strung, arrogant sort and he included himself in that group on occasion.

_< Kyl0R3n> Always happy to break a stereotype ;) Alright, in the spirit of getting to know each other, here’s a more general question. What do you do for fun?_

While it was an honest, simple question, it was one that he regretted asking. It was so vague, so open and if she asked him in return, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to give a compelling answer. His life revolved around work, sitting in the same spot each night and being socially awkward.

_< Lightbeam> Honestly? You’re looking at it! If I’m not working, I come home, and I end up gaming. _

_< Kyl0R3n> I don’t believe that, you’ve mentioned bars before?_

_< Lightbeam> Alright, my friend Finn works for Barcade but I mainly hang out there on occasion for the free beer and the free shots on the machines lol. Other than that, I like to game on my rig, read a lot of books and game some more. _

He could barely believe what he was reading. He was talking to a girl who studied engineering, she played games on an almost obsessive level and loved to read. Part of him wanted to demand a picture, simply for the proof she wasn’t a massive catfish, but a man demanding a photo of a girl online was _not_ the impression he wanted to give. Not until she asked him first.

_< Lightbeam> You?_

Fuck. Ben sighed, draining the last of his beer. There was a certain image that people always thought of when it came to online gamers. ‘Gamer girls’ conjured the image of cute women in thick-rimmed glasses, playing video games in their panties while wearing slogan tee shirts and pigtails. Helped in no small part by Youtubers and porn providing teen boys with the ultimate fantasy. Ben knew it wasn’t true, but that was the first image that came to mind none the less.

Men had the raw deal. Images of nerds in stained shirts, greasy hair, and patchy beards. Of slamming on keyboards and screaming down headsets. It wasn’t nearly as pretty a thought, but honesty was the best policy he supposed.

_< Kyl0R3n> I guess same. I work a lot so other than the gym when I come home, I just want to unwind and play a little. Bars aren’t really my thing tbh._

_< Lightbeam> I hear that!_

The screen shifted to a new location, their waiting time for 2v2 matches over so they could begin. Ben could see their characters primed and ready.

_< Lightbeam> Alright! Serious fight time ;)_

Ben put down his empty beer bottle, grasping his mouse with one hand and hovering his fingers over the movement keys with the other.

00000

3 am.

That was the time Rey had finally fallen into her bed, her eyes stinging with the strain from staring at her computer screen the whole night. It had been worth it for all the points her team with Kylo had gained, moving them further up the player versus player ranks of the game.

“Yeah, cool, I guess, but what do you _actually_ win?” Rose questioned handing Rey her mug filled with black filter coffee, “Like, when the game is over…”

“It’s an MMO, the game is never really over,” Rey corrected, “Just the season. You know, like football?” Rose rolled her eyes.

“Okay, when the season is over, what do you win?” she asked, “Do they send you something? Like a trophy or money?”

“No, you just get to see where you placed. Sometimes you get cool gear for your character though!” Rey explained, trying her best to show her enthusiasm despite her exhaustion. She sipped her coffee, “Please…Gods of caffeine, grant me the strength to make it through this meeting today!”

“Well, it’s your own fault for staying up so late playing that game!” Rose sniggered, “Why can’t you just stay up to 3 am watching Netflix like the rest of us?”

“Netflix doesn’t offer me a conversation,” Rey shrugged. The pair left the staff kitchen, wandering in the direction of the board room.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Your online buddy…what’s his name again? Ken? Keith?”

“Kylo,” Rey corrected, “and yes, he is my online buddy as you call him,”

“You said he lives in New York. Are you going to meet him in real life? Or are you online gamers too afraid of UV rays to leave your apartments on a weekend?” Rey snorted.

“I mean, yeah maybe. I’d like to but I’m going to get to know him a little better,” she said, “You know before I end up another statistic!”

“Fair,” Rose agreed, “God, why do they schedule these meetings so early!” she groaned. Rey followed her into the room, taking a seat next to her at the large round table.

“Because they want to see who’ll actually make it on time,” she smirked, taking a large gulp of her coffee.

Each month, Amilyn Holdo, the managing director of New Order would conduct a staff meeting, forcing the architects and engineers to spend time together in the one room. The idea was that it would encourage a team spirit and bonding. There was only so much bonding that could be done when the architects sat along one side of the table and the engineers along the opposite.

Like clockwork, at 8:59 am, Ben Solo, Armitage Hux, Gwen Phasma and Dopheld Mitaka filtered into the room, taking their seats across from Rose and Rey.

Rey glanced up from her coffee, her eyes naturally falling on Ben. As much as she hated it, he was particularly handsome in his charcoal grey cashmere sweater, paired with coal black jeans and black leather boots. He’d pushed his hair back from his face, his facial hair neatly trimmed. He looked almost as tired as she felt. He avoided her gaze, not even acknowledging that she was sitting directly across from him.

_It really is a shame he’s such an asshole…_

“I see the rest of the engineers haven’t made it on time,” Hux drawled, “Always the same!” From behind them, just as the four sat down, the door opened again, Poe Dameron shoving his way through.

“Yeah, yeah, quit your whining Hux, I could hear you from down the hall!” he grunted, sitting down next to Rey, “Besides, I’m here before Holdo which means I am not late!”

“Makes a change,” Gwen said dryly, rolling her eyes.

“Rey, did you hear something? Sounded like someone who needs to mind her own business…”

“Screw you, Dameron!”

“ENOUGH!”

The room fell silent as the voice echoed from the doorway, every person around the table sitting like a chastised child. Amilyn Holdo frowned, walking into the room and taking her place at the head of the table.

“Honest to God, it’s always the same!” she snapped, “You are all adults and while I don’t expect you to get along all the time, I expect you not to bicker like children in my department!”

“Sorry, Amilyn,” Poe mumbled.

“Apologies,” Gwen echoed. Amilyn nodded.

“Right, the first order of business. The Williamsburg proposal, that was some great work from everyone,”

Ben’s eyes flicked to Rey for the first time since they’d sat down, Rey sheepishly looking away. She knew fine well that Amilyn wouldn’t have been quite so thrilled if she’d known the extra work that had gone into the presentation thanks to Rey’s number mishap.

“Our client is beyond thrilled with the designs we’ve sent over and they’re keen to start development within the month, all planning permission being clear. You should all be very proud of yourselves,”

A small smattering of applause broke out around the table, polite and to the point. Amilyn looked over her employees. The smile on her face gave Rey chills.

“Now, normally these meetings are to run numbers and give you guys an idea of where we are. I’m afraid to tell you that I have another idea in mind,” Amilyn said, her smile only growing wider, “It’s obvious there is a divide in this office, and I do not like it. We are a team. Without the architects, you engineers have nothing to run and without the engineers, your designs would be nothing more than pretty drawings. You _need_ each other which is why…”

“Boss, please don’t say it…” Poe pleaded.

“We’re going on a team building weekend,”

There was not a single person around the table who didn’t groan, and Rey was certain Amilyn took a perverse pleasure in the discontent of her employees.

“You can groan all you want but it’s mandatory and it _is_ happening,” She said firmly, “Two weeks from now. All expenses paid company retreat. You’ll be paid for your time too,”

“But who will pay for my therapy having to spend time with Dameron?” Gwen complained sardonically.

“Come on Gwen, you know you’ll give in to my charm eventually,” Poe winked, blowing her a kiss across the table.

“I’d rather drink bleach…”

“That can be arranged!” Rose added.

“Guys, enough!” Amilyn snapped, “I won’t hear another word about it. You are going and that is that. Come on, it’s a beautiful place in Vermont. I’ll bet by the end of the weekend you’ll all have had a wonderful time and you’ll be seeing each other in a new light,”

The inhabitants of the room continued to groan, muttering under their breath about how unfair it all was. There was only one thing that truly bothered Rey about the endeavor.

She’d be gone from her computer for a whole weekend.

Amilyn dismissed the meeting, asking Ben to remain behind to discuss an upcoming project. The rest slowly filtered out of the room.

“Hey Gwen, wanna be my bunkmate?” Poe teased as they left.

“Dameron, I swear to God…”

00000

The rest of her working day had been uneventful. Another day of spreadsheets and calculations, of replying to emails and preparing presentations.

As usual, Ben had spent the majority of the day ignoring her, only bothering to even look at her when he’d almost walked into her in the hall, staring down at his phone with a rare smile on his face as he typed. The action created dimples on his cheeks, causing a softness on his face that she’d never seen before. Absently she began to wonder what the catalyst for it had been.

Or who.

There was only one reason someone smiled that way at a phone, and it wasn’t a high score on flappy birds. A foreign sensation bubbled in her stomach, a type of jealously creasing her brow. Someone out there was making a man like Ben Solo smile that way, bringing out another side of him that seemed locked away.

When she had returned to her desk, she found a notification waiting for her on discord.

_< Kyl0R3n> 2v2 tonight? I’m pretty certain we can break the 5k mark for points and I want that sweet shield that’s going at the gear vendor!_

Rey grinned widely, picking up her phone to type her reply.

_< Lightbeam> You know it! I’m sure we can get it done. How’s your day going?_

Before she could see if a reply was being typed, a shadow fell over her desk, a large body standing next to her desk. Ben had a file in his hand, his face expectant.

“Do you have that design from Hux?” He asked, “I’ve to give it the once over before it’s submitted and Amilyn wants it today,” Rey gazed up at him, his face completely indifferent and cool. Nothing like the smile he’d sported only a moment ago.

“Uh…I do but I’m not quite done with it yet. Need the measurements,” she muttered. Ben nodded.

“Well, get it to me today please,” he said shortly, turning to march away from the desk while Rey frowned at his back. At least he’d said please.

Moments later, her phone buzzed.

_< Kyl0R3n> Long. Irritating. The usual suspects making my life more difficult!_

Rey smiled.

_< Lightbeam> I know EXACTLY what you mean!_


	3. Personality Transplant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For all you know, he’s actually some 16-year-old kid in Nantucket who is baiting you,” Finn shrugged. Rey stared at him in horror, but he didn’t yield, “Tell me I’m wrong. It’s the internet Rey,”
> 
> “No. There’s no way, I can tell,”
> 
> “Can you? How?”
> 
> “Yes! From the way he…types,” 
> 
> “The way he types. Oh sweetie, baby, no…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments, I WILL be getting around to reply to them all personally very soon! I've fallen into this story, I think I've got the bug for it and I'm having SO much fun with it already.
> 
> Enjoy reading about our silly, dorky, clueless babies <3

[](https://imgur.com/VWcHm3J)

She was picking at her beer label again.

Perched on the stool at the bar, the lights of the various arcade machines blinked and shone around her, the occasional rattle from the pinball at the other end of the room echoing off the walls while drinkers chatted merrily.

“So, it’s for the whole weekend?” Finn asked, absently cleaning a pint glass. Rey groaned, nodding.

“The whole weekend. We leave Friday afternoon and don’t get back until late Sunday,” she said, “The company may be paying for it, but they didn’t’ even get us flights. Cheap arseholes booked us on a bus. That’s over five hours, might I add!”

“Oh, come on, it won’t be all bad. Rose will be with you, right?” he said optimistically, “And that little snack, Poe...”

“Please don’t start….”

“What? He is!” Finn cried defensively, “That man is a hot pocket that I just wanna sink my…”

“ _Finn_!”

“Teeth! I was going to say teeth into,” He smiled, “Honestly, Peanut, you are so tightly wound!” Rey snorted.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…work is frustrating. There’s a lot on our plates with all the new clients we’ve taken on and now we’re being forced to make nice with people we can barely stand. I mean honestly, has a team building retreat ever really worked?!”

“Who knows. In this place, we just get hammered after we close up shop. Tends to work,” Finn shrugged.

“Well, hooray for you,” Rey drawled, still picking at her bottle. Finn watched her dexterous fingers with a knowing glance.

“You still haven’t given me an answer about that guy,”

“What guy?”

“You know, the one I was going to set you up with!” He said, leaning on the bar. Rey shook her head.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on! Snap is a really nice dude, he likes games and I think you’ll really get along!” Finn insisted, “Please, _please_ , don’t let the only successful thing I’ve ever set you up with be that fucking game!” Rey frowned, draining the last of her beer. Finn instantly replaced the bottle, popping the cap and sliding it towards her.

“Oi, I love that game!” Rey declared, “And as a matter of fact, it does keep me social!”

“That’s right. Your mystery friend that you’ve only ever seen as writing on a screen,” Finn said, “You two have been talking for ages. How come you’ve never actually seen what he looks like?”

“Because it was all about the game for the most part! We’ve only just now started to get to know each other on a deeper level,” Finn sniggered.

“Oh? And how deep a level are we talking?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows, “How big is it? Be honest…”

“It’s not like that, we’re just…chatting,” she defended, “We’re just getting to know each other, I want to be perfectly sure he’s not a total psycho before I start sharing pictures and in-depth details. Besides, it’s kind of nice just now…there’s no pressure, it’s fun,”

“You know what’s fun? Tinder,” Finn said, “And meeting actual people!”

“He is an actual person,”

“For all you know, he’s actually some 16-year-old kid in Nantucket who is baiting you,” Finn shrugged. Rey stared at him in horror, but he didn’t yield, “Tell me I’m wrong. It’s the internet Rey,”

“No. There’s no way, I can tell,”

“Can you? How?”

“Yes! From the way he…types,” Finn nodded slowly, a single eyebrow raised and his arms folding across his chest skeptically.

“The way he types. Oh sweetie, baby, no…”

“Shut up!” Rey hissed.

He had a point. It was what made her so irritated. She didn’t have proof that the man was who he claimed to be. Hell, she hadn’t even heard his voice. There was something far too intimate about voice chat, it was personal like talking over the phone and she wasn’t certain she was ready to break out of their comfort zone just yet. She certainly wasn’t ready to send him a picture and if she wasn’t willing to do that, it felt unfair to ask him.

Her phone rested on the bar, the screen lighting up as a notification pinged. Taking a long swig of her second beer, she opened the message.

_< Kyl0R3n> Longest. Day. Ever. Are you up for tearing up some battlegrounds? I don’t think I can handle cooperating with a raid group tonight._

Finn watched, rolling his eyes at his friend when her face lit up, her shoulders shimmying slightly with an untold excitement.

“Don’t tell me, your boy is on the chat asking if you’re coming out to play?” he asked. Rey nodded.

“Funnily enough, he is, and I am,” she said. Finn reached across the bar, grasping his friends’ hand.

“Rey, I’m begging you. Let me set you up with a real human being,” he pleaded dramatically, “Someone who doesn’t have a fake name…” Rey lifted a brow.

“Didn’t you say his name was Snap?”

“…Touché,” Finn relented, “Please, just think about it!”

“I will _think_ about it, alright?” Rey rushed, pulling her hand away to grab her purse. Finn smiled widely.

“You won’t regret it! Alright you little garbage monster, I’ll see you later. Tell Poe I said hi!” he called as she left, Rey only rolling her eyes, “Rey…Rey? You’ll tell him, right? REY!?”

00000

Her bag and coat both landed in the pile of laundry resting gracelessly at the end of her bed. As quickly as she could she’d changed into comfy clothes, freeing herself from her bra and pulling on a hooded sweater instead. Laundry could wait.

Gaming was now.

The pile of monster energy cans that sat empty around her computer had grown to almost ridiculous proportions, Rey taking it upon herself to stack them in a precarious pyramid of various colors. She’d told herself she would soon throw them away but couldn’t quite bring herself to be rid of the odd creation.

_< Kyl0R3n> You know that stuff is basically poison right? How much do you drink?_

Grabbing her phone, Rey snapped a photo of the cans, deciding that sending him a picture of a small corner of her apartment was harmless.

_< Kyl0R3n> Jesus. Fucking. Christ._

_< Lightbeam> What?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Do you ever get any sleep?! Tell me that wasn’t all in one day? _

_< Lightbeam> Of course not!_

_< Lightbeam> It was two days…_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

Rey leaned back in her seat, biting her lip as she smiled at the screen. They’d long since given up on battlegrounds, both deciding that after the day they’d had that their heads just weren’t in the game. Their characters stood idly inside the space base, other players running around to use to auction house and other vendors. For almost an hour, they’d simply chatted instead.

<Kyl0R3n> _Seriously…heart attack. You are asking for one._

_< Lightbeam> Alright smart guy, what do you drink when you’re playing?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Beer._

_< Lightbeam> HOW IS THAT BETTER?!?!_

_< Kyl0R3n> Beer is made from natural substances that have been fermented. It’s not neon green and it won’t turn my stomach lining into marshmallow. Besides, I have 3 or 4 at most in an evening!_

People laughed at her for her gaming obsession. They said she was isolated, lonely, in desperate need of human interaction. Her world wasn’t nearly as sad as everyone made out, it was simply tailored to her personality, her needs. She didn’t want loud bars and crazy stories, she wanted connection. It was strange to her that she felt more connected to this faceless person than she did to some of her real-life friends.

_< Lightbeam> Mmmm. Marshmallow ;)_

_< Kyl0R3n> Well if you could kindly not die before the end of the season, I’d appreciate it. _

_< Lightbeam> *sigh* You’re just using me to get your next tier of tank gear ;)_

_< Kyl0R3n> Obliviously ;) I’d also be very sad if you suddenly weren’t here. We’re friends x_

Her hands paused over the keys. He’d be sad if she suddenly wasn’t there. The feelings the words evoked on the screen felt almost foolish to her. This unknown person named Kylo, who, in one sentence made her feel wanted, even just a little bit. In her head or otherwise, she’d always felt a little like the second choice, the friend people called on when the others were already taken. Kylo didn’t do that and she scoffed at anyone who told her online connections weren’t real.

_< Lightbeam> For the record, I’d be sad if you disappeared too :) You’re my friend x_

_< Kyl0R3n> :) _

00000

“Have you seen Ben today?”

Rey looked up from her mug of coffee, still stirring the sugar she’d dumped into the liquid. Rose was standing with a narrow-eyed stare, leaning back on the counter of the office kitchen to gaze out onto the floor. Rey shrugged.

“Can’t say I have,” she mumbled, “Why?”

“He looks happy,” Rose said in a hushed voice, “and it’s weird!” Rey turned to follow her friends lead, leaning on the counter with her mug in hand.

“What’s weird about it?” she asked, blowing on the dark beverage.

“Oh, come on, we’ve worked with him for years and never seen him smile like _that_!” Rose hissed, “Think he’s got a girlfriend? A sexy girlfriend? A _tall_ , sexy girlfriend?”

“I don’t know!” Rey snapped, sipping her coffee, “It’s none of my business!”

“Alright, touchy!” Rose said, “I’m just saying, there’s no way he doesn’t have something going on outside work. He goes from ice man to lost puppy the minute he looks at his phone,”

Rey shrugged again. She’d never admit it out loud, but she’d been thinking the same thing. Ben Solo had always been aloof, indifferent, even cold. It wasn’t that he was suddenly a ball of sunshine, but a certain softness was creeping into his personality. The constant scowl she was so used to seeing crease his brow didn’t seem to be there. It took years off him, making him seem at least approachable.

“Yeah but he still yelled at that intern the other day,” Rey commented, “He’s still the same old Solo,”

“The same old Solo but now with a tall, sexy, beautiful girlfriend…”

“Yes, I get the picture, Rose!” Rey drawled, “Why do you care anyway?”

“Aren’t you the least bit curious? I mean, for so long I was under the impression that he just didn’t have a sexuality. I assumed he went home and popped himself into his cryogenic chamber until morning, ready to come back as the cold Master of Buildings we all loved to loathe…but now? _Now_ he’s polite. He’s saying please and thank you!”

Long ago Rey had told herself that Ben was not for her. It didn’t matter if he had a face carved by angels, he had the personality of an ice cube crossed with a Persian cat. Now someone somewhere had cracked him, broken down his walls and Rey felt conflicted.

Because she hadn’t been the one to do it.

They watched from the kitchen as Ben wandered the floor, typing away on his phone before pocketing the device. Moments later, Rey felt her own vibrate.

“Huh, weird coincidence,” Rose shrugged, “You sure it’s not you Captain Cold is messaging?”

Rey pulled out her phone, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t be stupid,” she muttered, smiling down at the screen. Kylo was asking how her day was going. Nothing about the game, battlegrounds or raiding. He was asking about her.

Just her.

“Oh my God, you too!” Rose groaned, “Everyone around here has the googly eyes for their phones!”

“Things haven’t progressed with you know who?” Rey smiled. Rose shook her head, blowing on her own coffee.

“No, he’s still super coy after the office Christmas party,” She sighed, “One minute it’s all ‘Oh baby, you know you’re the only one for me’ then it’s ‘but we work together and it’s weird’. Urgh,”

“Well, that’s what you get for climbing all over Armitage Hux!” Rose smirked devilishly.

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, Rey-Rey, I have a plan!” the smaller girl declared confidently, “Holdo wants us to bond as a team? I’m going to be doing some bonding alright, know what I mean?” she grinned, thrusting her hips.

“Everyone in the office is going to know what you mean if you don’t stop that!” Rey hissed, batting her friend on the arm, “Go back to your desk you little troll!”

Rose’s giggling could be heard across the floor as she wandered, Rey primed to follow when a person blocked her path.

“Oh sorry!” Ben exclaimed, his eyes wide and his arms reaching out to steady Rey and her coffee, “Didn’t see you there,”

“Um. That’s alright,” Rey muttered. He wasn’t frowning at her, his eyes weren’t wary or irritated, he didn’t even sigh in her direction. Ben simply acted the way any normal person would. It was unnerving. She moved to let him past.

“By the way, Rey?” Ben called, Rey turning back to face him before she’d made it out of the door, “That presentation you sent over was excellent. Great work!”

Maybe it was his tone, that genuine compliment without a hint of sarcasm, or maybe it was the fact he looked particularly fetching in his navy V-neck sweater, but he’d managed to blindside her. Forgetting that she held a mug in her hand, the coffee slipped from her grasp, clattering on the linoleum floor and shattering into pieces.

“Shit, are you alright?” Ben asked. Rey blinked once, twice, clearing her head.

“Um, yeah, Christ! Sorry...guess it just slipped,” she babbled, reaching to grab tissues from the counter, frantically mopping up the coffee.

“Here, let me give you a hand,” Ben offered, bending down with some tissue in his hand and picking up the broken pieces of crockery. When the mess had been cleaned to a somewhat acceptable standard, the stood.

“Do you want another cup of…” Ben asked awkwardly trailing off and pointing to the coffee pot. Rey shook her head.

“No! No thank you, I mean…I’m going to go work now. Do the work thing…” she mumbled, pointing back in the direction of her desk. Ben nodded.

“Alright, have a good afternoon,”

Rey only nodded, certain her face looked as dumbstruck as she felt.

_What. The. Fuck…_

00000

Something was different.

It wasn’t a change Ben had noticed instantly in himself. It had been slow, growing over the weeks like a weed in his mind until it finally had become so overgrown that he couldn’t fail to see it.

He’d become so used to the nerves around her that it was second nature. It wasn’t until they were alone together in the kitchen that he realized the nerves were gone. Interaction felt so much easier now that he wasn’t riddled with an anxious need to make a good impression.

Not that he’d ever succeeded in doing so.

The fact Rey had been so taken aback by his relaxed manner and compliment of her work was proof enough that he had been acting like an asshole. He’d internally winced knowing that no amount of social anxiety could excuse him, but if his new outlook made things easier around the office, all the better.

Rey wasn’t his focus anymore. Kira was.

It was stupid, he knew that. He didn’t know what she looked like, but he knew how he felt when he saw her name on the screen when they spoke.

Happy.

The fact they spoke outside of the game, during their days away from their gaming rigs, made him feel lighter. Like he was building an actual connection, a bond with someone who didn’t judge him for his hobby or typically nerdy habits.

_< Lightbeam> My day is going pretty good. I’m ahead with work and that asshole co-worker I always complain about seems to be chilling the fuck out!_

Ben smiled, genuinely pleased that Kira’s professional life was easier.

_< Kyl0R3n> That’s awesome! You know, funnily enough, I’m kinda in the same boat. People are getting their act together and it’s making my deadlines a hell of a lot easier._

_< Lightbeam> Beer to celebrate with some dungeons then? I’ll grab some Monster ;)_

_< Kyl0R3n> Heart. Attack._

_< Lightbeam> Let me have this!_

He booted up his computer, switching to the desktop version of Discord to chat and logging on to Star Republic.

_< Lightbeam> I’m going to miss this in a few weeks. My company is sending me on some stupid team building weekend, so I won’t be able to play :(_

_< Kyl0R3n> No fucking way. MY company is sending us away too. Must be that time of year or something. As if team building weekends have ever ended well! I was still going to take my laptop. Won’t run as fast but if the place has Wi-Fi, I can get something done._

_< Lightbeam> You are so lucky. I don’t have a laptop that can run the game :(_

_< Kyl0R3n> You’ll still have discord on your phone, right?_

_< Lightbeam> Of course_

_< Kyl0R3n> Cool. Then I won’t have to miss you :)_

He’d sent the message before he’d really thought about it. Talking about missing her? Adding a smiley face? Ben groaned, slapping his hands over his face. In the language of the internet, he felt like he may as well proposed marriage.

_< Lightbeam> I won’t have to miss you either :) <3_

A heart. She replied with a heart. Slowly his hands slid down from his eyes, resting on his chin as he read her reply over and over. Hearts were good, you only sent those to people you liked at least a little right? Suddenly he was reminded of being a teenager, of flirting awkwardly on MSN messenger where the greatest declaration of love was putting your sweetheart's name surrounded by the rose emoji after your own.

_< Lightbeam> Can I ask you something?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Sure, ask away…_

_Lightbeam is typing…_

There was nothing tenser than watching those three little dots appear on the screen after someone had requested a question. He continued to stare, his eyes stinging a harsh reminder than blinking was a good thing.

_< Lightbeam> Do you have a girlfriend?_

Did he have a girlfriend? The monk healer that he’d been growing closer and closer to wanted to know if he had a girlfriend. Ben had never typed so quickly.

_< Kyl0R3n> Nope. Single AF._

  1. As fuck. That’s what the kids were writing these days, right?



_< Kyl0R3n> You? _

_< Lightbeam> Oh yeah, long term boyfriend. It’s very serious._

Ben’s stomach dropped as if he’d been at the top of a roller-coaster, the plummet abrupt and nauseating. He felt like he’d been sucker punched in the face. She had a boyfriend? How was that even possible? Not once in all their time talking had she mentioned anyone? His heart pounded in his ears, a crushing disappointment weighing heavily on his chest.

_< Kyl0R3n> Oh. That’s cool._

_< Lightbeam> Yup. First name Star. Second name Bucks ;) #CaffineAddict Same here. Single. As. Fuck._

He almost melted into his chair from the relief, the tension in his muscles draining. He tipped back against the leather rest, laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all. She was single. She was single and she was still talking to him.

_< Kyl0R3n> You’re a monster ;) x_

_< Lightbeam> Yes I am :D <3 x_


	4. Monster Mash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the continued comments! I love you all.
> 
> I know Ben and Rey wouldn't make a very effective PvP team if they didn't use voice chat for their matches...but it's a fluffy rom-com! We're going to be keeping these two separate for just a tiiiiiiny bit longer. I now have basically a full(ish) outline and I know where we're going.
> 
> ONWARDS!

[](https://imgur.com/tDHh3Ps)

Rey sat drumming her fingers against the flat of her computer desk, frowning at the screen. Nothing was particularly wrong, but something had been playing on her mind.

Two things. Two things had been playing on her mind.

The first was still the mystery of Ben Solo and his sudden attitude adjustment. Rose and herself hadn’t been the only people to comment on his change in demeanor. Hux had commented, Kaydel, Gwen, even Poe had all passed their own judgment.

“Maybe he finally got laid,” Poe shrugged as they conspired around the water cooler.

“What is it with all of you and getting laid,” Rey groaned, “The world doesn’t revolve around sex!”

“Uh, yes it does!” Rose pointed out, “and if you didn’t have your nose in that game, you could try it sometime,”

“Har har. You are hilarious,” Rey deadpanned, the trio returning to silence, watching Ben slip into his office.

Since there was nothing that could shed light on the puzzle, other than accepting that Ben had indeed found himself a girlfriend, Rey decided to focus on her second thought and that was Kylo. She picked up the hand that had been drumming on the desk, inspecting her nails and mentally noting that her manicure would soon need re-done.

Kylo hadn’t logged on yet but he’d promised he’d be home soon. Rey reached for her can of tropical blast, sipping the carbonated beverage slowly. Her eyes watched her character on the screen but she didn’t see, her thoughts completely elsewhere.

A recent game she’d taken to playing was imagining what he looked like. Tipping back in her gaming chair, her gaze moved to the ceiling. She imagined dark hair. Yes, he was definitely dark in her mind. Perhaps he was tall, broad shouldered. He’d have long lashes. Pale skin. Dark eyes. She scowled where she stared, her head snapping back towards the screen.

She’d just described Ben Solo.

She groaned, rubbing her tired eyes. There were over a million people in the world that played Star Republic and the fact she’d found someone who lived in New York was already a crazy coincidence. Her chuckle echoed around the silent room. She’d been meaning to replace the speakers on her rig for some time, but since she always used her headset, it had felt like a waste of money she didn’t need to spend.

_< kyl0R3n> Sorry I’m late! Got held up on the phone with my Mom._

His character materialized beside hers on the screen, hopping up and down as if to prove he was there behind the keyboard.

_< Lightbeam> That’s cute :) Momma R3n making sure you were eating your greens and getting to bed at a reasonable time?_

_< Kyl0R3n> More like bothering me about my love life and badgering me to come home for Friday night dinner more often. Parents huh?_

Her lips sucked on the rim of the can, teeth absently chewing on the metal. Family wasn’t the kindest subject for her. Immediately she felt the compelling urge to lie, to agree with him because if she typed ‘LOL’ in large enough letters, her whimsy could be convincing. That was how it worked right?

But she had told herself she would get to know him, honestly, and she couldn’t do that by lying about something so important.

_< Lightbeam> I wouldn’t know _

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

It was the truth. She didn’t know. The only parental figures she’d had were the minders of the homes she’d grown up in. By the time she was 18, Rey had basically learned to be completely self-sufficient.

_< Kyl0R3n> What do you mean?_

_< Lightbeam> I don’t have parents. I grew up in foster care._

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

She watched his username appear and disappear, a staccato pattern where he’d start and stop again, clearly trying to find the right thing to say. Rey suppressed an eyeroll. There was only so many times you could hear ‘I’m sorry’ or a variation of the gesture. Why were other people sorry? All that implied was that Rey was somehow less simply because of her experiences. She preferred to see herself in a better light. She was no victim, she was a survivor.

_< Kyl0R3n> Well that sucks…_

A curious smile lifted her lips, putting her can down next to the keyboard while she thought of her reply. Typing was a strange medium, it was hard to tell someone’s tone or intentions, but intuition was telling her that he meant it with sincerity.

_< Lightbeam> Yeah it really did_

_< Kyl0R3n> But I like to think that experiences make us into who we are today. I know it doesn’t compare, don’t think I’m trying to, but I didn’t have the greatest relationship with my parents. Didn’t talk for a long time._

_< Lightbeam> That sucks too. I guess you’re right…_

_< Kyl0R3n> Think of it this way, are you happy right now?_

_< Lightbeam> Happy as I can be, yeah._

_< Kyl0R3n> Well, every step you’ve ever taken has led you up to this point. Anything different and you might be somewhere else, you wouldn’t have met the friends you’ve got or gone to the college you did…it all makes you._

There was no pity. It was an agreement that it must have been a hard time, a sense of empathy that he understood where she was coming from on some level without trying to one-up her hurt and in the end, he had managed to convey exactly how she felt about her past.

Rey squeezed the empty can, feeling the thin metal buckled under her fingers as she thought. Dropping it, she began to type, hoping that she wasn’t being too impulsive.

_< Lightbeam> Hey, how would you feel about maybe voice chatting sometime? I mean I get it if you’d rather chat a bit more, but I was just wondering. Might be kinda cool to hear your voice? Check you’re definitely a dude for a start ;)_

_< Kyl0R3n> Definitely a dude but there’s a bit of a problem_

Rey frowned at the screen, disappointment crashing over her.

_< Kyl0R3n> I don’t have a headset. It’s still broken, and I never really had a reason to get a new one. _

_< Lightbeam> Oh, well that’s cool_

_< Kyl0R3n> How about I grab one tomorrow? I’m sure there’s a Gamestop near my work. _

_< Lightbeam> Gamestop. Ewww._

_< Kyl0R3n> I know, I know but it’s the fastest way to a new set! Tomorrow then?_

Rey could feel her chest fluttered at the prospect.

_< Lightbeam> Tomorrow :)_

00000

_Fuck. This. Store._

Gamestop was Ben’s own personal nightmare.

The walls were lined with funkos, tee shirts and other random pieces of gaming merchandise that he knew for a fact he could get cheaper online. Pushing his way into the store, Ben found himself surrounded by pre-teens.

“Have you played the new Fortnite map? Oh my God, it is so cool!”

_What the fuck is a fortnite?_

He had no time for it. Spying the pathetically stocked hardware section near the back of the store, he began to dodge and weave through the other customers, narrowly avoiding standing on a kid sprinting the length of the room with a Minecraft foam pickaxe.

Amazon could overnight him a headset, a good one too, and it would cost a fraction of the inflated price this merchandised hell hole was charging, but Kira wanted to talk to him and if Kira wanted to voice chat then there was no way in hell, he was waiting another 24 hours.

There wasn’t much to choose from. Eventually, he settled on a Razer Kraken gaming headset, audibly sucking in a sharp breath when he caught the price.

_$130. I am spending $130 to talk to a girl on the internet._

“Hey dude, is that all today?” the gawky sales assistant asked behind the register. Ben nodded, desperate to leave the store and the awful music they were subjecting him to, “You know, for only an extra $30 dollars, you can purchase our extended warranty…”

“No,”

“But it means if you break your equipment, Gamestop will replace it no questions asked,”

“No, thank you,”

“But…”

“NO!” his objection was so loud, he could have sworn a group of boys huddled around the Playstation display had stopped talking, all turning to look in his direction. Ben thrust his credit card towards the cashier, awkwardly avoiding his gaze. Grabbing his purchase, he vowed that as long as he lived, he would never set foot back in a Gamestop store.

Despite his tribulations, he’d done it. He was $130 poorer and in the possession of a new headset, telling himself firmly that it was a sensible purchase for running battlegrounds and definitely wasn’t _only_ for Kira.

The elevator stopped at his floor, Ben immediately heading towards his office, hoping that he didn’t run into anyone on the way. He wasn’t nearly so lucky.

“Hey Solo, didn’t peg you for the gaming type?” Poe grinned, falling in line with the taller man’s steps. Ben stifled an annoyed sigh.

“Well, I am,” he replied shortly.

“Oh yeah? What do you play?” Poe pressed.

_You could have lied, told him it was for a friend’s kid but noooo…_

What could he say? He didn’t want to confess to Poe that he spent every night playing an MMO. It simply wasn’t worth the questions his answer would raise, but when was the last time he played _anything_ else?

_Wait, what did that kid say?_

“Fortnite,” Ben mumbled, “I play Fortnite,” Poe’s face lit up and quickly Ben realized he’d made a grave error.

“No way! I play Fortnight too,” Poe beamed, “What class do you play?”

“Uh…tank?”

Tank. Tank was a good answer. If Ben knew anything about gaming, it was that team-based games generally always had a tank class, a damage maker and a healer. He played a tank in Star Republic, surely it wasn’t too far a stretch? Watching Poe’s reaction, he prayed silently it was enough of an answer to get him out of the conversation.

“Check you with the old school gaming talk! I play soldier classes too, super fun!” Poe enthused, “Since we’re supposed to be ‘bonding’” he said, using air quotes, “why don’t you hit me up for a game some time?”

“Yeah sure, totally!” Ben lied, relieved that he’d finally made it to his office, heading inside and closing the door behind him as quickly as he could.

_Fuck. Now I have to start playing Fortnite…Whatever the hell that is…_

Poe continued his walk, heading towards the break room where Rey and Rose were finishing their lunch.

“I just learned something new and very surprising about Mr. Solo today!” Poe declared, heading straight for the coffee pot. Rey lifted her gaze from her salad.

“And that is what?”

“The dude shops at Gamestop for a start!” Poe chuckled, “Bumped into him coming out the elevator,” Rey reached for a napkin on the table, wiping her mouth.

“Gamestop? What was he buying?” she asked curiously. Poe shrugged.

“Nah, I never asked what he was buying. Think we’re going to try and get a game together some time!”

Rey steadied her expression, remaining as neutral as possible. It was only the night before that Kylo had spoken about going to a Gamestop for a new headset.

_No…not possible…_

“What does he play?” Rey asked, secretly desperate for an answer. Poe chuckled again, clearly amused at something nobody else understood.

“You’ll never believe it!”

“Well, I’d like to hear it anyway,” Rey pressed, “You know…as a gamer and all. It’s interesting,” she excused awkwardly.

“Fortnite! Ben Solo plays Fortnite!” Poe laughed, “I never would have called it! Think we’re going to try and get some games in one evening, maybe help with the team building process. Oh hey, do you think I should bring some stuff on the away weekend? Maybe we can LAN party and it won’t be a total waste!”

“Oh, yeah…that sounds cool,” Rey muttered, annoyed and disappointed all at once. It was irrational, she kept telling herself. She was letting her infatuation with Ben and Kylo blend into one another, creating a scenario in her head that was so unlikely, it was laughable.

“Rose, you in?” Poe asked, looking towards the other girl. Rose shook her head.

“Oh no, while you nerds are abusing the free Wi-Fi, I’m going to be playing a game of my own…in my pants!”

“Rose…”

“You know? Sex? You guys know I was talking about sex, right?”

Shaking his head, Poe left the break room.

00000

There were 3 half drunk cans sitting on her desk, each one slowly going flat as the minutes ticked by.

Rey sat in her chair, primed and ready to finally hear his voice. Her headset was plugged in, levels checked and now all she needed to do was wait for Kylo to log on. Absently she wrapped her barefoot around the untidy wires that pooled below the desk, her knee bouncing with pent up energy, not helped by the caffeine she’d drank.

She felt like a tightly coiled spring, like a firework on the end of a long fuse burning far too slowly. She needed to relax, unwind, _something_ to relieve the pressure she was feeling. Her mind wandered to ripping labels from beer bottles and Finn’s comments about meeting real people.

For all she protested and promised she was totally fine, there _was_ one thing that she missed about human contact. The chair bounced lightly as she tipped her weight back, her wire tangled leg dangling over one of the armrests.

So, what if Kylo wasn’t Ben, daydreaming didn’t hurt anymore. Her eyes fluttered closed as her hand slipped below the waistband of her leggings, delving between her damp slit. The relief of contact was instantaneous, a content sigh escaping into the quiet of her living room.

His hands would be so much larger than her own, thick fingers that she’d allow explore every inch of her body. She’d be putty under his touch, pliant and willing. The pads of her own fingers circled her clit, gathering moisture to move smoothly against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Her cunt clenched, desperate for more, to be stretched and filled. If she tried hard enough, she could almost imagine his hand in her hair, tugging at her locks while he fucked her from behind.

She could almost hear his voice.

“Kira?”

Her thighs were practically trembling with tension when the voice emanated loudly through her headset, breaking the silence and letting her know she wasn’t alone. She jumped with fright, her hand tugging roughly back out of her leggings, her foot swinging from over the armrest, viciously pulling the wires attached to the useless speaker. The device toppled, the impact on the wood sending the row of cans on their sides, leaving her desk in a pool of sticky carbonated liquid.

And her headset soaked.

“Fuck!” She hissed, “Shit, fuck, shit!”

Frantically she ran to her kitchen, grabbing a dishcloth to try and mop up the mess. It was too late; the damage was already done. She picked up the saturated headset, hearing nothing but static through the earphones. The green light on the side was flickering, fading.

“Kylo?” she tried the microphone, “Kylo can you hear me?”

Nothing. Woefully, Rey looked at her screen.

_< Kyl0R3n> Everything alright? I can’t hear you. I’m getting nothing but static from your mic._

_< Lightbeam> I spilled Monster all over my headset :’(_

_< Kyl0R3n> How the fuck did you do that?! I’m going to try speaking, let me know if you can at least hear me._

Her heart leaped hearing the crackling sound, a strange audible proof that Kylo was indeed a real person but it was nothing more than garbled noise.

_< Lightbeam> Nothing :’( Just static. _

_< Kyl0R3n> Speakers?_

_< Lightbeam> Broken, remember?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Well you have a habit of dosing your electronics in soda, I’m not surprised ;)_

Rey growled under her breath, dropping her useless headset on the sticky desk in front of her. She’d mopped up what she could, and she supposed she should have been grateful. Her headset took the brunt of it and her keyboard would have been far more expensive to replace.

_< Lightbeam> I’m so sorry. Rain check?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Hey, it’s no problem, I’m not going anywhere :)_

Rey sighed, smiling in spite of her annoyance. The poor guy had gone and specifically bought a headset just for their chats and through complete clumsiness, she’d managed to ruin their plans.

_< Lightbeam> Maybe it’s not a bad thing…not voice chatting I mean. Breaking my headset was definitely bad._

_< Kyl0R3n> …You don’t want to talk to me?_

_< Lightbeam> Of course I do! But it’s kind of old school, right? A little mystery?_

But it wasn’t a mystery. Not completely. Before her epic fuck up, she’d hear him. Just two syllables of his voice calling her name. Deep, rich and vaguely familiar. She’d wished she’d been able to hear more than a second of it before she’d given her equipment a Monster bath.

_< Kyl0R3n> I guess I understand…_

_< Lightbeam> Sorry, I’m not explaining myself well here. I just mean that…I like you for…you. Not for your voice or what you look like._

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

Fuck. She’d done it now. She’d used the L-word. The other L-word that was as close to the big L-word as she was going to get given their circumstances but the longer she watched his name flash on the screen and disappear again, the more she let the feeling of certainty settle in her chest. He wasn’t Ben but holding onto that idea was stopping her from seeing the other opportunities in front of her.

Kylo was intelligent, funny and she decided, faceless or not, she had meant it when she said she liked him.

_< KyloR3n> I like you too <3_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey wants to keep the mystery? I'm sure that'll end well...


	5. Going In Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey, it’s not a question of working harder but smarter. You are good at your job, but I want to make sure we’re not wasting your talents. First Order wouldn’t want to lose you to another position simply because you’re not challenged,”
> 
> Rey nodded slowly, fixing a polite smile to her face. She liked her job, it was well enough paid, something she could do when she was half asleep from nights of gaming. There really was no good way to turn down a boss who genuinely cared about her employees.
> 
> A knock sounded at the door.
> 
> “Come in,” 
> 
> _Oh SHIT…_
> 
> “Ah Ben, great timing,” Amilyn smiled, “Take a seat,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments still, I'm so glad folk are enjoying this little nonsense story! I will reply to your comments asap, I know I've let them build up!
> 
> Sidenote for those who have asked: I've deleted my Reylo twitter account. If I'm honest, I think it's a horrible toxic place. People respond too much, too fast and even if you don't follow people you'll still see them anyway. Fandom twitter has actually caused me more problems and involved me in more drama than I ever was on Tumblr. So good riddance to that awful place. I'm still on Tumblr, I'm still on Discord.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ZyvadUu)

Finn was smiling at her in the strangest way.

Sitting in her usual spot at the bar, her friend behind the barrier of wood, she could see his facial muscles twitching, his mouth squirming as he tried to stifle what she was sure would be the loudest laugh in history.

“So,” he began, his tone oddly pitched, “Let me see if I’ve got this straight. You were…”

“Yes…”

“and he got on the voice chat…”

“Uhuh…”

“You freaked out and someone managed to drench your stuff and _break_ your headset?”

“That is the general story, yes,” Rey replied testily, her face a petulant scowl that only fuelled Finn’s glee, holding his sides and doubling over with laughter, all his control lost, “It’s not funny!”

“Yes. Yes, it is!” Finn insisted between chuckles, wiping his streaming eyes, “It’s very fucking funny. Only you, _only you_ , could be that damn clumsy!”

“Alright, you don’t need to rub it in,” she muttered, “Besides, I think it worked out for the best, broken headset aside,”

“How so?”

“We agreed to stay off voice and not send pictures before we meet in person,” Rey smiled proudly, “You know, keep some of the mystery alive?” Finn blinked at her, his expression was eerily blank.

“That is…the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,”

“Oi!”

“No, I’m serious peanut! It’s the internet. This person could be anyone and you want to just fly in blind? Come on, what’s this really about?” Finn prodded, leaning forward on the bar and pinning her with an inquisitive stare, “I know you, Rey,”

“It’s…nothing!” She insisted, “I…God, this is going to sound so dumb,”

“Hit me with it,”

“I heard his voice for, like, 2 seconds, but it sounded _so_ familiar!” she said, “I might just be imagining things but…he sounded like Ben at work,”

“Ben…Solo? The asshole you’re always complaining about because you not-so-secretly want to bone him?” Finn asked. Rey nodded sheepishly.

“Rey, sweetie, I can confidently say the chances of it being Ben are…slim as fuck. Want to know what I think?” Rey nodded again, “I think that you’re so infatuated with Solo that you’re grasping for straws, and the reason you changed your mind about that voice chat is that you’re trying to convince yourself there’s a chance Ben and Kylo are the same people. Sound about right?”

Rey picked up her beer, miserably taking a sip.

“I mean…maybe,” she mumbled reluctantly, “I just…I was so sure what I heard but maybe you’re right,”

“I know I’m right!” Finn said confidently, “I mean, is the whole Ben thing a no-go?”

“You mean has he lightened up any? Kind of, but we’re all fairly certain it’s because he’s got a new girlfriend,” Rey groaned, “He walks around the office all day with big heart eyes for his phone,”

“Maybe he just really loves his phone?” Finn shrugged, “I just got the new iPhone and that’s as close to a long-term relationship as I’m going to get!”

“Oh no, this is more serious than Siri. He gets this smile on his face anytime he gets a message,” she sighed, picturing those full lips curving upwards, dimples forming around his cheeks, “It’s…cute. Couldn’t be anything else,”

“You mean the same smile you get whenever Kylo messages you?” Finn pointed out. Rey’s beer bottle stopped, hovering in mid-air on the journey to her mouth as she processed Finn’s question.

“Fair point,” she said, “Am I being dumb?”

“Yes,”

“Ouch, straight to the point…”

“Sorry Peanut, but you are being a dummy!” Finn said honestly, “You know, you’ve still not given me an answer about Snap?”

“I swear to God…”

“What? He’s really nice! He’s a handsome guy, likes games, has a good job and most importantly of all, doesn’t have a girlfriend and _is a real person_!”

“Kylo _is_ real. I heard him…”

“Just…think about it?” Rey sighed dramatically, growling under her breath.

“ _Fine_. I will think about it and give you an answer by tomorrow. Fair?”

“Fair!” Finn smiled happily, “Speaking of fair, has, uh…Poe mentioned me at all?”

“Oh yes! He talks about you all the time!” Rey said sweetly.

“Really?”

“Nope.”

00000

The hours were dragging.

Rey sat at her desk, her eyes barely focusing on the numbers in front of her. She’d been sent the blueprints for a project, but everything was starting to blur into a mass of shapes. The ping through her speakers made her jump, a little box appearing in the corner of her screen.

“Hello Amilyn, what can I do for you?” Rey muttered, clicking the box to open her email.

_Rey,_  
  


_Can you come to my office, please? Nothing scary, I promise!_  
  
Amilyn Holdo.

“Nothing scary? Yeah, right,” Rey groaned, pushing herself away from her desk to wander the floor, heading towards her boss’s domain. Since when was receiving a summon to see your boss anything other than terrifying?

Rey knocked on the door, anxiously waiting for Amilyn to call her inside.

“Rey, great! Come on in and take a seat,” Amilyn smiled. Despite the woman’s warm smile, Rey still felt uneasy, taking her seat across the large, pale desk, “I wanted to have a little one on one chat with you,”

“Sure!” Rey said, “What can I do for you?” Amilyn leaned forward. Rey had never felt more on the spot.

“How are you finding it here?” she asked.

“Um, fine? I think…I’m not sure I understand the question?” she answered.

“How are you finding your work? Engaging? Stimulating? Please, you can be honest,” Amilyn pressed. Rey shrugged helplessly.

“I mean, yeah it’s good. I enjoy my work here,” Rey said, “Is…there a problem?”

“No, no real problem!” Amilyn insisted, “But I’ve noticed that you’ve been going through the motions a little. Potentially bored? Would I be correct in my assumption?”

“I suppose I’ve been doing the same thing for a while,” Rey said, “Amilyn, am I in trouble? Because I can work harder!”

“Rey, it’s not a question of working harder but smarter. You are good at your job, but I want to make sure we’re not wasting your talents. First Order wouldn’t want to lose you to another position simply because you’re not challenged,”

Rey nodded slowly, fixing a polite smile to her face. She liked her job, it was well enough paid, something she could do when she was half asleep from nights of gaming. There really was no good way to turn down a boss who genuinely cared about her employees.

A knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,”

_Oh SHIT…_

“Ah Ben, great timing,” Amilyn smiled, “Take a seat,”

“What can I do for you?” Ben asked, sitting down next to Rey.

“So, I was just speaking to Rey about her work and what we can do to help her expand her portfolio, get her working on some more interesting projects. I think you’d be the perfect partner for the Bank of America pitch,”

“What?” Rey squeaked, “Um, I mean…what pitch?”

“The Bank of America is looking to build another financial center and First Order has been given an opportunity to pitch building designs to their investors. Rey, I want you to work with Ben on the designs and the pitch. Make sure it’s all viable,” Amilyn explained.

“Amilyn, I really don’t think Rey needs to be involved, I’m halfway done already…” Ben began but Amilyn waved him off.

_Ouch. Thanks, Ben…_

“Nonsense, every little helps, Ben,” Amilyn insisted, “Besides, this will give you a little extra bonding time before the team retreat!”

“Yeah. Great,” Rey said tightly, her back teeth gritting. His polite refusal had already heated her blood. Rey clenched her fists in her lap, diverting the pressure of holding back her scowl to her hands.

“Well, if that’s what you want,” Ben relented.

“It is! I’m glad you’re both on board. Give me an update by the end of the week,” She smiled, “Alright you two…get out of here and get started!”

Ben stood first, Rey tailing him from the office towards his own, taking two steps for every one of his.

“I know this isn’t ideal…” Rey mumbled, stepping into his office as he held the door open for her, “But I guess it’s a good opportunity?”

“Let me get you up to speed,” Ben said curtly ignoring her comment and going to his computer to open the presentation file, “I already have a lot of this done. I wasn’t exaggerating to Amilyn, really I’m not sure what she wants you to do,” Rey bristled.

“I’m sure she thought my expertise would be needed, otherwise she wouldn’t have asked me,” she replied testily. Ben glanced at her from his screen, his face frustratingly blank.

“Design work and those kinds of presentations are best done by the architects,” he said, leaning back in his chair, looking back to the screen. Rey sat down in the chair across from his desk, her spine straight. “We can sell the vision,”

“And the structural engineers make sure your big, silly designs are actually viable!” Rey said, “So that you don’t have to go crawling back to explain that your _vision_ isn’t possible!” Ben scowled, his head snapping to hers

“Big, silly designs? Hey, I’ll have you know that I had a hand in at least 3 buildings on the New York skyline, there’s nothing silly about that!” he snapped, standing to lean over his desk. Rey stood, not willing to be intimidated by his height.

“Again, structural engineering. You are very welcome!”

“Did I say your work wasn’t important?”

“You may as well have! You architects swan around here like you own the place and don’t bother to even acknowledge us unless you need someone to clean up your numbers!” Rey snapped, the frown on Ben’s face only deepening.

“I’m sorry, but wasn’t it _me_ cleaning up _your_ numbers in case you forgot? The Williamsburg proposal?” Rey rolled her eyes, Ben stepping out from behind his desk as their voices grew.

“Oh my _God_ will you drop that? I said I was sorry…” Ben raked his hands through his hair, his dark eyes flashing dangerously.

“It’s not about being sorry!” Ben shouted, “This is your problem Rey, you just don’t care! You swan in here every day, clearly exhausted from whatever crazy night out you had the previous evening, coffee in your hand and you do the minimal amount of work required to get by, leaving the rest of us to pick up after you!”

“How dare you! You can’t comment on my life outside this office, you don’t know what I do…”

“I can when it affects everyone else,” Ben replied hotly, “And you’re so talented Rey, you are! The problem is that you know it…you know that you can do the bare bones and still get by. Have you any idea how frustrating that is to see?”

“What is it to you how I work?” Rey asked, “You don’t know what my life is like out of here because you’ve never once taken an interest in anyone but yourself! God, and to think I thought you were mellowing out but you’re still just…just…”

“Just what?”

“Just a fucking prick!”

“Nice. Real nice,” Ben drawled, his eyes narrowing, “You know what, yes, I admit I have been short with you in the past but that’s because you exasperate the life out of me. You have all the talent in the world and you’re wasting it, sweetheart!”

“Don’t call me that!” Rey growled, “Since you’re ‘ _not sure what I’d do’_ you can just do the rest of the pitch yourself…and you can explain to Amilyn why I wasn’t involved,”

“Gladly!”

Her jaw clenched tightly, Rey stormed towards the door, yanking it open. She stopped short at the group of people she found there. Like a group of mice being disturbed, Rose, Poe, Kaydel, Gwen and Hux all scattered, each looking anywhere except the irate brunette stamping back towards her desk.

Poe leaned into Ben’s office.

“Is now a bad time to ask about the Fortnite game?”

“Get out, Dameron!”

00000

Angry typing lead to typos.

That was the lesson Rey had learned the remainder of her day. Tension hung around her desk, her co-workers all concluding it was best not to approach unless absolutely necessary. Ben kept himself in his office, the occasional curse floating past the door. Once, Rey had dared to leave her post for her much needed afternoon coffee, the office had fallen into an uncomfortable hush.

_< Finn> Come to the bar! I’ve got something that I’m sure will cheer you up!_

_< Rey> It better be free beer and onion rings…_

Barcade was busy for a weekday night, students hovering around the retro games, the room bathed in the bright lights of the screens. Rey brushed the front of her pencil skirt. The waistband was digging into her stomach, the crisp, white shirt she’d put on that morning twisted and rumpled. Really all she wanted to do was head home, pull on sweats and forget her day had ever happened.

Stopping at the door, she checked her phone. Kylo hadn’t been online since morning, only adding to her foul mood.

“Rey! You made it,” Finn called, waving from behind the bar, “Come here!” She fixed a false smile on her face, forcing her good cheer for the sake of her friend.

“Alright, I’m coming,” she sighed. The smile on her face began to fall seeing Finn beam at her.

“Rey, this is Snap!” Finn declared, gesturing to the man on Rey’s side of the bar. He was a larger guy with wavy dark hair and beard. His smile lit up his face in a pleasant way, his denim shirt hanging over a white tee shirt and tan chinos.

“Oh! Hi, nice to meet you,” Rey stammered awkwardly, “Finn, a word please?” she grimaced, grabbing her friend by the shirt collar over the bar and dragging him away, “Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me?!”

“What? He just happened to be stopping by tonight and I thought you could meet him,” Finn insisted, “It’s not a date or anything!”

“Uhuh. I don’t believe you for one minute,” Rey snapped, “I have had the worst day and I don’t need this. _Please_ tell me that he doesn’t think this is a date?!”

“No! No, I just happened to mention that my best friend might be stopping by,” Finn said, “And you did!”

“Because you asked me to!” Rey groaned, “Finn, I’ve had a shitty day…”

“All the more reason for you to stay and have a beer with some friendly faces!” Finn smiled, walking her back towards Snap, “So, another for you dude?”

“Yeah, thanks!” Snap smiled, “Finn tells me you’re big into your games?” Rey nodded, reaching for her beer.

“I am, yeah. Big gamer,” Rey smiled. Gaming was a safe topic. It was something she genuinely enjoyed and found easy to talk about. “You?”

“Yeah! You can’t get me off my Playstation when I’m home,” Snap smiled, “What do you play? What’s your hardware?”

“I’m mainly a PC gamer,” Rey shrugged, “I mean, my rig isn’t that impressive anymore. Running on an intel core i7-9700k CPU and a Gigabyte Z390 aorus ultra motherboard. I did update my graphics card to the nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 not too long ago though, it was expensive but worth it for the ray tracing!” she gushed. Snap gave her a bemused smile.

“Ah, I’m not really into PC gaming. I like just plugging things in and booting up!” he said. Rey nodded.

“Oh yeah, consoles are cool for that,” she muttered, sipping at her beer, “I tend to play Star Republic mainly,” she explained. Suddenly, Snap snorted an inelegant laugh.

“Oh my God, really? That shitty MMO? I didn’t know anyone still plays that crap,” he chuckled. The smile was wiped from Rey’s face, replaced by an indignant frown.

“It’s actually a really fun game and lots of people play it,” she defended, “They release new expansions frequently…”

“Okay. Cool,” Snap shrugged, “Just seems lame to me!”

“Well, it’s not!” Rey snapped, “I play it all the time,” she put down her beer bottle, reaching into her bag to find her phone. The screen was still frustratingly blank.

“Looks like I need to head off,” Rey lied.

“You just got here?” Finn said, raising his eyebrow in question. Rey picked up her beer once more, chugging back the bottle like a dying man in the dessert.

“Well, it’s the middle of the week and I have things to do,” Rey muttered, “It was nice to meet you,” she said to Snap, still sour from his opinions on her gaming habits. It was obvious Finn didn’t believe her since her version of ‘things to do’ tended to be sitting at home booting up the PC. She was thankful he didn’t comment.

“I’ll be messaging you later, Peanut!”

“I’ll be ignoring your messages, Finn!”

00000

_Fuck this fucking day_

Truthfully it felt like there was little on her body that didn’t hurt. Launching her bag onto her sofa, she shuffled to her room, grabbing the closest comfortable clothes she could, settling on an oversized sweater and leggings.

All she wanted was to sink into her chair and lose herself, to talk to someone friendly. Ben’s words were still ringing in her ears, the sting made all the more acute because they were true. Maybe she didn’t give it her all, perhaps she was bored? Really, she’d never given it much thought how her lazy performance would affect others, but had he really needed to be so cutting about it?

Kylo’s familiar avatar on the screen made her smile.

_< Kyl0R3n> Hey, you made it on! Sorry I wasn’t around all day. It’s been a long one_

_< Lightbeam> You’re telling me. I’ve had the day from hell. I missed talking to you today :(_

_< Kyl0R3n> I missed you too. Tell me about your day then?_

Rey pulled at her sleeves, the relief of having him there filling her chest like fresh air to her lungs. Rapidly, she began to type.

_< Lightbeam> Not much to tell, I don’t want to get into details, but I got into it with a co-worker. Probably the worst it’s ever been. Then my friend tells me to come to his work, you know the bar? He tells me he’s got a surprise to cheer me up. Turns out it was some dating thing!_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

_Kyl0R3n is typing…_

His name flickered on and off the screen rapidly, his typing stopping and starting. Rey chewed on her nail, frowning at the screen.

_< Kyl0R3n> You went on a date?_

She blinked at the screen, reading his question multiple times.

_< Lightbeam> Not really. Like, my friend wanted to set me up and I kept telling him I’d think about it and I guess he just did it anyway. I turned up to the bar and the dude was just there._

_< Kyl0R3n> So it was a blind date? Which still makes it a date…_

_< Lightbeam> No! It was just a beer._

Rey winced, biting her lip as she stared at the screen.

_< Kyl0R3n> So you went for a drink with a guy your friend was trying to set you up with? Yeah, that’s a date…_

_< Lightbeam> I’m really not explaining this well…_

_< Kyl0R3n> You know, I’m going to give PvP a miss tonight._

_< Lightbeam> Kylo, come on…_

_Kyl0R3n is offline_

Rey groaned, leaning back in her chair, the screen blurring in front of her as her eyes stung.

_Fuck. This. Day._


	6. Swallow That Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey, sweetie, I love you but sometimes I want to just grab you by the shoulders and shake you really hard!” Finn drawled, “That dude is into you so how about you do yourself a favor and actually meet him. Do that whole blind date ‘I’ll wear this’ and ‘you wear that’ nonsense if you have to, but this living in limbo thing is doing neither of you any good!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a broken record but once more, thank you for everyone who is reading, commenting and sharing this fic about <3

[](https://imgur.com/O522Wd9)

Pride comes before a fall.

It was something his Mother liked to say often, especially when Ben was younger. He was academically gifted, he came from a good family and there was no way Leia Organa would have allowed her Son to grow up being a spoiled brat.

It hadn’t worked particularly well, her efforts demolished by the time he was in his final year of college. His mentor, Harold Snoke, had laughed at the idea of humility, relishing in showing Ben that pride was not a trait to be hidden away.

“Why hide your talents? You know you’re better than the other students. Be proud of your superiority!” he’d been told. His lack of humility combined with a social awkwardness had culminated in the reputation placed on his name.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” Ben grumbled out loud. He was lying in his bed, the sheets twisted around his legs where he had tossed and turned, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness of his bedroom.

In one swoop his pride had managed to spoil things. First with Rey, allowing his frustrations with her to finally boil over. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to work with her. The moment she’d stormed from his office, he’d realized that whatever attraction he held for the small engineer hadn’t quite been extinguished by Kira. Really, how could it?

He spoke to Kira every day. There was something lingering that he wanted to explore but her sudden mind change and desire to keep the mystery was baffling to him. Part of him wondered if she’d even broken her headset at all.

Ben rolled onto his side, the faint sounds to traffic from the street below drifting through his open window. Even in mid-September, the air was still thick. He reached for his phone on the nightstand, 5:27 am flashing obnoxiously at him.

And no notifications.

He groaned, dropping the phone by his side. Why would there be? She’d tried to tell him about her awful day, something he could have empathized with and instead he’d stomped away in a strop at the mention of her having a date. It was the final nail in the coffin of a shitty day, his mood too sour to even stop and read what she’d been telling him.

For the briefest of moments, it had clicked. She didn’t have a broken headset, she just wanted to keep him at arm's length. Reading back the chat transcript had been painful once he’d calmed down.

By then she was offline.

_Fuck it. I’m awake now._

He dragged himself from the bed, shuffling towards his bathroom to step into the shower. Pride be damned, he could fix this.

He’d apologize to Rey. He’d apologize to Kira.

00000

Rey had barely slept.

Between her argument with Ben and then Kylo’s reaction to her mention of Snap, her brain had been buzzing with activity the whole night. It bothered her more and more that Ben had a point. Although he’d chosen to voice it in a rather blunt manner, he was right. She _was_ phoning it in and not once had she really thought about how her actions affected everyone working with her. Not only that but she’d walked out of a work project assigned to her by her boss.

_God, you’re a moron_

She nodded to herself in the bathroom mirror with determination, fresh from brushing her teeth. Gaming to relax was one thing but when it was starting to impact her work life, and potentially her ability to pay her rent, _that_ was another matter entirely. It was time to woman up and admit her faults.

While hopping around her bedroom, clumsily trying to push her foot into one of her heels, a knock sounded at the door. Frowning, Rey checked the time.

7:45 am

“Who the fuck?” she muttered to herself, checking the peephole and sighing as she unlocked the security chain, “What are you doing here?”

“I come baring apology pastry!” Finn smiled sheepishly, producing a brown paper bag in one hand, “And apology coffee,” a holder of takeaway cups in the other. Rey reluctantly smiled, stepping aside to let him in.

“I didn’t know you even functioned before noon,” she smirked, accepting the coffee from his hand, “But thank you,”

“I am sorry, Peanut,” Finn said contritely, “I just…I dunno, I thought you maybe needed a little push!”

“I know, but I’m actually pretty happy with my life, believe it or not!” she stressed, “I don’t need set up on a blind date…especially with a guy like that. Honestly, what were you thinking?”

“Alright, I’ll admit you didn’t hit it off,” Finn shrugged, “and I won’t do it again. I promise!”

“Thank you,” Rey said, opening her bag to tear into the croissant Finn had brought her, “Things went from bad to worse last night. I had a fight with Kylo,”

“A fight? Like…a gaming fight?”

“No, I think this was a real one but I’m still not sure what actually happened,” Rey pondered, “I told him about my bad day and the blind date you tried to set me up on and then he just…ran. Logged off in a huff,” Finn snorted a laugh.

“He disconnected after you told him you’d been set up on a date?” Finn asked. Rey nodded.

“Well yeah but I didn’t even get a chance to explain that it wasn’t really a _date_ date…” Finn chuckled once more, sipping his coffee.

“Sounds like homeboy is jealous!”

“No, he can’t be!”

“Rey, sweetie, I love you but sometimes I want to just grab you by the shoulders and shake you really hard!” Finn drawled, “That dude is _into you_ so how about you do yourself a favor and actually meet him. Do that whole blind date ‘I’ll wear this’ and ‘you wear that’ nonsense if you have to, but this living in limbo thing is doing neither of you any good!”

Rey awkwardly picked at the last of her pastry avoiding Finn’s piercing gaze until she relented, grumbling under her breath.

“I hate it when you’re right…”

“I love it when I’m right,” he grinned, “Come on, you can even meet him at the bar for safety. I’ll be there and then if it’s all good you can head out to wherever else two nerds go on dates,”

“Uhuh, well right now, I need to head out to work or I’m going to be late and I really cannot be late today!” She spoke with her mouth full of croissant.

“Why, what’s happening today?” Finn asked.

“Peace talks!”

00000

It wasn’t her imagination that a slight hush fell over the office floor as she emerged from the elevator, walking towards her desk. It meant one of two things.

Either her argument with Ben was still a hot topic of discussion or Ben had arrived and the presence of both combustible elements had people on edge. Rey couldn’t blame them, she was sure they’d given their co-workers quite the show.

Hanging her coat on the back of her chair and placing her bag safely under her desk, she checked her reflection in the darkness of her powered down computer monitor.

_No time like the present…time to woman up_

Standing tall, knowing most were watching her movements, Rey began to walk towards the hallway of offices, rounding the corner only to walk headfirst into a wall of chest muscle. Large hands shot out to grab her shoulders, steadying her on her heels before she fell.

“Oh! Ben...um, hi,” she stammered.

“Good morning, Rey,” Ben replied looking equally as awkward. Her chest warmed looking up at his face through her lashes, his voice a far cry from the harsh tone she’d experienced the day before.

“I was actually just coming to speak to you,” she said, “Do you think we could talk?”

“I think that would be a good idea,” he replied, glancing around the floor to meet the curious looks from the other employees with an irritated frown, “How about my office?”

“Yes, privacy is good,”

Ben turned, Rey following him towards his office, every set of eyes trained on their departing backs, excited and curious waiting for round two. He avoided her gaze as they walked silently, staring directly ahead stoically while she peered at him from the corner of her vision, her stomach churning while she tried to get a grasp on what she was walking in to.

When they reached his office, Ben closed the door behind her, it didn’t feel like small mercy. The silence between them was charged, thick and tense until Ben broke it with a weary sigh, sitting down behind his desk, leaning back in the tilting chair to rub his face.

“You look tired,” Rey blurted out, unsure how to begin what she really needed to say. Ben looked at her with the faintest hint of amusement.

“You know what, I am,” he admitted, “Long night. Bad sleep,”

“Ben, I’m sor- “

“Rey, I-“they both spoke simultaneously, stopping abruptly to let the other continue. Ben gestured for Rey to go first.

“Listen, I’m sorry that I shouted at you the way I did. It was really…unprofessional of me and I shouldn’t have done it,” Rey said quietly, “And…you’re right, I’m not working as well as I probably could. Should,” She wandered to the chair in front of the desk, taking a seat.

“Look, I’m sorry too. Not completely for what I said but it came out all wrong and I can admit, I was kind of a dick. When Amilyn said you were jumping in on the project, a project that I’d already done so much work for, I was pretty pissed about it,”

“Because it was me?” Rey questioned, hurt coloring her words. Ben shook his head vehemently.

“No! I would have been just as angry if it had been anyone,” he exclaimed, “I’d worked really hard on it. I hated the idea of someone just jumping in and taking half the credit. I am sorry for shouting at you,”

“It’s…fine,” Rey smiled softly, “I ended up doing a lot of thinking last night and, you are right, I’m just going through the motions here. Guess I didn’t realize how that would affect everyone else,” Ben leaned forward on his desk, a curious glint in his eye.

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why do you think you’re just going through the motions? I thought you loved being an engineer?”

“I do!” Rey insisted, “Really, I do! I still look at some buildings in total awe, thinking about how they’re put together and designed but, when I graduated…sitting at a desk all the time running numbers wasn’t really how I imagined I’d be spending a lot of my time,” Ben nodded thoughtfully.

“I can understand that,” he said, “You know I’d much rather be designing and drawing than pitching plans to stuffed up suits. I’m afraid it’s just part of the job,” he sighed.

“Was Amilyn mad? I guess I’ll have to go and speak to her myself…”

“About what?”

“About the presentation? I walked out…” Ben shook his head once more.

“I didn’t tell her anything,” he said kindly, “I wanted to at the time, but I didn’t. She doesn’t need to know,”

“Thank you,” Rey said sincerely. Ben shrugged.

“I figured that would have a been a dick move too far on my part,” he smiled, “Truce?” he asked, holding out his hand. Rey smiled.

“Truce,” she agreed, the two shaking on their new peaceful status, “It’s a shame. We’re probably going to disappoint a lot of people out there waiting for another shouting match!”

“Fuck them,” Ben drawled, the smirk on his face causing dimples that Rey couldn’t tear her eyes from, “Tell you what, I’ve got a few things I need to wrap up this morning. Why don’t we go through this presentation after lunch?”

“Oh, yeah!” Rey said quickly, shaking herself from her stupor, “Sure. That sounds good. Great. I have things I should be doing too,” she muttered, standing up and smoothing her skirt. Upon opening the door, she was met with her co-workers, each staring back at her like startled rabbits.

“Don’t you all have something better to do?!”

00000

_Rey,_

_Can you come to my office, please?_

_Amilyn Holdo_

Rey’s stomach sank.

This was it. For all Ben had told her he hadn’t mentioned their fight or that she’d walked out of their project, the office was like a playground and Chinese whispers reached every ear eventually. She sucked in a breath, pushing away from her desk to begin the walk toward her boss’s office.

It was like walking towards the chopping block.

Surely it would be fine? They’d worked things out on their own, as adults, and really their fight had lasted no longer than a day. It hadn’t interfered with her work, or Ben’s as far as she was aware. So why did she still have the feeling of guilt and impending doom?

“Rey, hello! Please come on in and take a seat,” Amilyn smiled, the gesture warm and disarming. Rey timidly sat down.

“What can I do for you, Amilyn?”

“Well, I’ve been looking over your work…”

_Oh shit. Oh shit. OH SHIT._

“And it’s excellent. Really, it’s very good considering how I know you feel about it,”

“I enjoy my work, really I do…” Rey began to protest but Amilyn shook her head.

“Rey, you don’t need to stand on ceremony with me. I know that going through those numbers all day and just looking at blueprints and CAD must be dry as hell! Some engineers love it, some don’t. It’s not a fault that you don’t enjoy that element as much,”

“But I _do_ know that it’s vital!” Rey interjected, trying to show enthusiasm for her role.

“That’s good,” Amilyn said, “It’s been brought to my attention that perhaps we’re using your talents all wrong. I don’t think you’re made for this kind of desk work, Rey,”

_SHIT_

“Amilyn, please, I do love my job. I do! I’ll put in some overtime, I’ll get those numbers to you faster just…I don’t want to lose my job!” Rey pleaded, her eyes wide. Amilyn blinked at her in astonishment.

“What? Rey, no. You’re not being fired!” she confirmed, almost laughing, “Quite the opposite! How would you feel about being one of our on-site project managers?”

“I…what?!”

“We have various projects in the works at different stages and we need engineers to visit sites and ensure that those specs are being followed,” Amilyn continued, “You’ll get to work out of the office multiple days a week, speak to the contractors and work as our on-site contact for our clients,”

A laugh bubbled up from her chest, incredulous and relieved all at once.

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Rey gasped, “I’d love to. Yes, that sounds amazing!”

“Great! We’ll get you started next week after the company retreat,” Amilyn beamed, “Are you looking forward to it?”

“The retreat?” Rey asked, “Um, yeah…it’s going to be something alright!”

“I think it’s going to be a lot of fun! Get yourself back to work, if you can wrap up as much as you can before Friday, anything you don’t finish we’ll distribute to Rose, Poe and Kaydel,”

“Thank you so much Amilyn,” Rey gushed, “Really, thank you!” She stood with a bright smile lighting up her face to head towards the door.

“Don’t just thank me,” Amilyn said, “Thank Ben,” Rey stopped, spinning back towards where her boss sat.

“Wait, what?”

“I said you can thank Ben,” the woman elaborated, “He was the one who suggested this for you,”

“Ben? Ben Solo suggested me for the on-site manager position?” Amilyn nodded.

“He did. You two obviously worked quite well together!” she smiled, “He was very enthusiastic,”

“Oh…oh that’s awesome,” Rey stammered, “I’ll thank him as well then,”

_Jesus fucking Christ…_

00000

_< Lightbeam> It wasn’t a real date. _

_< Lightbeam> I just turned up after work and he was there. I didn’t even stay for longer than 10 minutes._

_< Lightbeam> I don’t understand why you’re mad at me…_

Part one of his plan had gone smoothly.

He’d apologized to Rey, they’d spoken and for once he came away from a face to face interaction not feeling like a complete fuck up. When she’d told him of her frustration with the job, he’d done something selfless. He’d gone to Amilyn and suggested that Rey was too talented and passionate to be stuck at a desk all day. It had taken a little convincing but Amilyn had eventually agreed. His work life was, for the moment, going to be less tenuous but any relief he’d felt was soon erased logging back on to discord to find missed messages Kira.

_You, Ben Solo, are an asshole…_

She’d tried to tell him about her own shitty day and instead of empathizing, because he knew exactly how she was feeling, he’d taken her words, twisted them in his own head and let petty jealously rule his actions.

Like a teenager having a bitch fit, he rage quit.

The little green dot next to her name told him she was online.

_< Kyl0R3n> Hey_

_< Lightbeam> Hey_

_< Kyl0R3n> So hows you?_

_< Lightbeam> Really? That’s how you’re starting this?_

Ben winced at the screen. She was still upset and really, he couldn’t blame her.

_< Kyl0R3n> I’m really sorry about before. I was having a really shitty day myself and I took my bad mood out on you. You didn’t do anything wrong, I shouldn’t have done that._

_< Lightbeam> No, you shouldn’t have._

Ben frowned, waiting to see if she elaborated or lightened up, noticing that she was still typing.

_< Lightbeam> But thank you for apologizing. It really wasn’t a date. As I said, I turned up at my friend’s bar and he’d just invited this guy. I was there for minutes, finished a beer and came straight home._

_< Kyl0R3n> I know, I’m sorry that sounds like it sucked too._

_< Lightbeam> It did. Can I ask something?_

_< Kyl0R3n> Shoot_

_< Lightbeam> Were you jealous?_

He could easily have lied, just say that he was having a bad day and it manifested itself in a weird way. It would get him nowhere. He didn’t want to be stuck in this weird friendship limbo forever, not with her.

_< Kyl0R3n> You know what, yes. I was jealous. I love talking to you and I was so disappointed when we couldn’t voice chat. I want to be respectful and I know you’re trying to be careful but…I want to meet you._

_< Kyl0R3n> Do you want to meet me?_

_Lightbeam is typing…_

He held his breath watching the screen for a response. If she said no, he’d have to respect her decision but would be stuck wondering ‘what if’. If she said yes, however, then finally, _finally_ whatever they were could progress.

_< Lightbeam> I do._

_< Lightbeam> When?_

_< Kyl0R3n> How about tomorrow night?_

_< Lightbeam> Tomorrow night it is :) <3_


	7. Free Curly Fries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello?” Finn’s voice cracked on the end of the line, “Rey?”
> 
> “Finn! I did it, I made a date with Kylo!” She squealed, ignoring the groan she heard.
> 
> “Rey, peanut, what is my job?” 
> 
> “You’re a bartender…”
> 
> “Manager, but yes. What time do bars close?” He continued.
> 
> “Late?”
> 
> “Damn late. Girl, it is six in the morning. Have you lost your fucking mind?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments. I WILL be replying to you all in the coming days. You make the effort to comment, I'll make the effort to reply to you!  
> I'd like to update this as often as I can but I do have exams coming up this week and in the following weeks so I can't promise a schedule. 
> 
> For those who did ask, I'm not on twitter. I'm on Tumblr as Polkadotdotdotreylo and I'm also still a member of The Writing Den discord group.
> 
> PD3 xx

[ ](https://imgur.com/IWG9xVg)

Holy shit.

Rey had paced her living room ever since she’d agreed to meet with him, darting back to her keyboard to reply to his messages. By the time they’d said goodnight, she’d been so hyped up that she’d run laps around her coffee table, almost tripping over her own feet in haste.

Sleep was impossible. She simply lay awake, fidgeting with her hands, her feet twitching while she tried to do something with her excess energy.

In a way, it was merciful that he seemed to be just as impatient as she was. Meeting in less than 24 hours’ meant she had no time to panic, to overthink or worse, back out.

No, she couldn’t. There was too much at stake and the thought made her gut twist painfully. If she backed out now, there would never be another chance. The moment she opened her eyes and remembered exactly what she’d agreed to, a pang of anxiety hit, pressure lying on her chest like a boulder.

Bounding out of bed, her skin tingling with excitement, she grabbed her phone.

“Hello?” Finn’s voice cracked on the end of the line, “Rey?”

“Finn! I did it, I made a date with Kylo!” She squealed, ignoring the groan she heard.

“Rey, peanut, what is my job?”

“You’re a bartender…”

“Manager, but yes. What time do bars close?” He continued.

“Late?”

“ _Damn_ late. Girl, it is six in the morning. Have you lost your fucking mind?” Finn snapped grumpily.

Rey couldn’t care. Her mind was buzzing with all the possibilities that her evening was going to offer. Would he be average height or taller? Fair or dark? He’d told her he’d been raised in Connecticut, so would his accent be soft or would his time living in New York have added a twang to his speech?

“Alright. I know, sorry, but I’m just _too_ pent up. I had to tell someone!” she gushed, hopping around her room and grabbing an office appropriate outfit.

“I can hear that,” Finn grumbled, “So, what’s the plan then?”

“We’re meeting at eight. I told him I’d be the brunette wearing the green dress…”

“Which green dress?” Finn questioned. Rey stopped moving around the room.

“The skater dress? The one with the scoop neck and cap sleeves?” she elaborated, “What? Is that wrong?”

“Only if you want to look like a giant cucumber…”

“Finn!”

“I’m kidding! The green dress will be fine, just make sure you wear that studded waist belt with it,” He said casually.

“Anyway, we’re meeting at eight…at your place,” Down the line, she could hear Finn sit up, suddenly awake and interested.

“Oh ho ho! So, _I’m_ going to get to meet him too. Things just got interesting!” she could hear the Cheshire cat grin in his voice. Grabbing a clean towel, she made her way towards her bathroom.

“Alright, I need to get into a shower or I’m going to be late but please, _please_ , behave yourself tonight? You owe me after the Snap thing!”

“I brought you a pastry…”

“Not the same!” Rey scolded, “Tonight is really important to me,”

“Say no more peanut. Go, get into your shower, get to work and I will take care of everything!”

Rey said her goodbye, throwing her phone on the bed to go and wash, dreading the meaning behind her friend’s ominous promise.

00000

“Rey?!”

The incredulous voice calling her name made her skid to an awkward halt, teetering on her heels as she tried to find her balance. Poe was staring at her, the exaggerated shock on his face causing his eyes to bulge like a startled lemur.

“Yes?” She asked impatiently, sipping her takeaway coffee. Poe looked at his watch, being sure to pause for dramatic effect.

“Sorry, I just barely recognized you at the office…on time,”

“Haha, very funny. I’m late a lot, I know…”

“A lot? Rose posts to Instagram _a lot_. Kaydel goes shopping _a lot_. You, I genuinely believe, may have never been on time once…”

“Well today I am,” Rey rolled her eyes, “I fully expect my trophy to be on my desk by lunchtime!”

“Oh, someone is sassy today. Look at you all early and awake,” Poe teased, following her to her desk, “Come on, spill. What’s new in the land of Rey? Big loot drops on your raids last night?”

“And look at you, speaking the MMO lingo,” she replied, sitting down and booting up her computer, “No, actually, I just have some plans tonight that I’m excited for. That’s all,” Poe’s eyes lit up.

“Like a date?” he asked enthusiastically, “You have a date with an actual human being? I am so proud of you! With who?” Rey wrinkled her nose, reluctant to tell Poe the truth to save herself from the mockery he was sure to give her.

“Just…a guy. It’s a blind date, actually,” she mumbled, keeping her eyes on the screen as she opened her emails.

“A set-up? A friend of a friend deal?” he probed, “Tinder? Oh man, tell me it’s not a Tinder date! Rey, honey, you are not made for Tinder…”

“It’s not Tinder!” she hissed, “It’s not online dating at all,” Realisation ghosted over Poe’s features.

“Rey, is this date someone you met through that game?” her silence was all he needed, “Jesus fucking Christ…”

“What?! Plenty of people meet through online gaming,”

“And plenty of those people end up as news stories. By this time tomorrow we’ll have candles and tribute flowers all over your desk,” Poe smirked, “What’s the bet this dude is actually a catfish?”

“He isn’t a catfish!” Rey protested, hoping that her defense sounded stronger than it felt. The little voice in the back of her head had been telling her the same thing and hearing it spoken out loud by someone she knew made her feel uncomfortable.

“Where are you meeting?”

“At Barcade,” Poe nodded thoughtfully.

“Barcade? Where Finn works? Cute Finn?” he asked, “Is he still single by the way?”

“Yes, is he and yes, that’s the place,”

“Great, I will see you there!” Poe declared, turning to saunter back towards his desk. Rey shook her head, standing to quickly pursue.

“Wait, what? No. No, no, no!” Rey retorted, “I do _not_ need another chaperone!” Poe sat himself down at his desk, smiling smugly.

“You don’t know who this person is and every little can help,” he said patiently, “Besides, don’t flatter yourself so much. I’m mainly going for the excuse to see that tall mug of hot chocolate…”

“Please never call him that again…”

“The fact we can watch out for you too is just a nice little added bonus,” he finished, leaning back in his chair, twirling a pencil absently between his fingers.

The ding of the elevator bell preceded the doors sliding open. Rose stepped out, her eyes still slightly blearily from the early hour. She froze upon seeing Rey, her brows furrowing as if she was trying to solve a puzzle.

“Rey? What time is it? Am I late?!”

“Oh, for crying out loud…”

00000

Work had been nothing more than a blur for the rest of the day.

Most of Rey’s time had been spent staring at the clock, willing the hands to move onwards, while tactfully avoiding all of Poe and Rose’s probing questions about her plans for the evening. When the clock had finally hit 5 pm, she had moved so quickly her chair was still spinning as the elevator opened.

_This is fine. This is totally fine. It’s just a date…with Kylo…_

The mantra repeated over in her head as she walked towards Barcade, her tall brown leather boots echoing on the pavement. She’d spent a painstaking amount of time on her makeup and hair, cursing that she hadn’t taken a half day. Not that it would have mattered. It would only have resulted in more time to worry and nit pick at herself.

Pushing her way into the bar, she immediately clocked Poe standing with Finn.

“There she is!” Finn said, “No green dress?” he asked, taking in her black shorts and red plaid shirt combo. Rey frowned.

“No, because you freaked me out about it!” she replied testily, “I ended up changing everything,”

“Shame. I like that dress,”

“You said it made me look like a cucumber!”

“I didn’t _mean_ it…”

“Ignore him, Rey,” Poe cut in, “You look great. You’ve got that…casual, carefree thing going on. It suits you!”

“Thank you,” she smiled, “I’m a little early. Guess I should go and grab a table before he gets here,”

“Say no more Peanut. I told you I’d have things taken care of,” Finn declared, rushing to step out from behind the bar. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, ushering her towards the window seats.

The table he’d set up was next to some of the best arcade machines, X-Men and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles casting a neon glow to the darkened spot. Around the reserved sign, Finn had already set up lit candles in colorful mason jars.

“Finn, you didn’t have to do that,” Rey said, sitting down. Her friend shrugged.

“This means something to do. I’m not going to pretend that I totally get it, but I want to help,” he said sincerely, “When your dude arrives, I’ve got the kitchen ready to make you some bar snacks on the house,”

“Thank you,” Rey sniffed, throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hug, “You’re the best,”

“I know. I’m wonderful,” he grinned, “Now, take a seat, I’ll get one of my servers to bring your drink. Does he know what to look for?”

“Yeah, I told him I changed my outfit, so I’ll be in the red checked shirt and brown leather boots,” she confirmed.

Finn nodded happily, leaving Rey alone to take her seat. Anxiously, she drummed her fingers against the sticker-covered table.

There was nothing left to do but wait.

00000

_Red checked shirt. Brown boots. Brunette._

He knew he should have taken a half day.

Ben had spent the majority of his time hidden away in his office, pacing anxiously as his traitorous mind ran through all the scenarios that could derail his night.

The first, and most obvious, was that he’d turn up and she simply wouldn’t be there. He’d be left waiting at some hipster bar in Brooklyn for a person who didn’t exist. Second, someone _would_ be there, but they wouldn’t be anything like their description. When he put any thought into it, given the options, he decided if the worst were to happen, he’d have preferred the catfish.

At least that way he wouldn’t be left wondering.

The third thought was that they would meet. They’d meet, she’d be perfectly lovely, and nothing would happen. He’d suddenly realize that the connection he’d built up in his head was exactly that. Imaginary.

Really, none of the scenarios were ideal, but Ben Solo had never been accused of being an optimist.

When he’d finally arrived home to prepare, his nerves were only made worse. While standing in front of his bedroom mirror, trying to decide between a long-sleeved tee and a sweater, his phone rang.

“Hey, Mom,”

“Ben, it’s your Mother!”

“I know, your name flashes up on the screen,” he replied dryly, “What can I do for you?”

“I’m just calling to see if you’re coming over for Friday night dinner?” she asked. In spite of his nerves about his evening, Ben smiled. Ever since his parents had moved to Long Island, Leia called to ask about Friday dinners, knowing that his answer was generally ‘no’.

“I can’t Mom. Going to that work retreat thing tomorrow for the weekend, remember?” he said, throwing the sweater on the bed and deciding on the grey long sleeve. He could hear her sigh over the line.

“Can’t blame a Mom for trying!” she tutted, “What are you doing? You sound distracted,”

“I’m getting ready to go out,” he said shortly.

“Out where? Benjamin, are you going on a date?” Leia probed, “Is she nice? It is a she…I don’t mind if it’s a he! Ben, you know your Father and I love you no matter who you…”

“Mom! It’s…it’s just a drink with a friend, alright?” He dismissed. Some things with his Mother were better discussed in person and he didn’t have the time, nor the patience to begin explaining the basics of online gaming.

“Fine. Don’t tell me. You know I’ll find out eventually,” Leia sighed dramatically, “But if it is a date, be sure to bring something nice,”

“What? Like, what?” Ben asked cautiously, pausing his actions.

_If she says engagement ring, I swear to God…_

“Ben! I raised you better than that,” Leia scolded, “Flowers or something. A little token to put a smile on their face!”

“Right,” Ben deadpanned, “Listen, Mom, I have to go, I’m going to be late,” he muttered. While the advice was well-meaning, the idea of turning up with flowers had him feeling a little queasy.

“Fine, fine. Just remember to be safe! You people today swap partners more than square dancers…”

“Bye, Mom!”

_Good Lord…_

There was nothing like a conversation with Leia Organa to set you up for meeting the girl you’d been talking to online for months.

Checking his appearance one last time, Ben groaned, messing with his already disheveled waves. This was him. A tall, nerdy architect who liked to spend his time indoors playing fantasy games. If she didn’t like that then there was nothing else he could do.

There was a Barcade in Manhattan, closer to his apartment but she’d chosen the one in Brooklyn. He guessed that’s because it was closer to her, briefly recalling something about her friend working behind the bar. Smart girl. Meeting someone from the internet in a place she’d have people to look out for her.

Heading towards the subway, Ben made his way to Brooklyn.

00000

_< Kyl0R3n> Leaving now. Shouldn’t be too long :)_

_< Lightbeam> Looking forward to it! I’m sitting at the front, near the X-Men machines!_

She smiled at her phone, putting it down on the table to resume her apprehensive waiting. Given the time and where he was coming from, there was a chance he wouldn’t get there exactly for eight. It wasn’t that she hoped he’d be right on time, but every minute he wasn’t there made her far more likely to drink out of nerves and the last thing she wanted was to be wasted when he finally arrived.

Poe wandered over to her table.

“Excited?” Poe asked. Rey nodded, her hand shaking slightly as she picked up her beer bottle.

“Yeah. Totally. He just messaged me there, said he’s on his way,”

“Cool. If you need me or Finn, we’ll be right over at the bar okay?” Rey nodded again, unsure what else to say or do. The label on her bottle had been picked to ribbons, her knee absently bouncing as the only outlet for her energy.

She glanced down at her phone.

7:58 pm

00000

His heart fluttering in his chest added to his discomfort as he left the subway station.

Nerves were something he’d never really dealt well with. Combined with his awkwardness for most social gatherings, it tended to cause the unfortunate mixture of ineloquence and rudeness. Neither of those things was the impression he wanted to give to Kira.

Reaching Barcade, he stopped. The large print over the window hid the majority of the inside but between the design, he could just about make out someone sitting near the window, the red check of her shirt bright in the neon light of the machines.

It was her.

She seemed preoccupied, staring down at her phone, her long brunette hair spilling over her shoulders in an all too familiar way. Ben squinted, pushing his face against the glass, hoping that the transfer design shielded him. To anyone on the street, he looked like a crazy person. Something stirred in his gut, an intuition too strong to ignore.

It was definitely her. The dark hair, the red shirt, the brown boots, but he’d seen that body before. More than once, he’d seen the way she sat on a chair or propped her head on her hand. Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him. He couldn’t be sure until he saw her face.

“Come on. Look up…”

She did. Sitting back in her chair, she flicked her hair away from her face, looking up at her surroundings. The lights of the bar illuminated her cheekbones, her teeth tugging at her glossed lips while her fingers tapped a rhythm on the table.

_Holy shit…_

As if he’d been burned, Ben stumbled back from the window, hiding from sight.

 It was Rey.

Kira was Rey and she was waiting for him inside. Leaning against the wall, Ben buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes and wondering how the universe had managed to set him up with such a cruel punchline.

His mouth hung agape, mind spinning as he tried to process it all. For months he’d been talking to Kira about his job, complaining about his job _and_ _her_ , to herself. They’d both been so cautious about the dangers of giving away private information online that they’d unwittingly found themselves in such an unlikely situation.

_Think Ben, THINK…_

He could go inside, pretend he just happened to be in the area and, oh look, there’s Rey. Or perhaps he could face the music, and they’d just have to deal with it all. Like a highlight reel, memories of all their interactions over the years flicked by in his head, of how short he’d been with her, how rude and sometimes, just how much of a straight up asshole he’d been. Social anxieties or otherwise, that excuse was only going to get him so far.

They’d only just begun to build a companionable working relationship. One crack, and it would crumble.

Ben shook his head in panic, pushing himself from the wall. Kylo wasn’t real. He could slink away and become just another story, a tale she’d eventually laugh about with her friends.

Ignoring the vice grip wrapping around his chest and the thick lump in his throat, Ben headed back towards the subway.

00000

“Another beer, peanut?” Finn asked, approaching her table and lifting the empty bottle. His voice was laced with sympathy that Rey resented, “I could get you some more curly fries?”

“No, thanks,” she muttered, checking the time on her phone.

11 pm.

“There’s still time,” Finn suggested, “Maybe he got held up somewhere? Subway can be lousy,” Rey shrugged.

“3 hours?” she sighed, “Or maybe you were right all along,” her chair scraped loudly on the floor as she stood. The bar was almost empty an hour from closing time.

“Rey, I’m sorry. I know you were really into this,” Rey forced a smile.

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbled, “Guess I’ll just need to focus on the real world,”

“Well, hey, Poe and I are going to go out once I close up. There’s that dessert place a few blocks down that’s open until 4! You could come with us? Cake makes everything better,” he said kindly. Rey shook her head, pulling on her jacket.

“And be a third wheel on someone else’s date? No, thank you. One of us should have a good night, right?” Finn put down his tray, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“If you’re sure,” he said reluctantly, “Message me when you get home, let me know you’re safe,”

“I will,” she agreed, heading out the main door into the cool New York night.

This was fine. This was nothing more than what she’d really expected. So then why did her eyes sting with the threat of tears? Why did her chest hurt so much? Pulling out her phone, the bite was all the more acute seeing that he hadn’t tried to contact her.

_< Lightbeam> Did I do something wrong?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KEEP THE FAITH. DO NOT PANIC.


	8. Room Buddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright, your room numbers are on these pieces of paper. In the spirit of team building, everyone will draw a number out of the hat and the person with the same number is your room buddy for the weekend. No switching!”
> 
> There was a collective groan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't intend to get this up as quickly as this...but after I updated last night I rattled this chapter out! I hope you enjoy!

[ ](https://imgur.com/6nUBjyC)

Hell was a bus.

Specifically, a coach that trundled along the highway full of his co-workers. They’d been picked up at an ungodly hour of the morning and packed into the bus, ready for their five-hour drive to Vermont. Ben had immediately moved to the back of the bus, watching keenly as Rey sat five rows down from him.

Hell was being trapped on a bus with the girl you’d been talking to online and had stood up when you’d discovered she was actually your co-worker.

It was a very specific situation that Google had been no help with.

The road rumbled under the wheels as they drove. Some people were reading, others had given up and gone to sleep after a rousing chorus of ‘The Wheels on the Bus’. Ben was leaning forward, the bridge of his nose pressed against the seat in front of him, his eyes peeking over the headrest, fingers curling around the cheap upholstery.

In front, a few rows down on the opposite side, he could just make out Rey, her feet propped up on the seat in front, her eyes fixed on her phone. Ben’s jaw worked as he thought, his mouth mushing together with the discomfort he felt. He’d been staring at her since she’d appeared in front of their office building, dark circles under her eyes.

She looked so sad.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Slowly, Ben’s head turned. Hux was staring at him across the aisle, completely bewildered, his ginger tinted eyebrow arched. Ben pushed himself back into his seat, blinking back at Hux with wide eyes.

“Nothing,” he answered quickly, “Uh. I get travel sickness. Leaning forward like that helps,”

“Uh…huh,” Hux replied slowly, still looking unconvinced, “Well at least they’ve stopped bloody singing. If I had to listen to another round of Dameron butchering ‘living on a prayer’ I’d have thrown myself out of the emergency exit,”

“Wasn’t that bad. It was a nice change from the Mickey Mouse march!” Ben sniggered. Hux rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, you’d expect more from engineers,” he drawled, “Acting like children,”

“Lighten up, Armitage. They’re just trying to make a crappy situation a little more fun,” Ben said with a shrug.

“Be that as it may, did they have to start so early? At least wait until we reach the retreat and we get to the free bar!” he reasoned. Ben nodded, given the situation he found himself in, a bar, free or otherwise, sounded like heaven.

He’d paced his apartment. He’d sat in shock. He’d logged on and off and off and on, not knowing what his next steps were. His frazzled mind had reasoned that by just not showing up and remaining silent, he was giving her a clean break. Once he’d began to think a little straighter, he began to wonder how he’d have felt.

Hadn’t he reasoned he’d rather know than not?

But every minute, every hour that passed was making it harder to respond, to give a reason that didn’t sound, well, lame.

Every excuse he could think of would have been a delay in a meeting, not a cutoff. He’d have to tell her that he just didn’t want to meet anymore and if she looked sad now, he dreaded to think how miserable she would look facing that kind of rejection. In his pocket, his phone buzzed.

_< Lightbeam> Look, I hope you’re alright and that nothing happened to you. Can you at least let me know you’re okay?_

Ben pocketed his phone, groaning as he buried his face in the headrest in front.

00000

She’d heard nothing.

Eventually, she’d fallen into bed, her eyes heavy and sore from continually staring at her phone screen. She’d sent him multiple messages, checked the subway status, searched the news for any hint of an accident or delays. Any reason that Kylo hadn’t made it.

By 2 am, she’d concluded with tears in her eyes that he’d simply changed his mind. On barely 3 hours sleep, she’d boarded the bus with her co-workers, too exhausted to be annoyed that Ben was back to pretending she didn’t exist.

_He’s not the only one…_

Trying to sleep was futile, stretching herself across the two seats, the window edge digging into her back despite her travel pillow. Poe appeared in the aisle, picking up her feet to sit himself down, draping her legs back across his lap. Rey stared at him from her place, still leaning against the seat.

“How are you doing, Rey-Rey?” Poe asked sympathetically. Rey snorted.

“Fine,” she huffed, “Just peachy,”

“Do you need me to sing again? I have more Bon Jovi where that came from…”

“As much as I’d love to see you annoy the shit out of Hux, no, thank you,” she sighed, stretching her aching shoulder muscles, “How far away are we?” she asked, glancing out the window as they passed trees glowing amber and red in the early afternoon sun.

“Not far now!” Poe grinned, “Shouldn’t be long before we can get into our rooms and chill before two days of _team building_ ,” he sniggered.

“Can’t wait,” Rey drawled, “I just want a soft bed and a decent night sleep,”

“Still stinging over last night?” Rey sat up, her brows knitting as she thought.

“I just…I don’t get it!” she said, “He told me he was on his way, he’d given me no sign that he wasn’t interested and suddenly I just hear nothing? I just…it sucks,”

“Aw sweetie,” Poe cooed, stroking her hair, “Are you worried he came in, saw you and left?” Rey glared at him, swatting his hand away as he giggled, “I’m kidding! Come on, I’m just trying to make you laugh,”

“I know,” she grumbled, “Did you have fun with Finn last night then?” Poe shot her a smug smile.

“Well, you know me, I’m not one to kiss and tell,” he purred, “But we totally did stuff…”

“Gross, please don’t elaborate…”

“Butt stuff…”

“Poe!” she groaned loudly, burying her face in her hands, “I have to work with you and Finn is my best friend. That’s enough out of you!”

The bus began to slow, people beginning to stir with interest, all looking out the windows to gain a better look at the location of their stay. Amilyn stood up at the front of the bus.

“Alright everybody, we’re here!” she announced, “Grab your things and we’ll all get checked it!”

Chatter and activity filled the bus, groans of people standing for the first time in hours resonating as they began to file out into the fresh Vermont air.

“Man, I cannot wait to get my ass to that bar!” Poe said, grabbing his bag from the hold under the bus.

“You know Dameron, I think that’s the first thing we’ve agreed on in years,” Gwen smirked, accepting her suitcase from Mitaka.

“Oh, come on Gwen, there was that time we both hated on the Rangers?” He winked, the blonde woman rolling her eyes in good nature.

“Well, I hope you mean for a juice, Poe. Serenity Lodge is a dry retreat,” Amilyn said, her employees all stopping dead in their tracks.

“What?”

“No way,”

“You have _got_ to be kidding?”

“I knew I should have packed that emergency wine…”

Amilyn frowned.

“Hey! Need I remind you all that the purpose of this trip is to get you all to bond in a _healthy_ manner!” she scolded, “That means no booze and open communication,”

“I dunno, I feel pretty communicative after a margarita or two,” Rose grumbled.

The building itself was beautiful. White stone and natural wood came together among the autumn trees by the edge of a huge lake, the afternoon sun shimmering on the water.

“Well, if this doesn’t look like a God damn postcard…” Rose said, taking in the natural beauty around her.

“Or a fancy rehab facility,” Poe sniggered. The group made their way into the building, scents of apple and jasmine saturating the environment as panpipes played. Behind the reception desk, a polite young woman with braided back hair smiled serenely at Amilyn, their boss beginning the process of booking in her group.

From the back of the pack, Ben watched Rey as she wandered, her pack slung over her shoulder.

_Should I say something? I should. I should say something. She doesn’t know I’m Kylo…I’m Ben. Ben says things…_

Before he could move to her side, Amilyn spoke again.

“Alright, your room numbers are on these pieces of paper. In the spirit of team building, everyone will draw a number out of the hat and the person with the same number is your room buddy for the weekend. _No switching_!”

There was a collective groan.

One by one they marched up, selecting a scrap of paper. Rey unfurled her paper to reveal room 12 as everyone had broken off into smaller groups. Suddenly Rose was by her side.

“What do you have?” she asked quickly.

“Room 12. You?”

“16,” Rose answered, “Switch with me!”

“What? Why?”

“Because _you know who_ also got room 12 and I want to be his room buddy if you catch my drift!” Rose insisted, nodding her head towards Hux. Rey rolled her eyes.

“Well, who are you sharing with?”

“Does it matter?” Rose fired back, “I _know_ you don’t want to share with Hux, but _I_ do. It’s a win-win for both of us!”

“Fine,” Rey relented, swapping the paper, “Don’t say I never did anything for you and for the love of God, will you learn to be subtle! You’re practically humping the air like a dog,” Rey hissed, Rose grinning from ear to ear.

Rey grabbed her key, ushering Rose towards the direction of the rooms. The corridors were just as lovely as the rest of the place, white and oak, serene and bright. Rose stopped at her door, wiggling her eyebrows towards Rey.

“Don’t wait up!”

“You know we need to be down at the welcome event in an hour, right?” Rose snorted.

“An hour is plenty for some foreplay!”

“Gross. Have fun!” Rey called, continuing her walk towards her room, wondering who her weekend roommate was. Maybe she’d be lucky, and she’d be sharing with Kaydel, maybe even Poe. Sticking her key card in the lock, the green light shone to highlight the door was open. Awkwardly she pushed the heavy door, wandering into the spacious twin room.

There were two large double beds, a flat-screen TV, a dressing table.

And a topless Ben Solo.

“Oh!”

“Rey!”

His voice was as high as she’d ever heard it, his eyes comically wide as he stood crossing his arms over his bare torso as if it would do anything. All the moisture suddenly felt drained from her mouth, her tongue turning uncomfortably dry as she stared at him.

_Jesus take the wheel…_

Perhaps it was the shirts he wore around the office, maybe the shape of the sweaters, but had he always been _so_ large? Broad shoulders and toned arms met a strong chest, tapering down to a cut waist with just a hint of abs peaking through. Her eyes traveled downwards of their own accord, noticing a hint of the V-shape that was his Adonis belt slipping past his waistband.

“Uh, sorry. I didn’t know you were my roommate,” he stammered, clearing his throat awkwardly. Rey shook herself from her trance.

“Yeah, uh, should have been Rose but she wanted to trade with me so she should share with Hux,” Rey explained quickly, almost tripping over her own words, “I can…trade back if you…”

“No! No, it’s alright…” he assured, “I…if it’s alright…with you?”

“Yes! No problems,” she squeaked, feeling slightly unnerved at the way he was looking at her. His eyes were huge, dark pupils in a saucer of white like a panicked animal, “So, is this my bed?” she asked, pointing to the one closest. Ben nodded.

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead!” he gestured towards the bed, “Knock yourself out. I mean, don’t literally do that…I mean…”

“I get it,” Rey smiled, dropping her bag on the floor before throwing herself onto the fluffy mattress, “Do you have something, like a shirt you could put on?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ben chuckled gawkily, still very aware that he was half-naked in front of her, “I’m, uh, going to put on that shirt…” he said, gesturing to his bag.

Rey sat against the headboard, kicking her shoes off and pulling out her phone. Still no reply. Kylo hadn’t even logged on in almost 12 hours. She scowled at her screen, Ben rummaging through his bag.

_< Lightbeam> You know what? Fuck you. I was really worried something had happened to you and I was giving you the benefit of the doubt but you’re just a jerk!_

She pressed the send button harder than was really necessary, but it felt good. She was past feeling bad about herself for someone, now she was ready to get mad.

On the nightstand next to the other bed, Ben’s phone buzzed.

Rey raised a quizzical eyebrow at the strange coincidence. Having pulled on a fresh, black tee, Ben whirled around to see her typing on her phone.

_< Lightbeam> So I don’t need you! I’ll find another tank to PvP with. You weren’t that good anyway!_

Ben’s phone buzzed again, the man freezing as she stared at the device.

“That’s...weird,” she commented, “I just sent some messages to a…friend at the exact time your phone rang…twice,”

“Did you? That…that is very strange,” Ben stammered, “The cell signal here must be so screwed up…”

Quickly Rey typed another message.

_< Lightbeam> Test_

Ben’s phone buzzed, the vibration rumbling against the wood of the furniture. Ben darted towards his phone.

“I should _really_ answer this. Probably my Mom…she likes to worry…” he began to excuse but Rey was already on her feet, cornering him against the bed.

“Ben, may I please see your phone?”

_FUUUUCK NO._

“Why?” he asked timidly, knowing the answer. She held out her hand.

“I just want to confirm something,” she said, holding out her hand, “Please?”

“A phone is a very private thing, Rey,” he mumbled. She was already typing another message.

_< Lightbeam> Are you Ben Solo?_

The phone vibrated in his hand.

“Let me see the phone, Ben…”

“No!” he said holding the phone above his head out of her reach. Not to be outdone, Rey jumped onto the bed, the pair scrambling for supremacy.

“Ben Solo, let go of the phone!” Rey cried, a woman possessed as she desperately chased him around the room, throwing herself from the bed onto his body. His large frame barely stumbled with her weight, but the squeeze of her legs clamping around his diaphragm drove the wind out of him, his arm faltering and suddenly his phone was in her hand.

Still clinging to his body like a child in a jungle gym, held aloft from the floor, Rey read back her own messages.

“Oh my God…”

“I can explain…” he began, wondering if he could, in fact, explain this. Gracelessly, Rey clambered down from his body, throwing his phone on the bed.

“You can? Really? Go on then!” she snapped incredulously, “ _You_ are Kylo?” Ben nodded.

“I am,”

“That’s not your real name!”

“Well Kira isn’t your real name either,” Ben replied indignantly.

“It’s my _middle_ name and you can’t be too careful. Apparently, _anyone_ can be _anyone_ on the internet!” She shouted, “How long have you known? Oh my God, have you always known? Was this just some kind of sick prank to make me look like an idiot?”

“No!” Ben insisted, “It’s not like that alright…”

“Hold on, you’ve been complaining about your job for months online,” a dawning of realization fell over her face, her scowl darkening, “You were talking about me. The things you’ve called me, how fucking dare you!”

“Hey, I have never commented on anything other than your work performance and I _never_ named you!” He defended. Rey snorted, crossing her arms over her chest tightly.

“As if that makes it better!” she snapped, “You’ve been horrible to my face _and_ you were being horrible about me online,”

“You weren’t much better!” Ben snapped in retaliation, desperate in his need to fight back, “That asshole? Remember all the times you ranted about your asshole co-worker? Willing to bet that wasn’t about Rose!”

“You _were_ being an arsehole…”

“Well you were being lazy and entitled!” he snapped. Rey paused, her eyes darting as she sifted through her thoughts.

“Last night…did you know last night?” she asked quietly. Ben sighed, reluctantly nodding. Rey swallowed thickly, her eyes shining.

“And that’s why you didn’t show up? You did it on purpose…”

“It wasn’t like that…I turned up, I saw it was you and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked,” he said sincerely. Rey nodded.

“So, what? Were you ever going to tell me?” she asked, watching as he stood silently, his jaw working while he tried to find the words. His silence was the only answer she needed, “I get it,”

“I just…I thought it might have been easier if you thought he’d…I’d…just ghosted you,” he muttered. Rey closed her eyes, tears finally spilling over her lashes.

“Right. Of course,” she spat, hastily wiping her damp cheeks, “This is…insane,”

“I know, I know it is,” Ben said gently, “I felt the exact same way and I’m sorry…”

“No! You don’t get to be sorry,” She snapped, “You _ditched_ me! You’ve been treating me like dirt around the office for ages and I don’t know why! You’ve been complaining about me _to myself_ online for months and then instead of facing whatever the hell this is head on, you just…stood me up!”

“Well…when you list it like that it doesn’t sound great,” Ben winced. Rey openly growled, stomping over to grab her shoes.

“Fuck you, Ben Solo!” she shouted, storming from the room. The door slammed shut, pictures on the walls shaking with the force, leaving Ben alone in the middle of the room, a ringing in his ears.

_That…could have gone better…_

Ben groaned, rubbing his face with his hands.

They wouldn’t be leaving until Monday.


	9. Good Morning Campers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, there you are…you destroyed a table made of newspaper, are you proud of yourself?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for your comments and enthusiasm <3 You guys are awesome!

[](https://imgur.com/tRzYodq)

The moment his heartbeat had begun to regulate, the door swung open.

Ben watched dumbstruck as Rey stomped back into the hotel room, her face still slightly pink from shouting.

“Rey…”

“The only reason I am back in here right now is that I need my bag!” she snapped, “I need to shower so I don’t smell like bus and find something presentable to wear for this welcome thingy we have to go to. So, I am going to go into that bathroom,” she pointed towards the sizeable en suite, “and I don’t want to hear another word about this until I’ve had the chance to stand under some hot water. Got it?”

Ben nodded mutely, his face that of a perplexed puppy. Rey grabbed her bag, heading into the bathroom and locking the door behind her. Only when he began to hear the rushing of water did he relax, sitting down on the bed with a sigh.

It was a mess. The strangest, most improbable mess he could ever have imagined. How many times had he thought about her before _Kira_ had come into his life? Too many. Enough that he didn’t know how to relax around her, enough that instead of acting like a normal person he came across as, well, an asshole.

Then there was Kira. Easy to talk to, easy to get along with, great at games Kira. He shook his head sharply, annoyed at his own thoughts. Rey _was_ Kira. Like wishful thinking come to life in the most unfortunate way. He cringed thinking of the things he’d said to her, how dismissive and flippant he’d been about her.

Sure, she was disinterested in her position, but that didn’t give him a right to be so callous about her. Not that she’d been much better about him but now didn’t seem like the best moment to point that particular fact out.

Still, it had been him who had stood her up. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Ben groaned, flopping over on the bed and burying his face into the sheets.

“You _are_ an asshole, Solo,” he grumbled into the bed. Truthfully, he’d thought it a good idea only because it meant he wouldn’t have to confront the situation. So much for that theory. Now he was sharing a room for the weekend with the irate woman.

Huffing, he pushed himself to a sit, an imprint of his face smashed into the otherwise pristine sheets.

_How ‘dry’ is this place exactly…_

00000

The room hosting the welcome was spacious and bright. The polished wooden floors met the same pristine walls, potted plants and embroidered wall hangings adding color to the otherwise bland area. Bean bags and throw rugs seemed scattered in a haphazard manner, around a large water fountain in the center of the room. Above, a large stained-glass skylight illuminated the room while the bar was decorated with candles.

“I have the worst feeling ever about this,” Poe grumbled, his mouth a grim line as he surveyed the situation. Upon entering, someone in what looked to be a toga handed him a glass of green juice, “What is this?”

“It’s cucumber, kale, and lime. Very cleansing,” the woman replied, her voice light and airy. Poe grimaced.

“Just imagine it’s a mojito!” Rose suggested, sniffing the suspicious liquid. Slowly the group made themselves as comfortable as they could, Hux flailing inelegantly as he tried to sink into a bean bag.

“Hey, what’s wrong with Rey?” Rose whispered to Poe, “She looks like she just chewed a wasp,” Poe followed her gaze, seeing that Rose was correct. Rey’s brows were still furrowed darkly, her mouth an angry, puckered pout.

“Maybe she just drank some of this stuff,” Poe shrugged, staring back at the glass in disgust, “Urgh. It looks like pond water…”

“If I could have everyone’s attention!” a woman called from the bar, standing up on the small stage next to it. She wore a burgundy smock with long heavy beads around her neck, her long dreadlocked hair tied into two heavy braids. “Welcome to Serenity Lodge. We specialize in clearing the mind, cleansing the body and building bonds of friendship. My name is Ahsoka and I will be your soul guide during this enlightening journey,”

“Dick me dead and bury me pregnant,” Gwen whispered, “Is she taking the piss?”

Amilyn stood near the front of the group, blissfully unaware of the horrified faces her employees were making behind her.

“All the activities we have prepared for you are designed to be done in pairs, to bring you all together in friendship and comradery,”

“You know what makes me friendly? Tequila!” Poe sniggered, Kaydel and Rose giggling alongside him.

“Outside of these scheduled events you are free to go wherever you like. We would advise that town is quite far away however and for your best spiritual results, staying on the premises is best. During this time your food and drink are all provided for you,”

“Alright, free food at least!” Mitaka said optimistically. Ahsoka nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yes, we have wonderful chefs who only use the freshest of ingredients!” she gushed, “All your meals are formulated to rid your body of toxins, using no animal products,”

“Wait, what?” Hux piped up, “No animal products? Does that mean…”

“Yes, we operate a cruelty-free, vegan menu,” Ahsoka confirmed, “As you can see, a welcome buffet has already been prepared for you and tomorrow morning before breakfast we will begin with partnered Yoga. We hope you enjoy your stay here at Serenity Lodge,”

The smattering of polite applause was only just loud enough to cover the mumbles of protest.

“Amilyn, Boss, you know I’d never argue with your wisdom…but what is going on here?” Poe whined, “Are you punishing us? You’re punishing us aren’t you!”

“What? This place is great!” Amilyn insisted, becoming increasingly aware that her employees were beginning to circle her, various expressions on their faces, “We can really connect here!”

“I didn’t have you pegged for the new age type,” Gwen commented, “No alcohol, vegan food, yoga…didn’t I see you neck a martini along with those sliders at the office Christmas party?”

Amilyn stared back at her employees defiantly before she relented.

“Fine, the company got a Groupon!” she admitted, “But come on guys! We’re in a beautiful location, the trees are turning. Our situations are what we make of them, right? Let’s enjoy some nice food and some…fresh juice. I’m sure after a good night’s rest you’ll all start seeing the bright side of things!”

From the side, Ben watched Rey make her way towards the buffet. Amilyn was right, situations are what you made of them and it was up to him to make this situation right. He’d hurt her. He would fix it. She was inspecting some kind of vegetable kebab when he approached.

“Rey, I…”

“Ah ah ah, not one word or I’ll shove this environmentally friendly, locally sourced cocktail stick up your nostril!”

“Look, I’m trying to apologize,” Ben snapped, “I didn’t know it was you. How could I possibly? I’m sorry about the way I spoke about you…to you, even though I didn’t know it was you. Your work performance isn’t anything for me to discuss with…strangers…” he finished awkwardly.

“No, it isn’t,”

“But you weren’t exactly nice about me either!” He defended, “Ever thought there was a reason I was being an asshole about your job? Every time you were lazy or just going through the motions, it made my job ten times more difficult than it had to be!” Her face softened somewhat.

“I do get that,” she admitted, “and I’m sorry about that too, I was just frustrated, but that’s _not_ what I’m upset about,”

“Then what?” he asked.

“You stood me up!” she hissed, waving the vegetable kebab at him like a tiny, vegan sword, “You didn’t send me a message or anything! You just left me in there wondering what had happened and…and…”

“Rey! Ben!”

“Amilyn,” Ben greeted, forcing a smile on his face. The woman put her arms around their shoulders, pulling them all together in a small huddle.

“Guys, I’m going to level with you…I didn’t expect this and I’m going to have a full-scale riot on my hands,” she winced, “You two are my dream team, my aces, I’m going to need you two on my side here. Keep things positive about the place, get the guys spirits up. Can you do that?”

Rey fixed a wide smile on her face, her cheeks pinching with the effort.

“Of course, you can, no worries,” Rey promised, nudging Ben hard in the ribs.

“You can count on us, boss,” Ben followed. Amilyn smiled in relief.

“That’s my dream team!” she said, “I knew I could count on you two!”

As the older woman walked away, the forced smiles left their faces.

“As I was saying,” Rey growled, “You stood me up!”

“Well, you made me buy a headset only to change your mind at the last minute!” Ben replied. Rey gasped.

“My headset broke, I wasn’t lying and that’s _totally_ not the same thing!”

“I had to go out and buy a new one!” Ben exclaimed, “I had to go to Gamestop and the damn thing cost me $130!”

“Well, that’s your own damn fault for spending so much! I didn’t ask you to…”

“I wanted to talk to you!” he growled, “Look, I know I fucked up and this is really weird, but you’re not making this easy…”

“As easy as it would have been to walk into the fucking bar?!”

“You know what, you’re starting to piss me off. It’s like the Williamsburg proposal all over again…”

“HOW IS THIS AT ALL LIKE THE WILLIAMSBURG PROPOSAL?!”

From across the room Poe, Rose, Gwen, and Hux were standing by the juice bar, watching on.

“Wow, do you think they’re arguing about work?” Rose asked, glancing towards her co-workers.

“Either that or Rey is really passionate about those kebabs…”

00000

By the time Rey had returned to their room having spent the rest of the evening ranting to Rose and Poe, Ben was sleeping like the dead. She’d been careful not to mention the specifics. For all she was mad at him and hurt to boot, she felt for him enough to leave their co-workers out of it.

She tiptoed into the darkness of the room, hissing when her bare toe collided with the corner of her bed. Before she lay down, halfway under the covers, she watched him. He looked younger when he slept, his lashes twitching and his mouth hanging slightly agape. The omnipresent frown that made her face muscles ache softened.

It was what she’d imagined the whole time. The ‘what if’ and the ‘maybe’ that Kylo was Ben. Finn had laughed straight in her face, told her that it was impossible. Well now the impossible had happened and instead of laughing about the absurdity of it all, she was caught in her own turbulent thought process. Firmly lodged between the rock and the hard place that was infatuation and vexation.

Waking in the morning, Rey made sure she was up and out before he’d opened an eye.

The sun was still rising over the horizon of the lake, spreading a golden sparkle over the water. Dressed in her yoga pants and armed with a complimentary towel, Rey made her way towards the gardens and the large ‘meditation square’, as they called it. She supposed it was lovely, the place lined with greenery and life and surrounded by the ever-shifting tones of the forest, but it was hard to remain positive when her head was still swimming, and her stomach was rumbling.

It was so early that mist still lay over the glittering water, dew still dripping from the blades of grass.

She hadn’t even had coffee yet.

As the First Order employees congregated bleary-eyed, they were met by Ahsoka, her smock gone and replaced by baggy harem pants and a tank top.

“Good morning everyone!” she greeted, “I hope we are all light and refreshed after a good night’s rest. Welcome to bonding yoga. You will perform each position in a sequence with a partner, breathing as one, moving as one, providing balance and building further the bonds of friendship,”

Rey fought a giggle, glancing at the mixture of horrified expressions on her friend’s faces. Ben was standing at the back of the group, wondering if it was too late to head back inside without anyone noticing.

“Now, if you could please partner up with your roommate,” Ahsoka instructed.

For a moment nobody moved, except for Rose, who shamelessly bounded over to Hux like an excited puppy. The rest all shifted uneasily, eyes cast to the ground as they tried to avoid contact with one another.

“I’m sorry, this is going to be bloody weird,” Gwen moaned, eyeing Mitaka, “Look at the size difference!”

“Doesn’t stop you two doing anything else, am I right?” Poe quipped, wiggling his eyebrows, drawing a giggle from the rest.

“I’m going to leave your body in that lake Dameron, I swear…”

Amilyn looked towards Rey and Ben, her beseeched request from the right before coming to the forefront of Rey’s mind.

_Fuck. My. Life._

Like a man marching towards a death sentence, Ben shuffled towards Rey’s mat, the rest of the group following his lead.

“Excellent. Now we will begin with a simple sun salutation. Please stand back to back with your partner,”

This was fine. If she was back to back with him then at least she didn’t need to look at him and if she wasn’t looking at him, she didn’t have to admit that she was perhaps overreacting. Really it wasn’t any better. Wearing only a pair of yoga pants and a cropped black sports bra, she could feel the heat of his body radiating through the thin cotton of his tee shirt.

Closing her eyes, she followed Ahsoka’s instructions to take a deep breath and reach upwards with her arms, her nostrils invaded by the scent of cedarwood, coffee, and laundry detergent. It definitely wasn’t making her dizzy. Not at all.

“And exhale, hinging at the waist as you bend forward towards your toes…”

“This feels weird,” Poe called out, “Should we be standing butt to butt like this?”

“Poe!”

“I’m just saying…I’ve been in some weird positions…”

“And inhale, bringing yourself upright with your arms stretched overhead,” Ahsoka continued, her voice still floaty and light, “Now, as a pair, stand side by side,”

“That’s more like it,” Poe commented.

“Has your mood improved any since last night? Or am I still the bad guy here?” Ben asked quietly, his voice still rough from the early hour.

“And inhale, coming to all fours for cat arch and cat lift…”

“You’re going to make jokes about it? Really?” Rey mumbled, arching her back in time with the instructor. Ben followed, vaguely pretending to pay attention.

“I said I was sorry, I’m not exactly sure what else I can do to make it up to you!” he hissed, “I’m sorry that I talked badly about you, I didn’t _know_ it was you…God, I feel like a stuck record…”

“No, but you said those things because you thought I was a stranger,” Rey replied, curving her back the opposite way, “You made assumptions about me when you had no idea!”

“And now if everyone curls their toes under, inhale and push up into downward facing dog…”

“You did the exact same thing!” Ben replied, “In all the time we’ve worked together, have you ever once asked me about my life or tried to get to know me? No, you haven’t,”

“You’re not exactly the easiest guy to approach!” she excused pathetically. At the front of the meditation area, Ahsoka continued her routine.

“Now from downward down, lower gently into plank…and inhale into cobra…”

“and you still stood me up!” Rey reminded him, both lowering back onto the mat face first before stepping forward into a low lunge. Ben rolled his eyes.

“Still flogging that dead horse? Yes. I did and I’m _sorry_. I fucked up, I should have just gone into the stupid fucking bar…”

“Everybody inhale, twist and extend your arms forward for warrior one,”

“Then why didn’t you? That’s what I don’t understand…”

“And come back to standing, taking a deep inhale…”

“Because…because…” Ben stammered, “It doesn’t matter, it’s not like you’d believe me anyway,” he grunted. Rey’s hard gaze faltered.

“Why?”

“…it doesn’t matter,”

“but…”

“Namaste!” Ahsoka called, bowing delicately to the class, “Well done everyone, that concludes this class. Please go and enjoy your breakfast and we shall see you for another wonderful bonding activity!”

She wanted to press him further, but something seemed off about his sudden demeanor change. It sent her off balance and now it felt like she was poking at a developing bruise. Before she could ask once more, Ben was already walking away.

00000

Green vegetables and scrambled tofu were not what many would have considered a gourmet breakfast.

Around the tables, laid out like a school dining hall, they picked and prodded at their food, mouths downturned and eyes suspiciously.

“So, I was doing some google searching and I think I know where we can pick up some stuff,” Poe said in a hushed tone, Rose, Gwen, Kaydel and Hux all leaning in to listen, “It’s a trek through. Not going to be easy but totally doable. Rey, what do you think?”

Rey wasn’t listening. Next to them she was also aimlessly picking at her food, but her mind was occupied with something else. This roadblock they were encountering, this impasse, she knew that it was her doing. If she could only say that she forgave him then everything could be fine, hell, they could maybe even start being friends. Real friends.

Something still burned inside her, a rejection, a humiliation that was stopping her from saying those words. It was one thing to imagine it was Ben, but finding out that it _was_ him, and that he’d rejected her? It hurt.

“Rey? Reeeeey?” Poe called, “Earth to Rey?! Don’t tell me you’ve been drinking the ethically made kool-aid?”

“Huh? Sorry, I was miles away,” she mumbled, “What are we doing?”

“Tonight. Booze run!” Poe grinned, “You in?” Rey nodded enthusiastically.

“I am _so_ in!”

“Awesome! Until then I’m going to do some shots of Listerine, maybe I’ll pick up some kind of prison buzz…”

The sound of a small gong echoed through the room, it’s low, soothing reverberations bringing the congregated people to a hush. Ahsoka was back, her smock-like dress returned.

“If you would all like to follow me, we are ready to begin our next activity,” she announced.

“Oh yay,” Poe deadpanned as they pushed themselves away from the table, “Getting to sit around, sucking on each other’s Chi…”

“That’s not the only thing you’ve sucked,” Rose sniggered, earning a poke in the side.

“I resemble that remark!” he exclaimed, following the group. Rey joined quietly, choosing to say nothing while occasionally throwing glances in Ben’s direction. He hadn’t looked at her since yoga.

The room Ahsoka guided them to was smaller, with multiple workstations set up in a circle. Stacks of old newspapers, tape, glue, and scissors sat neatly waiting for them.

“Please go to a station with your partner from this morning,” Ahsoka smiled, watching the grumbling people amble into the room. Rey stood awkwardly next to Ben, neither looking at the other, “This activity is designed to help you work together the way you all should be and since I have been told you are all structural engineers…”

“Some of us are _architects_ …” Hux muttered rudely.

“This will be right up your street!” Ahsoka continued, ignoring the comment, “Using only the materials provided, you are to make a table capable of holding up this phone book for one minute without falling!” she said, holding up the thick yellow book, “Strong table. Strong teamwork!”

“What kind of nonsense, half baked…”

“This is so stupid…”

“I’m so not into this…”

“Everybody ready? And GO!”

Despite the protests and the unimpressed looks, each team began tearing into the problem with vigor. A competitive need to win overtaking the strangeness of the task. Rey dropped to her knees, inspecting the integrity of the paper and tape. Ben came down to her level.

“Alright, so I’m thinking if we fold this side, we can have two closed sides,” he said, holding up a sheet of paper to demonstrate his thoughts, “It’ll look pretty nice,”

“This isn’t about how the table _looks_ , it’s about the structure and in case you didn’t notice, that’s my wheelhouse!” Rey said, “We need to roll these up, the paper is too thin without layering it,”

“But then it won’t look like a table…”

“Weren’t you listening? It doesn’t need to _look_ like a table. It just needs to hold a bloody phonebook for a minute!” She stressed, “This is honestly the issue with you architects. All style, no bloody substance!”

Frantically, she began to roll paper tubes, reaching for the tape to begin construction while grabbed his own paper.

“Well I don’t see your calculator, sweetheart, so how are you going to do the maths right for this one? Oh, wait…”

“Don’t you _dare_ bring up those numbers again, Solo!” she snapped, tapping the legs of her table while Ben began to haphazardly construct a top.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he drawled, “But I will bring up that I got you that promotion. Yeah, I went there…bringing that up…”

“I…I know you did…”

“Just saying, would I have done that if I hadn’t believed in you,” he said sincerely, but clearly exasperated, “But, yeah, let’s forget the nice thing I did for you and let’s focus on all the stupid stuff…”

“It’s _not_ stupid to me!” Rey hissed, “You really don’t have any idea, do you?!” They continued to work, talking about anything except the task, their hands a flurry of tape, glue, and paper. The other teams continued to work, oblivious to the bickering pair among them.

“Then try explaining it to me without blaming me for once!”

“And TIME!” Ahsoka called, “Everyone stop what you are doing and down your tools!”

Rey and Ben stood slowly, looking down at the table they’d constructed together without discussing the details. Rey had rolled up the majority of the paper to create fat logs, taping them together to create thick, sturdy legs while Ben had added haphazard crossbeams. Overall, her idea seemed to have made something stable, but he wasn’t about to admit it.

“Let’s test this out, shall we?” Ahsoka smiled, dropping the phonebook onto their little haphazard construction.

The table shook, the rolled-up paper legs wobbling but ultimately the little table stood. Rey looked up at Ben with a smug smile.

“I _told_ you!” she goaded, “Substance over style!”

“I mean it’s not that good!” Ben said, “It’s holding up a phonebook. Whoop-de-do! It won’t be able to stand any real pressure, watch!”

He swung his leg up, the bottom of his chuck tailors smacking the top of the table but to his surprise meeting nothing but resistance. It trembled, the bottom of the legs dented against the floor, but still, it remained strong.

“You see, strong table means strong teamwork!” Ahsoka praised.

Ben was not to be dissuaded, a muscle jumping under his eye as his frustration began to boil. This table, this monstrosity of a paper construction represented everything that was bothering him about this trip and the situation he found himself in.

And it had to be destroyed.

“No, it’s not!” he shouted, “Fucking stupid paper!” He continued to stamp, his astonished co-workers watching on dumbly.

“Ben, what the hell?! Leave our table alone!” Rey cried, “Don’t be so stupid! It’s your bloody crossbeams that made it so strong in the first place…”

“I am going to break this thing!” He declared hysterically, his long hair flying around with the effort of his stomps, “Why won’t this fucking go down?!”

“Stop it, Ben, you’re acting like a lunatic!” Rey shouted, watching the paper table finally give way under his size 13 foot, “Well, there you are…you destroyed a table made of newspaper, are you proud of yourself?!”

Both felt a cool hand on their arms, Ahsoka looking between them kindly.

“Oh my, I sense much tension between you two,” she said, “I’d like you both to come with me,”

“Ooooh, Ben and Rey are in trouble!”

“Rose!” Amilyn whispered, “This is not high school!”

“It’s a little like high school…” Poe commented, “Good luck with the principle you two!”

Like two children, Rey and Ben sheepishly followed Ahsoka out of the activity room and down the long, pleasant hallway until they reached another room, following her inside.

It was darker than the others, the walls a deep purple color. The room was bathed in a warm glow from candles and Himalayan salt lamps, the shades pulled down over the windows to cover the natural light. Ahsoka gestured for them to sit on the mats covering the wooden floors, the smoky smell of incense in the air.

“It is clear that you both have a lot of built up feelings that must be released,” she said, “This room is a safe space, free of judgment, where you can talk and be heard,”

From behind her back, she produced a strange looking stick. Feathers protruded from either end, leather ropes holding onto beads hanging from it. The whole thing had seemingly been dipped in glitter. Ben could feel his stomach sink.

“What’s with the twig in drag?”

“This is the feeling stick. Whoever is holding the feeling stick is the only one allowed to talk, the rest of us must sit and truly listen. Ben, would you like to go first?”

_Jesus fucking Christ…_


	10. Right in the Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Alright, I feel like Rey is being a bitch,” 
> 
> “Oi!”
> 
> “Now Ben, we do not use language like that in the healing room…”

[ ](https://imgur.com/h609Wlr)

“Ben, would you like to go first?”

 

No. No, he did not. There were many things Ben didn’t want to do and right then, sitting in that purple room cross-legged on the floor opposite Rey, his nostrils burning from the smell of incense, was all top of his list.

 

Ahsoka stares at him expectantly, holding out the garishly decorated excuse for a child’s craft project. Ben grunted, taking the ‘feeling stick’ from her hand.

 

“Alright, I feel like Rey is being a bitch,” 

 

“Oi!”

 

“Now Ben, we do not use language like that in the healing room…”

 

_ Of course, it’s called the fucking healing room… _

 

“Why don’t you try again? And address Rey directly, I am simply here as your spiritual guide…”

 

Ben sighed deeply. Clearly, he wasn’t going to get out of this one.

 

“I feel like you are being...unreasonable,” he said evenly.

 

“Why the hell do…”

 

“Rey, remember only those holding the feeling stick may talk!” Ahsoka reminded her, “You may listen and remain open-minded,”

 

“Sorry,” she mumbled sheepishly. Ahsoka nodded for Ben to continue.

 

“I messed up. I did a shitty thing but I have already apologized for it, and I meant it, I am really truly sorry,” he said sincerely, “I don’t know what else to do to make you believe me,”

 

Rey held out her hand, Ben passing her the glittery twig, noticing with some degree of irritation that his hand was now sparkling.

 

“I...I want a real answer about why you didn’t go into the bar,” she said quietly, “and why you said those things about me. Ben, you’ve been treating me with so much indifference since the day I started at First Order,”

 

Ben opened his mouth to speak, Ahsoka shaking her head until the feathery nonsense was back in his palm.

 

“It was never personal, you have to believe that!” He insisted, “If I didn’t think you were talented, I wouldn’t have gone to bat for you over that promotion but, fuck my life, you frustrate the hell out of me. I just...I needed an outlet, someone to vent to I guess and that’s what Kira...you...were,” 

 

Feather remained stuck to his hand as he passed the stick.

 

“You made so many assumptions about me! About where I was going, what I was doing…I know it’s a shock but would it  _ really _ have been so bad to just...go inside?”

 

“No, that’s not…”

 

“Ah ah Ben, you’re not holding the feeling stick,” Ben growled, his eyes rolling heavily.

 

“Fuck the feeling stick!” He snapped, “Rey, you want to know why I didn’t go into the bar to meet you? Because I was  _ terrified _ ! You have no idea how highly I think of you, have thought of you since the day you started! I’m...I’m not great with social stuff, I get nervous and snippy and I never meant to treat you that way but you always fired back and that got my back up which made it worse!” 

 

He stopped his frantic train of thought suddenly, taking a deep steadying breath. From the corner of his eye, he could see Ahsoka smiling triumphantly, waving the feeling stick towards him. Snorting, he snatched the stick from her hand.

 

“I have done nothing but think of you for...ever. Then I started to get to know Kira and I started to think of you both.  _ Then _ you were there...in the bar and I didn’t think it was possible but it was and I freaked out...because I like you,”

He was sure Rey had stopped breathing, her hazel eyes wide and staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. Quickly the bravery he’d felt, fueled by frustration and indignation, began to dwindle, leaving a sick feeling in his gut and his heart thundering in his chest.

 

Suddenly, Rey reached out, her fingers wiggling until Ben slowly relinquished the stick. She examined the object intently, thoughtfully, twirling it between her fingers as glitter floated to the ground.

 

“I really wanted it to be you,” she confessed quietly, “It was so dumb because what were the odds and I kept telling myself thinking that way was setting myself up for disappointment...and then it  _ was _ you...and that made the disappointment so much worse…”

 

“I don’t understand…”

 

“Imagine all the bad things you think about yourself. That you’re not good enough, that you don’t measure up, that you’re  _ lazy…” _

 

_ “ _ No, that’s not…”

 

“And then it turns out that the person you’ve been hoping saw the best of you, despite how they’ve been acting, they think that way about you too. You saw it was  _ me _ ...and you walked away,” 

 

Ben sat crestfallen, the anxiety in his stomach sitting like a lump of ice. He’d done that to her. Kylo, Ben, it didn’t matter what he was calling himself, he’d rejected her without meaning to and now the consequences of his selfish actions were meeting him head-on.

 

“Rey…”

 

“No, it’s...fine,” she dropped the stick, hastily wiping her rapidly dampening cheeks, inhaling sharply through her nose to compose herself. She turned to Ahsoka, “Well, this has been just  _ great.  _ Really...illuminating. I’m going to go now,”

 

She was on her feet, walking out of the room before Ben could stand, his legs tingling from the crossed position he’d been sitting in.

 

“Rey, please come back!” He called but Ahsoka gently pulled on his arm.

 

“Let her go, give her some space,”

 

“She’s upset…” Ben grumbled, the smell of the incense still nipping his nose. Ahsoka nodded serenely, her nose ring glinting in the glow.

 

“She is, but you’ve both opened your minds and hearts,” she smiled dreamily, “So now…”

 

“What I just leave her to calm down? To stew over why she’s so mad at me?” Ben snapped. The woman shook her head patiently.

 

“Oh heavens no!” She chuckled, “Seems you’ve been quite the asshole…”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Now, you are going to swallow your pride and make it up to her!” She declared. Ben snorted.

 

“Yes, I’m sure a green juice and a bouquet of dead leaves will certainly do the trick…” he drawled, reaching the last of his patience. She smirked slightly, holding herself tall.

 

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” she replied, walking past and leaving him alone in the room. At his feet, he could see the feeling stick. 

 

He glared at the craft project, growling under his breath as he picked it up, twirling it between his fingers until he gripped either end, holding it level with his eyes.

 

He could feel the pressure through his jaw, clenching his teeth as he thought about breaking it, snapping the stupid little stick in two, but he couldn’t. Sighing, he shoved it into his back pocket.

 

“Come on Twiggy stardust, we’ve got some making up to do,” 

 

00000

 

Wherever Rey had gone, it hadn’t been back to their room.

 

In a way he was relieved, he’d immediately headed to their room without any kind of plan formulated. Had she been there, he’d have come up short and probably made a bad situation even worse.

 

Wandering towards the juice bar, an interesting conversation reached his ears.

 

“So tonight? Is it on?”

 

“It’s on alright. I slipped the girl on the front desk fifty bucks and she let me borrow her car. The liquor store isn’t too far according to google maps…”

 

Poe and Rose were standing together, both eyeing Ben warily as he approached.

 

“Hey man, what happened? Where’s Rey?” Poe asked. 

 

“She’s still a little upset,” Ben muttered, “What’s this about a car?” Poe checked their surroundings before answering.

 

“We’re going on a contraband run. Alcohol, fried food, refined sugar...it’s all coming back with us. We have a list!” 

 

Quickly an idea formed.

 

“Is there room in that car?” Ben asked, “I gotta pick up some stuff…” Both Poe and Rose stared at him skeptically.

 

“Really? You, Solo?” Rose snorted, “Aren’t you one of Holdo’s little spies? Gonna run and tell on us?”

 

“Hardly,” Ben replied dryly, “Look I’m serious, can I come along?” Poe shrugged.

 

“Ah, what the fuck, sure!” He grinned, “Besides, this  _ is _ supposed to be a team building weekend! Meet us out in the parking lot just after dinner,”

 

Ben nodded, smiling in agreement. He turned to walk away, Rose and Poe staring quizzically at his back.

 

“Did he shove a bird in his back pocket?”

 

00000

 

“It’s beautiful,”

 

“I’ve never been so happy!”

 

“Can we stop wasting time and just go inside please?” Ben grunted, walking past Rose and Poe as they stared at the 7/11 sign with holy reverence.

 

He’d finalized his plan while shoved in the backseat of the old Ford, rolling through the items in his head until the list he needed was practically memorized. 

 

The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, the mechanical beeping of the door signaling to the bored looking teenager by the register that he’d finally have some customers.

 

Poe and Rose giggled like children, rushing around the aisles to fill their baskets with as much candy and wine as they could carry. Ben rolled his eyes but a smile played on his lips. Having been subjected to the same menu, he could hardly blame them.

 

“Do I get one box of wine or two?” Rose shouted across the store to Poe, her friend grabbing multiple bags of sour patch kids.

 

“We’re not leaving until Monday so get the two. We got thirsty people relying on us!” He called back, “Solo, you got everything?”

 

Ben looked down at his basket. Wine, Mike and Ikes, Oreos and Red Vine sat nestled with a multipack of candles that he hoped Poe wouldn’t ask too many questions about.

 

“Yeah, I’m good!”

 

“Great, let's get this stuff paid for. We’ve got that McDonald's run to do before we get back and God knows how long that’s going to take!”

 

When Ben approached the register, Poe looked at his basket.

 

_ Ah shit… _

 

“Ooh Ben, candles? Having a little romantic evening?”

 

“I, uh, want to take a bath…” he lied, staring ahead at the teen ringing up the items to avoid Pope’s huge grin.

 

“A bath? Oh please tell me you’re going to put on some Kenny G?”

 

“Shut up,” Ben grumbled, “Pay for your damn sugar rush,”

 

The trio left the store laden with bags, the sound of glass bottles clinking together as they walked. If Ben had thought the car had felt small before, it was made worse when he was surrounded by the world's most unhealthy groceries.

 

“So, what’s happening with you and Rey?” Rose asked, the car revving to life while she ripped into a pack of M&Ms. 

 

“What do you mean? Nothing is happening,” Ben shrugged flippantly.

 

“Uhuh. Then why are you guys fighting  _ all _ the time?” She pressed, tipping the bag into her mouth.

 

“Don’t hog it all!” Poe said, holding his hand out for Rose to share, “Rose has a point, what’s the deal?”

 

“There, uhh, is no deal!” Ben insisted, “We work together and we’re just trying to work together...better,”

 

“Didn’t you have a girlfriend?” Rose asked. Ben frowned.

 

“No, what makes you say that?”  The car pulled into the McDonald’s drive-thru, the glow of the Golden Arches radiating over the car.

 

“Well, I guess we all just assumed...you were walking around for so long with this goofy smile on your face, totally addicted to your phone…” Ben shifted uncomfortably in the back seat.

 

“No, that’s...that’s not it,” he mumbled awkwardly. Rose continued to munch on her snacks.

 

“Leave the guy alone, we have to order,” Poe chuckled, leaning into the microphone to speak.

 

“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?”

 

“Yeah, hey there, can we get 15 double quarter pounders, 15 large fries, 4 boxes of sharing nugget, 6 chocolate shakes, 6 strawberry shakes and 3 vanilla shakes, 10 apple pies...anything else?” He asked Rose and Ben.

 

“Ooh some McGriddles! They have an all-day breakfast menu!” 

 

“And 10 sausage McGriddles” Poe finished. The speaker crackled as they waited.

 

“Do you need a bag for that?” 

 

Poe rolled his eyes.

 

“No, we’re going to juggle it,” he drawled, “Yes, please, we will need a lot of bags!” 

 

Twenty minutes later, Ben had another 4 bags full of food shoved into his lap, the intoxicating smell of French fries and melting cheese filling the car.

 

“Woohoo!” Poe hollered, the car speeding back towards Serenity Lodge, “ _ This  _ is what a team building retreat should be! As soon as we get back, Rose, get everyone to my room. We are so having a party! Ben, you in?”

 

“Sure but, there’s something I have to do first…”

 

00000

 

_ <Kyl0R3n> Please tell me where you went? I’d like to talk to you...properly. _

 

When he’d returned to their room but found it empty, Ben had briefly wondered if Rey had somehow managed to head back to New York, but it was a relief to find that her things were still there. It still didn’t tell him where she had gone so he reached for his phone, sending a message in a last-ditch attempt to communicate.

 

_ <Lightbeam> Image.png  _

 

Ben squinted at the picture. He could see the water and the trees glowing in the pale artificial lights that the lodge had installed. The lake. She was sitting on the dock near the lake.

 

Quickly setting up the room, he steeled himself for what he had to do.

 

The fall air was cool despite being so early in the season. The lack of sun had sucked the last of the warmth away, leaving a nip in the atmosphere. He was glad he’d grabbed an extra sweater. Her back was to him, sitting staring out over the dark water, her arms wrapped around herself.

 

“Hi,” Rey jumped at the sound, his voice pulling her out of her trance.

 

“Hi,” she replied softly. Even in the darkness of descending night he could see that she’d been crying, dried tear tracks on her cheeks. 

 

“Can I sit?” 

 

“Sure,” she said after a thoughtful pause. Carefully, he sat down next to her, his legs joining hers in dangling over the water. Without asking, he wrapped his spare sweater around her body.

 

“Thought you’d be cold,” 

 

“Thank you,” she replied quietly, pulling the soft fabric closer to her skin. They remained in silence, the sound of lapping water and rustling leaves filling the time until Rey finally spoke.

 

“I miss you,” 

 

He was sure he’d misheard, maybe she hadn’t spoken at all. His brows shot towards his hairline, turning to look at her quizzically.

 

“What?”

 

“I miss you,” she repeated, staring out over the water, “That’s what sucks about this whole thing. I lost...the idea or the possibility of Ben but I lost Kylo too. You were the highlight of my day and now you’re gone,”

 

“I’m not gone,” he insisted, “Not if you don’t want me to be! Rey, I’m still Kylo…”

 

“Hmm,” she suddenly snorted an inelegant laugh, “I mean, we’ve missed so many battlegrounds, probably fucked our points for the season,”

 

He watched her intently, the tiny lift at the corners of her mouth, the teasing glint in her eye that reassured him there was still hope. His stomach fluttered, a burst of laughter escaping before he could help it. Her own giggles joined his, pair laughing together by the water. 

 

“How do you feel about me? Honestly,” she asked turning to him, their laughter settling, “Now you know the truth, am I going to go back to just being your annoying co-worker? Are we friends?” 

 

He remained quiet, the pounding of his heart drowning out the sounds of nature around them. He shifted to reach into his back pocket, pulling out the stick he’d kept since the afternoon.

 

“Did you...did you  _ steal _ the feeling stick?” 

 

He held it up between them, watching the glitter sparkle in the lamplight, the ridiculous feathers bobbing in the breeze.

 

_ Fuck it _

 

One flick of his hand and the stick flew through the air, splashing into the lake where it rose to the surface with a pop, floating conspicuously. A warm hand on her jaw pulled her attention from the water to Ben, his grip gentle where his fingers curled towards the nape of her neck. She was helpless, held spellbound by his touch, his scent saturated in the fabric around her body and his lips as they descended gently to hers. Soft, warm and tender, she melted against him, whimpering as his tongue licked at the seam of her mouth.

 

It was like drowning, being pulled into the undertow. Her hands looped his neck, pulling him closer, her fingers curling around his hair. All the daydreams and stolen thoughts were nothing compared to how he really felt, his dexterous tongue stoking a fire in her belly, her body desperately needing to be touched.

 

She needed more, shifting to throw her leg over his hip and climb into his lap. Despite the cool of the air, both had completely forgotten their surroundings. 

 

“Ahh!”

 

Her leg slipped. Instead of landing on the other side of the dock, she found no surface, the sudden pull sending her off balance. Manically she tried to grab onto Ben to find purchase in something solid. It was no use, both tumbling into the freezing cold water.

 

They both surfaced, spluttering and gasping for breath. The feeling stick floated between them, Ben narrowing his eyes at the idea of such ridiculous karma.

 

“Are you alright?” He asked as she bobbed in front of him. She nodded, giggling as she did.

 

“I’m fine. I am so sorry!” She gasped, “Look at the state of us! Fuck, it’s freezing,” 

 

“Come on, let get into some dry clothes before we catch our death,” Ben said, his teeth already beginning to chatter.

 

“You never answered me,” Rey said, following Ben towards the wood to climb out, “Before, you never answered,”

 

“That wasn’t an answer?” Ben shivered pulling himself out of the water before holding his hand out to Rey, helping her back onto the tiny dock.

 

She shook her head, a shy smile on her soaked face, water droplets running off her nose. Ben smiled. It would have all been adorable if it hadn’t been so cold.

 

“I...have wanted to do that for a very long time,” he confessed, “Why don’t we talk about this more in our room once we’ve dried off huh?” He began to walk them in the direction of the Lodge.

 

“Wait, what about the feeling stick?!”

 

“Fuck the feeling stick,”


	11. Cheap Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY! This took way longer than I'd have liked but there's a combination to blame. First of all, exams and hand-ins are getting heavy again at university. I'm on the home stretch before we finish up and I NEED to focus on that. Sadly this means writing won't always come as quickly.
> 
> Second, I had a bit of a crisis of confidence over my work. I feel like I've lost my mojo a little after well over a year of solid writing, I'm going to finish the WIPs I have but I don't know if I'll be doing anything new for a while.

[](https://imgur.com/qFGNfb3)

His legs were numb.

There was really no time to enjoy the picturesque gardens in the lamplight. The cold water had saturated their clothes, not helped by the frigid evening air, the cold breeze rustling the fallen leaves and chilling his soaked jeans.

Still, he was smiling. He was smiling because so was she. As they walked, she’d spontaneously reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his as if it were the most natural thing in the world. As if such a minor action wasn’t making his heart race.

She’d offered him nothing but a shy smile. Considering how hostile their retreat experience had begun, the fact that she was seemingly being so trusting was a relief he didn’t know he’d needed.

The evening receptionist looked up with only a vague inclination of interest as the pair squelched their way through the lobby, her double take leading to a wide-eyed stare.

“Evening,” Ben greeted, water still dripping from the ends of his hair. The woman’s mouth flapped, trying to decide if she should reply, question what happened or simply fetch a mop.

They continued to shuffle past, leaving a trail of damp in their wake.

A tightness began to claw at the back of his throat. While ascending the stairs towards the luxury rooms, it occurred to him that they were about to be alone, hidden away from prying eyes in a space with a lock on the door and two large beds.

And candles.

And wine.

Like a snake coiling around its prey, the same pressure crept around his chest, inhales of his breath coming in short puffs. If his previous behavior showed anything, it’s that experience with women wasn’t something he was practiced in and now that the subject of his daydreams was walking with him hand in hand, the little voice of panic in the back of his head was telling him to run again.

He wouldn’t. Not this time.

The chattering of Rey’s teeth brought his attention back to his surroundings.

“Shit, we have got to get those clothes off…” he muttered, fumbling for his room key. A difficult task when his jeans were plastered to his thighs. Rey smirked, a pink blush spreading across her cold cheeks, “Uh, I mean...because of the cold...you’ll get sick,” He stammered awkwardly.

The light of the lock flicked to green, the door clicking open.

“Right, straight into the bathroom and get in the shower!” He said firmly, guiding her towards the en suite.

“It’s not so bad,” Rey stammered, her voice shaky, “I can’t even feel my toes anymore!”

“Shower. Now!”

Holding her by the shoulders he walked her into the bathroom, turning on the shower until the water was steaming.

“Well, what are you going to do? You must be freezing too!”

He was. Parts of his skin burned and nipped with the cold and much like Rey, he was also losing feeling in his toes. Instead, he shrugged.

“It’s fine, I’ll change into dry clothes and I’ll soon warm up,” he dismissed, unable to suppress the shiver running along his arms.

“But…”

“No, no ‘but’. Go and shower. Get warm and we can talk when you get out,”

Rey smiled, shyly nodding in agreement as he backed out of the bathroom, the door closing and locking in front of him.

The minute the door closed, he dashed to his bag, swearing under his breath, hissing as he peeled his damp clothing from his body. Parts of his pale skin were scarlet with the cold and numb to the touch as he toweled off, deciding that while fresh jeans and a button-down would certainly make him look more put together, the need for warmth and comfort drew him to his black sweatpants and a soft, cotton tee.

The sound of rushing water told him he still had time. In dry clothes, his hair as good as it was going to get, Ben jumped from his place on the bed. Frantically he rushed around the room, tidying his things.

She was giving him a chance.

Grabbing the grocery bag, he pulled out the candy and wine, arranging them on the desk along with the 7/11 branded scented candles.

The McDonalds was rapidly growing cold, the fries growing limp in the red and yellow box. He stood back and evaluated his work, his hands on his hips.

_Candles. Wine. McDonald's. Gummy worms._

_Holy shit, we are sixteen years old…_

The sound of the water stopped. He calculated that if she decided to towel dry her hair, maybe moisturize her face that he had approximately a minute before he had to face her, but what if she didn’t? Then it was less. She’s be walking out of that bathroom and, Jesus, what was he going to say or do? Was this now a date? If it was, it was the strangest date he’d ever been on. Did she want him to kiss her again?!

His frantic train of thought was rudely interrupted by the clicking of the bathroom door lock.

 

_Shit…_

Rey walked out in a cloud of steam, her cheeks flushed and glowing, dressed in the complimentary fluffy bathrobe the lodge provided. A dreamy smile adorned her face in stark contrast to the uneven, panicked smile Ben was sporting.

“That felt so good! Are you sure you don’t want a shower? I feel so much… Oh my God…”

 “I know, it’s stupid…”

“Did you do this for me?” She asked, stepping closer to inspect the spread.

“No, I was treating myself to a candlelit Big Mac,” he said sarcastically, immediately catching himself, “Shit, sorry, I mean…”

“It’s fine!” Rey laughed, “There he is,”

“There is...who?”

“Kylo,” Rey shrugged sitting herself down on the bed, “I’ve missed the banter!”

“Technically it’s only been a few days,” he said bashfully.

“Well, I was talking to you every day. It was weird not speaking,” she said. Ben opened the screw top wine, filling two plastic cups before turning to hand one to Rey.

“I’m here now,” he said softly, handing her the plastic cup. The softness of her fingers brushed him as she accepted the cup, her eyes scanning his body shamelessly.

“Yes, you are,” she breathed, sipping her wine. Ben blushed, turning away to hide the pink rising in his cheeks.

“So, we’ve got cold McDonalds, candy and the finest the seven eleven had to offer,” he said, filling the charged silence.

“You really went out to get this for me?” Rey asked. Ben sat next down on the huge bed, the mattress dipping with his weight.

“Poe helped,”

“Poe?!”

“Yeah, you know he was doing that contraband run with Rose? Think there’s a party happening in their room. We can go if you want to? Or you can...I didn’t mean ‘we’ like…”

“It’s cool,” Rey smiled, “I think I’d rather hang out here…with you,”

“Oh, okay,” he answered nervously, gulping his wine and wincing at the sour taste, “God, I’m sorry this stuff is awful!”

“It’s not the best,” Rey giggled, “Honestly, not that much of a wine drinker. I’d rather have a beer,”

“Or a can of Monster?” He smiled playfully. Rey nodded.

“Or a can of Monster! I swear this retreat is trying to kill me, putting me through caffeine withdrawal like this,” she laughed, “But the sour worms are a good substitute!” She reached across the to the table, grabbing the bag to tear into the candy, a gummy worm hanging from her mouth as she offered the bag to Ben.

“So, you’ve wanted to do that a while huh?” She said, “How long is a while?”

Ben paled at the direct question, immediately wishing he had an excuse to hide behind. Her unrelenting hazel eyes waited for an answer.

“Um, well…”

“Come on, I think we’re past secrets now,” she prompted. Ben signed, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Let’s see, you started in June...so, July, I’ve watched to do that since July...of the year you started,” he muttered. Rey looked upwards, mentally doing the math.

“Of the year I started? Ben, that was over three years ago! You never said anything...or even acted like you liked me!” She said. Ben physically flinched.

“I know,” he groaned, “I’ve never been great...at talking to girls,”

“Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?” She teased.

“Fair point. I’ve always been that way since I was a kid. Guess that’s why I preferred online gaming. Talking to people through a screen is so much easier!” He explained. Rey sipped her wine, nodding in agreement.

“You know, I guess I understand what you mean. You still acted like an asshole...but it’s nice to know there was a little more to it than you _just_ being an asshole,” she smirked.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Online gaming. I never would have pegged you for a gamer,” he said. Rey shrugged, grabbing another handful of gummy worms.

“I suppose...I liked the distance,” she said quietly, “I could be social but escape to my own little world and if I wasn’t enjoying it or liking the conversation I could just...leave,”

She sipped her wine, the cheap alcohol mingling with the sweet of the candy. It felt strange to say it out loud, especially to the person she least expected to be having a heart to heart with, but the confession was like a lightbulb glowing in her head. It was a wall, it was space and separation. With all of that came safety because she’d never had to get too close to someone. Getting close to people meant being vulnerable. It was never something she’d been comfortable with.

“Rey?” Ben’s voice broke through her hazy thoughts, “Lost you for a minute there,”

“Sorry, it’s been a long day,” she excused, “You know what they say. Healers are always the grumpiest,” she chuckled, downing the last of her wine.

“I’ve been meaning to say something about that,” Ben said, following and discarding his empty cup, “About your healing…”

“What about it?” She asked warily.

“Your trinket is all wrong,” he said plainly. Rey gasped, her jaw hanging slack.

“Excuse you!?”

“You heard me, your trinket is wrong. It’s totally messing with your mana consumption. You’d be so much more effective in twos if you swapped it out,”

“Oh, this coming from the tank who refuses to upgrade his shoulders because he likes how they look?” She fired back, “No wonder my mana consumption is so high, I’m having to work twice as hard to heal a lazy tank!” Ben scowled and she couldn’t quite tell if he was genuinely offended.

“Lazy? I think you’ll find I’m one of the best, sweetheart!” He said arrogantly, leaning closer to her, Rey’s indignant face staring back up at him.

She moved so quickly, closing the short distance between them and pressing her lips to his in a sound kiss. The action caught him off guard, but it only took a second for him to melt into her touch, the cheap wine tasting far sweeter on her tongue.

There was nothing to distract them this time, no lake to fall in, no crisp autumn air to hang the threat of hypothermia over their heads. Just the two of them and a private hotel room.

The prospect was terrifying.

Still locked together, Rey moved her body closer to him, her arms snaking around his neck. Tentatively, his own hands found her waist, his head beginning to swim with the taste of her, the smell of fresh soap on her skin. A tight pressure moved down through his torso, his rapidly hardening erection beginning to tent his sweatpants.

She could feel tension running through his almost solid shoulders. Pulling away, she shot him a questioning glance.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” he lied, hoping the ambient light of the room hid the fact his body was acting like a horny teen. Rey didn’t buy it.

“You’re so tense,” she wondered, “Is it me?”

“No. God, no!” He insisted, “It’s just...uh, Jesus how do I put this without sounding lame?”

“Just say it, Solo,”

Ben groaned tipping his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not the most experienced with girls,” he mumbled quietly, the heat taking over his cheeks threatening to turn him to ashes at any moment. Rey blinked at him in astonishment.

“How is that possible? Have you seen you?” She exclaimed. If it was possible to blush further, he would have, but that would have meant diverting blood from his painfully hard cock, something his body was simply not willing to do while she was sitting so close to him, running her soft hand along his bare forearm.

“Well, turns out it doesn’t matter how you look if you’re a socially awkward nerd,” he replied, wishing that the conversation would end and they could return to the kissing, “I just don’t want to disappoint you,”

“How inexperienced are we talking? Are you a virgin?”

“No!” He cried indignantly, “I _did_ have a girlfriend in college!”

_She was a bitch and couldn’t give a handjob to save her life but whatever…_

“Ben, you’re not going to disappoint me,” Rey said gently, “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, we could just go to Poe’s part…”

She found herself on her back, his huge frame hovering over her body as he kissed her passionately, years of want and a boldness than cane from understanding taking over his movements. She whimpered against his lips, the weight of his body a comfort and the feel of his cock rubbing through the combined fabric of his clothes and her robe stoking a heat in her belly.

He gazed down at her, hair still damp but skin glowing in the candlelight, her wrists trapped above her head beneath his hands, her chest heaving with every breath she took. It was a God damn fantasy come to life, one he’d thought of more than he cared to admit.

“Are you going to just stay there staring all night? Or are you going to do something about this?”

He had two options. He could allow self-consciousness to swallow him, he’d blush and mutter excuses. They’d go to Poe’s party and the whole thing would be an awkward story that he’d mentally beat himself up over for the rest of his life.

Or he could accept that she was there, her eyes burning just for him, not only giving her permission but challenging him to make the right move.

His arm slid under her body, arching her back and pressing her against him as he kissed her in response.  A smooth leg escaped the opening of her robe, hiking up over his hip, the layers of clothing grinding between them creating friction that only pushed their frenzy higher.

“Off,” Rey panted, grasping the hem of his tee, Ben chuckling nervously as he pulled the garment off, sitting back on his knees. Rey leaned back on her elbows, her lower lip trapped between her teeth, her eyes shamelessly roaming his bare chest.

He sucked in a breath, her bare foot tracing a path up his thigh to reach his waistband.

“Off,” she said playfully, her toes tickling his stomach.

“Seems a little uneven,” Ben smirked, “You get to sit back and enjoy a show,”

A hint of shyness flicked across her features, her eyes darting down towards her robe. Her smile was wide and wicked as she gripped the ties, boldly pulling the robe open.

“Are we even now?” She giggled, enjoying every moment of Ben’s awestruck face.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he wondered, watching the way her long legs met a slender waist, her breasts perfect for her lithe shape. She reached forward, grabbing the waistband of his pants, pulling him down to the bed to maneuver him to his back.

“Let me,” she instructed, pushing him flat, “Relax,” He lifted his hips, Rey pulling his sweatpants and underwear off in one motion, his erection springing free. Her expression mirrored his, eyes darkening.

He hissed under his breath feeling her soft fingers wrap around his length.

“Just relax,” she crooned, “I want to make this good for you,”

“Shouldn’t it be me saying that to yo-…oh my God,”

The flat of her tongue licked a long stripe up the underside of him, swirling around the head as she reached the tip. His back arched, hips tilting unconsciously as she took him further into her mouth.

“Fuck, baby, that feels so good,” he babbled, the back of his head pushed into the pillow, one of his hands coming to her hair, fisting lightly against the tresses while the other grasped the sheets by his side.

She paused, the filthy motion of spitting on her hand making his cock twitch until her mouth took him again, her hand using the excess moisture to pump him in time with the bobbing of her head.

This was _not_ how he had envisioned this retreat going.

She moaned around his cock, the vibration sending jolts through his veins as she tried to pull him deeper, the head of him hitting the back of her throat, the watering of her eyes the most erotic thing he’d ever seen as he watched her, fighting the urge to add pressure with his hand.

The vision of her naked between his knees, sucking his cock, her lips flushed, and eyes glazed, had him feeling things he’d never experienced, a dark desire pulsing through his body. Social anxiety and awkwardness be damned, she was there, she wanted him. What use was there in being shy anymore?

“So close,” he growled, her mouth leaving him with a damp pop.

“Do you want to fuck me?” she asked huskily, her hand still languidly pumping his cock, keeping him on the edge but never pushing him over. He nodded frantically, lying below her as she crawled up his body, her soaked slit grinding against his aching member.

“You are so wet,” he muttered, the feel of her driving his desperation, “Fuck, Rey, I want you…”

“All for you, baby,” she breathed, slowly sinking down onto him with a loud moan, the girth of him stretching her with a slight burn. She stilled, her hands resting on his chest as she panted, “You feel so good. So big,”

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so tight,” he groaned, “Move baby, ride me…”

He’d never uttered sentences like it, his mind flooding with endorphins and finally, he understood why people chased hedonism. His hand gripped her hips as she slowly began to move, her muscles relaxing around him. She used her hands to leverage herself against his chest, picking up speed. Ben could barely suppress the moans she drew from him, her perky breasts bouncing as she did.

“Fuck, your cock feels so good!” she groaned, her moans growing needier as her cunt fluttered around him, “Touch me, please…”

Who was he to deny her anything? A hand trailed from her hip, finding the hub of nerves among damp, dark curls. His thumb stroked her in uncoordinated circles, driving her further into a frenzy. Every sexual fantasy he’d ever had, he could see himself doing with this woman, his confidence growing as she keened above him.

They moved in rhythm, his hips thrusting upward to meet her movements, delighting in her cries of pleasure that he was causing. Her cunt clenched around him, fluttering as she spiraled out of control, Ben fucking her through her orgasm as she slumped forward onto his chest, her forehead tucked into the crook of his neck.

With a final thrust, he released himself in her with a strained groan, his cock buried as deep as possible, his cum warming her insides.

They lay quietly, gasping for breath as their combined heartbeats hammered against one another. His limbs felt like lead weights as he lifted his hand to absently stroke her back. She lifted her head, pressing her lips against his in a gentle kiss.

“So, do you want to go to Poe’s party?” he asked. Rey shook her head, stroking some of his hair from his face.

“I think we’ve got our own party right here,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a lovely little surprise, The Reylo Fic Recs facebook group are hosting awards and I've been nominated in 4 categories! Now, I don't expect to win because I'm up against some AMAZING writers and some serious heavy Reylo hitters, but here are the categories I'm in:
> 
> Best Erotica Fanfictions – AU (Dark Nights)  
> Best Humor Fanfictions – AU (Heather and Honey)  
> Best Characterization – AU (Firewater)  
> Best Author
> 
> If you'd like to vote for me you can BUT you need to be a member of the group https://www.facebook.com/groups/reyloficrecs/ - If you voted for me enough for me to be nominated then THANK YOU! 
> 
> You don't know how much it made my day and boosted my confidence!


	12. All Hail The Feeling Stick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading, commenting and being generally lovely!
> 
> I’m still crazy busy but I found the time to get this out. I’m updating from my phone for the first time ever so I’ll apologize for any mistakes and fix them when I get back home and back to a laptop! Currently in London on a trip!

_Staring at people is weird...I’m being weird_

 

_But oh my God...LOOK AT HIM_

 

Their night had becoming a blur of sex punctuated with lazy chats, fistfuls of candy and occasional naps. By the time they’d finally fallen asleep, it was almost 4am.

 

Still, when the sun began to stream through the windows, Rey had woken feeling at ease and more comfortable than she had in so long. She could feel the warmth of his naked skin against hers, his body heating the bed like a human furnace. Carefully, she rolled onto her side to face him, watching him as he slept soundly.

 

The idea that he’d been inexperienced with girls still blew her mind, especially now she had time to examine his features. He looked so much younger, his perpetually creased brow relaxed, small puffs of air huffing from between his full lips. His dark hair was a perfectly formed mess. It reminded her of a perfectly disheveled model.

 

_So unfair…_

 

Her phone on the nightstand buzzed, Rey wincing, hoping that the noise didn’t wake him. She wasn’t quite done with her self-indulgent staring.

 

_ <Finn> How’s the retreat? Do you have news for me? Is Poe still sexy? I bet he is… _

 

Rey fought a snort, rolling her eyes. She smirked at the phone, biting her lip as her eyes darted between the phone and Ben. Swallowing the giggles threatening to escape, she opened her camera.

 

_Careful...careful…_

 

The picture was perfect. It showed his peaceful, unfairly beautiful face, his messy hair and a large expanse of his naked chest.

 

“AH!”

 

At least, it would have been a perfect picture, had she remembered to turn the flash off.

 

Her phone camera going off only a few inches away from his face had him rudely woken, blinding light hitting behind his eyelids interrupting the blissful sleep he’d been having.

 

In a panic from his shout and sudden movement, Rey threw her phone behind her to the floor, hoping that the case covering it was enough to save her screen.

 

_A broken phone is a small price to pay…_

 

“Huh? Rey?”

 

“Morning!” She said sweetly, “how’d you sleep?” Ben smiled softly, falling back against the pillow.

 

“Good,” he answered, gazing up at her with bleary eyes, “Better with you here,”

 

“That’s such a _line_ ,” Rey snorted, Ben chuckling alongside her, his fingers absently playing with a lock of her hair.

 

“Maybe, but that doesn’t make it true,” he shrugged, “What time is it?”

 

“Early enough that we’ll make it for morning yoga,”

 

“Urgh,” Ben muttered, “So lame. Large coffee and a morning battleground, that’s what I need!”

 

“Well, sorry to say big guy, we have one more day and night before the bus takes us home. You’re stuck in the real world,” she smiled.

 

“Like I said, it’s better with you here,”

 

She blushed, her smile growing shy as he brushed the hair over her bare shoulder. Slowly she sank back into the softness of the bed, attempting to hide her burning cheeks.

 

“No no, don’t start getting shy now,” Ben chuckled, pulling the covers back, “I think we’re past that,” he said confidently. It was a stark contrast to how he had been. He looked far more at ease than he ever had in her presence, but she supposed a night of multiple orgasms did wonders for relations.

 

“I wonder if this is the team building Amilyn had in mind?” Rey pondered innocently, prompting a bark of a laugh from Ben, his arms stretching above his head.

 

“I don’t imagine so,” he replied, “Or maybe it was. Maybe she planned for us all to pair off and bang until we were too exhausted to argue?”

 

“Hmm. Don’t see that working for Rose. That girl is a boundless fountain of energy,” She said. Ben sniggered.

 

“Rest in peace Hux. His spirit was willing but the flesh was weak and spongy,” Rey screwed up her face, grabbing the pillow to hit him.

 

“Gross!” She cried, “And you totally stole that line from Futurama,”

 

“I did. It’s a very underrated show,”  

 

Rey pulled herself out of bed, Ben watching her with a petted lip.

 

“Where are you going? Come back to bed,”

 

“Can’t. We have morning yoga, remember?” She gently reminded him. Ben grabbed the nearby pillow, stuffing it over his face as he audibly growled, “Come on, it won’t be that bad!”

 

“It’s before 9am and I’m at a vegan health spa. It absolutely can be that bad,” Rey had made her way into the bathroom by the time he moved the pillow, the sound of running water echoing out the door.

 

“You could stop complaining and join me in the shower?” She called.

 

Ben smiled, jumping out of bed.

 

00000

 

“Oh my God...fuck...fuck…”

 

They were definitely going to be late, but it was hard to care when her legs were locked around his waist, her back sliding against the wet tiles and her face buried into the crook of his neck.

 

It had started innocently enough and the theory she’d presented him with was certainly sound. Showering together would save time and they’d both make the ridiculous morning yoga.

 

He hadn’t accounted for the fact that the minute he saw her naked body under the running water, his blood supply diverted south of the border.

 

“You feel so good,” He panted, “Come with me baby, I’m so close,”

 

Any response her sex-addled mind could conjure was lost, the sounds spilling from her lips nothing more than babbled pleas for him to keep going, the debauched symphony of damp hips slapping against hips and moans joining the running water.

 

Her legs tightened around him, thighs trembling as her cunt clenched in waves, her teeth finding the meat of his shoulder. His hips stuttered, thrusting as deep as possible as his release hit. Both breathing hard, he slowly lowered her back to the ground, both aching from the prolonged position.

 

“Alright, we definitely need to get a move on now!” She giggled.

 

Quickly as they could, they finished showering and changed into suitable clothing. To both their surprise, they were only running 20 minutes late so far but as they began to leave the room, Ben stopped her.

 

“Hang on, what...what happens? Do we tell people?” Ben asked, “Are we...I dunno, dating?”

 

Rey looked up at him, her face thoughtful until she finally spoke.

 

“What do you want to happen?”

 

Ben paused. He’d all been for asking the question but the prospect of answering it himself had him thrown. Truthfully, he’d hoped Rey’s answer could signpost him, give him an idea of where things were headed.

 

“I guess...I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I think there’s more here than that,” he said honestly, “I mean, if you do...no pressure or…”

 

“I do too,” she replied quickly, “I would very much like to go out when we get back to New York,”

 

“Did you just ask me on a date?” Ben smiled. Rey nodded.

 

“Hmm. I guess I did...who knows, I might even show up!” She quipped, “Come on, we’re already late!”

 

00000

 

Everyone would notice they weren’t there for the class beginning, there wasn’t much they could do about that.

 

They’d agreed the least disruptive thing to do would be to join in at the back and apologise to Ahsoka afterwards, but arriving at the patio they were met by a surprising sight.

 

Nobody else was there.

 

Well, nobody accept a very agitated Amilyn who stood tapping her foot on her mat while Ahsoka sat serenely cross legged at the head of the space.

 

“Well finally at least _someone_ shows up!” Amilyn cried, “Where is everyone else?”

 

Ben scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

 

“No idea, we haven’t seen them since last night,” he shrugged nonchalantly. Amilyn sighed.

 

“Can you two do me a favor? Go and chase them up, see what the hell is going on. Maybe even try and get them down here?”

 

“You got it boss,” Rey said, hoping her cheery disposition at least brought a smile to Amilyn’s anxious face.

 

Turning, she fought the urge to grab Ben’s hand. There was something unsettling to her about how natural it all felt, how easy. Like pulling on a well worn sweater on a cold day. It all felt too easy being around him now his walls had been pulled down, the defensive part of her wondering if she was setting herself up for a fall.

 

“How much do you want to bet they’re all still in bed?” Ben asked, waking by her side back to the rooms.

 

“Too easy. Of course they are. Question is, what state are they going to be in?”

 

They reached the door of Poe’s room, Rey knocking. When no reply came, she looked to Ben, the man hammering on the door with his huge hands.

 

“Poe? Poe! Open up, we have to go meditate and shit!” He barked, the deep timbre of his voice causing her stomach to flip.

 

_Dominant Ben? Focus, Rey…_

 

From behind the door, they both heard something between a groan and a curse, loud banging as whoever was moving reached the door.

 

Slowly it opened, Poe leaning heavily on the wood for support, his eyes red and hair sticking out all directions.

 

“Good morning sunshine!” Rey grinned, “Are we well?”

 

“No. No we are not,” Poe croaked, “What time is it?”

 

“Time to get zen. You’re all late,” Ben said. Poe grunted moving back into the room.

 

“Holy shit…” Rey cried, following him in. People were strewn all over the room, lying in heaps on the bed and the floor. Empty cans, bottles, boxes of wine littered the room.

 

Rose lay sleeping under a pile of McDonalds wrappers while Hux was passed out propped up against the wall, complete with a full face of make-up.

 

“Wow, one day without junk food and alcohol and you guys just lose it, huh?” Ben commented, picking his way over Mitaka as he snored on the carpet. Poe shrugged.

 

“We may have over indulged a little,” he said, his voice rough, “I didn’t think we’d finish _all_ of the booze. That was supposed to last us tonight too!”

 

“I don’t think anyone will be drinking tonight,” Rey sniggered, shaking Rose, “Come on Rosebud, get up!”

 

“Leave me to die,” Rose groaned, her speech muffled by the mountain of pillows she’d buried her face in.

 

“Come on guys, Amilyn is going spare! She’s down there waiting for us all. This is still a _work_ trip!” Ben reasoned, “You want that kind of reputation?”

 

“She can’t blame all of us…” Gwen mumbled from the corner of the room, a random bra tied around her head.

 

“No, she can just discipline all of you when we get back,” Ben said dryly, “But hey, it’s not my job…”

 

“Fine, fine, we’ve moving,” Poe grumbled, “Right, guys?”

 

The collective response was less than enthusiastic.

 

00000

 

 _“_ There you all are! Hurry up, you’ve kept poor Ahsoka waiting!”

 

The group of First Order employees shuffled out onto the patio like the walking dead. Pounding heads, sallow skin and bloodshot eyes should have been enough to tell Amilyn everything she needed to know. If she noticed, she chose not to comment.

 

“Good morning all,” Ahsoka said pleasantly, “if you could all take your places at the mats with your partner then we can begin. Smaller partner in front, standing back to chest,”

 

“Oh my God, Poe you smell like pure vodka,” she heard Kaydel hiss across the patio.

 

Her snigger at the state of her friends subsided feeling the heat of Ben’s chest pressing lightly against her back. The scent of soap from their shower brought indecent images to her mind, like the way he’d effortlessly hauled her off her feet to sink her down onto his cock, bracing her against the shower wall to thrust upwards.

 

“Today we’re going to be trying some new positions to foster a sense of closeness,” Ahsoka said to the class.

 

“There are some positions I’d like to try…” Ben whispered in Rey’s ear, the heat of his breath on her skin sending a shiver along her spine.

 

Who’d have thought it would only take one night of trial and error sex to finally make Ben Solo relax?

 

“Alright I want everyone to take a deep inhale, reach up to the sky and gently fold forward. Larger partners, be careful not to be too heavy on the person in front, and just gently rest,”

 

The size difference was almost comical, Ben’s huge torso draped over her like a human blanket, his cheek pressed against her spine. From where they were joined at the hip, her behind pressed into his front. He sucked in a breath as she experimentally wiggled her body.

 

“And stand tall once more, deeply inhaling. Carefully step forward in synchronized movements with the left leg and lunges forward with the arms extended for warrior one,”

 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Mitaka groaned at the back.

 

“Having a problem?” Rey said innocently, feeling Ben’s growing erection poke into her back.

 

“Something like that,” he grunted.

 

“It wasn’t a problem yesterday morning,” she commented. Ben shrugged, the pair both putting their right knee down on the mat for runners lunge.

 

“I didn’t like you yesterday. It’s hard to get turned on by someone who is being a dick,”

 

“Oh I don’t know, I thought you were a dick and I managed to get turned on fine,” she quipped.

 

“And now both of you come to sit on the mat, legs outstretched and open. Front partners sit in the space between your partner's legs,”

 

Ben stifled a groan as Rey shuffled herself into position, purposely rubbing against him as much as she could.

 

“Hmm. Regardless, I’m...having issues now,” he snorted, the couple following the movements and side bends Ahsoka was showing them.

 

Sex had never been something that had really bothered her, or so she told herself, but she was starting to think that was only because it had been so long. Now her body, her hormones, were awake again, all alive with sensation around this stupidly handsome, endearingly awkward, human tree of a man.

 

“So, what are you doing after this?” He purred in her ear. Rey smiled, continuing to look ahead.

 

“Well obviously, I’m going to go and eat an ethically sourced, responsible, nutritionally balanced breakfast,” she replied, “Unless you can give me a better offer?”

 

Had he been smoother, he’d have made some kind of clever comment about offering her something else to get her lips around, but the way she was leaning back into him and the pressure below his pants had his brain running at half capacity.

 

“I’m sure I can come up with something,”

 

“Feels like _something_ already has...come up,”

 

He chuckled under his breath. This is how it should have been. Instead of butting heads, their snarky personalities fine tuned over years of MMO chat, they should have been engaging in banter, laughing, smiling. It was a welcome change.

 

“And that concludes our morning session,”

 

“Oh thank God, everything is spinning and my mouth tastes like pure…”

 

“Like pure what?” Amilyn questioned, an eyebrow raised. Poe stuttered.

 

“Uh, relaxation. Pure relaxation,” he said awkwardly, “Are you hungry? Who else is hungry? Boy I could sure go some scrambled tofu right about now…”

 

Slowly the group began to stand, shuffling towards the building.

 

“You know what Poe? You are a terrible liar,”

 

“I know, boss,” he sighed, “Rey, Ben, you guys coming to break-...where did they go?”

 

00000

 

The last time they’d been in the incense scented, softly lit room, they’d been sitting opposite each other with that damn feeling stick shedding glitter everywhere.

 

Rushing away like giggling, horny teenagers, it happened to be the first unoccupied space they could find. Stumbling inside, Ben barely had time to turn the latch on the door before she was on him, the doorknob pressing into the small of his back.

 

There was no time for slow, nothing sensual about their actions. She pulled him down to one of the mats on the floor, tugging at the waistband of his shorts as they devoured one another.

 

“We don’t have long,” he ground out, biting back a moan as her hand wrapped around his length.

 

“Better make it count then,” her back arched under him allowing easier removal of one leg of her yoga pants. Desperate and wanting, he wrapped an arm under her back pulling her close as his cock pushed past her folds, sinking into her heat.

 

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he groaned, his head dipping to her shoulder.

 

“Oh My God. Move, I need you to move,” she pleaded, her whole body tingling like a live wire that needed earthed.

 

His hips set a frantic pace, wildly thrusting, pushing her body against the barely there padding of the yoga mat. The discomfort of the floor was the last thing on her mind, clinging to him tightly, helplessly taking all he could give her.

 

He wasn’t going to last long, not with the way she’d been teasing him for the past hour and the way her perfect body gripped his cock, her cunt clenching around him in response.

 

“Come on Baby, I can feel you getting there. Come with me,” her hand snaked between them, slipping down her sweat covered skin to rub uncoordinated circles over her clit, the added sensation causing heat to built, pleasure washing over her body as he swallowed her moan with a deep kiss.

 

Her thighs trembled, one wrapped up and over his hip as she came, Ben following, emptying himself deep as his own body twitched before relaxing. Both breathing hard, he caught himself on his forearms, hovering above her.

 

“Okay, now...now we should go and get breakfast,” Rey laughed lightly, Ben helping her clean up like the damn gentleman he was.

 

They stood on Bambi-like legs, staggering towards the door with dreamy smiles, messy hair and a glow that certain didn’t come from yoga.

 

“AH!”

 

Opening the door, they were met on the other side by Ahsoka, the same knowing smile on her face. A hot flush crept over Rey’s cheeks as she grabbed Ben’s hand to walk past, but Ben only shrugged at the woman.

 

“Feeling stick worked,”


	13. Just A Perfect Sunday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t need to apologize…” he began but Rey brushed him off, awkwardly pushing herself up to move closer to him, the damp ground squelching under her knees.
> 
> “No, I do, because now I get it! You’re an asshole…”
> 
> “Thank you,”
> 
> “But you’re not an asshole. You’re just kinda shy and weird…”
> 
> “Again, thank you,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, thank you so much to everyone who is still reading and commenting. I know I've been very much MIA recently from the fandom as a whole for various different reasons that I won't bore you with but please know, your comments are (almost) literally the only thing that's keeping me writing these stories. If I didn't know people still wanted to read, I would honestly have just stopped.
> 
> Thank you <3

Only Ahsoka had seen them.

 

That was what Rey continued to tell herself as they walked down the hall, rapidly fixing twisted and wonky clothing as they did, righting messy hair and hoping there were no visible marks on their skin.

 

Not that it mattered. If the post-coital glow their skin radiated wasn’t enough, the goofy smiles and doe eyes were certainly going to give them away. Reluctantly, as they approached the entrance to the dining room, Rey let go of his hand.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked uncertainty.

 

“Nothing!” She assured him, “I just don’t think it looks very inconspicuous walking in holding hands,” The explanation was sound but it didn’t stop Ben’s hurt look.

 

“So you don’t want to tell people?”

 

“Ben, whatever we are started...yesterday. Do you really want to have that conversation with people here? Now?! In front of our boss, no less,”

 

He looked thoughtful for a moment, his face and shoulders relaxing.

 

“Alright, fair point,” he admitted, “Sorry, I know we already kinda mentioned it…” 

 

“Hey, it’s alright,” Rey smiled, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze, “I’m still working this out too. Come on, let’s get some food,”

 

“Or something that vaguely passes for food…”

 

Clearly, the advanced state of the group's hangover had slowed their progress to the dining room, a line of people still at the buffet while others were slumped over the natural wooden tables. Together, Rey and Ben wandered in casually, Rey heading towards the tables and Ben joining the queue behind Poe.

 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, reaching for a plate. Poe looked up at the man, resenting how fresh-faced Ben looked.

 

“Like death warmed up,” he grumbled, “I am never drinking again!”

 

“Now that just doesn’t sound true,”

 

“I am never drinking again soon,” Poe corrected himself, “Where did you guys go last night? I thought you were joining?” Ben shrugged, suddenly very interested in the warmed tray of lemon and pepper asparagus.

 

“Got tired. We just went to sleep,” he said flippantly. Poe narrowed his eyes with suspicion, the dark circles on his skin highlighted, “What?” Ben asked.

 

“Sleep? You guys went to sleep?” He questioned, “When we came back it was only something like eight...and you’re telling me you guys went to sleep?”

 

“We ate that McDonald's first. Wasn’t that awesome by the way? So much better than this crap…” he said, attempting to quickly divert the subject. The chef standing behind the breakfast buffet scowled, “Sorry…” Ben mumbled.

 

“You ate a McDonalds then went to sleep,” Poe pressed, “Nah, something else is going on…”

 

“No idea what you’re talking about. Oh, look, kale. I love kale…”

 

“Wait, wait, WAIT! What is that?” Poe demanded, his eyes honing in on a mark under Ben’s ear. Ben stiffened, his muscles growing tense. “Holy shit is that a hickey?!”

 

“No!”

 

“Purple bruise looking thing with teeth marks…”

 

“Shut up!” Ben hissed, “Keep your fucking voice down!”

 

Poe was grinning at him like a Cheshire cat, his hangover suddenly forgotten. Ben sighed, scowling at the irritating smaller man with the megawatt smile.

 

“Oh, my, Mr. Solo, and on a work retreat too!”

 

“It’s not what you think,”

 

“It’s exactly what I think,” Poe sniggered, “So, details please!”

 

“No…”

 

“You’re right, we should be sitting down for this!”

 

“No. Period. This isn’t a high school and I’m not feeding you with gossip!” Ben said firmly, taking his laden plate and walking past.

 

“It’s an office! So much worse than high school,” Poe pointed out, following Ben to the table where Rey was sitting next to Rose, the Vietnamese American girl resting her forehead on the table with Hux snoring next to her in the same position.

 

Poe grinned at her.

 

“Hi, Rey,”

 

“Hi...Poe. You look better,” Rey said slowly, suspiciously. Poe nodded.

 

“Oh, I am,” he said, “Have you ever just found something out and it’s made your whole day?”

 

“Poe…” Ben warned, his voice edged. Rey nodded tentatively.

 

“I guess,” she replied, “Are we feeling alright?”

 

“Better than alright. So how was tree climbing?” he winked. Realization dawned on Rey’s face.

 

“Ben! You told him?!”

 

“No! He guessed…”

 

“Poe!”

 

“What’s everyone being so loud about?” Rose complained, lifting her head slowly from the table.

 

“Ben and Rey hooked up,” Poe said happily.

 

“Oh my God! Really? How?!” Rose exclaimed, wincing from the sound of her own voice, “And how was it?”

 

“Yeah, how was it?” Poe repeated, Ben’s face growing warmer and warmer as they continued.

 

“Can we please stop asking about my sexual performance?”

 

“Can we please stop talking about it  _ completely _ !” Rey stressed, “Amilyn is right over there and this is still just a new thing…”

 

“So it's a thing?!” Rose said, her voice pitching oddly. Rey rolled her eyes.

 

“I...yes, fine, it’s a thing!” She said, “Now will you drop it?”

 

A hush fell over the table, the sound of cutlery scraping against plates the only noise between the small group.

 

“How big is it?”

 

“Rose!”

 

A hush fell over the table once more, Poe producing his phone, his fingers flying over the screen while he smiled to himself. It was a smile that Rey didn’t like one bit.

 

“What are you up to now?” she asked testily. Poe shrugged, spearing some vegetables onto his fork.

 

“Nothing,” he said innocently. Moments later, Rey felt her own phone vibrate.

 

_ <Finn>  BEN SOLO?!? _

 

00000

 

“Hiking? Why did it have to be hiking?!” Rose wailed. 

 

The group were standing in the lobby of the lodge, all suites and booted for a day of walking through to the bright fall landscapes. Not that any of them were prepared for it. Most still looked like they were ready for nothing more than a strong coffee and an afternoon nap.

 

“Look on the bright side, all that lovely fresh air will flash the rest of the alcohol out of your system,” Rey smiled, “It’ll be good for you!”

 

“Easy for you to say,” Gwen huffed, “You didn’t drink your body weight in red wine. Had I known this was today’s plan, I’d have stopped after the first bottle…”

 

“Alright everyone, listen up!” A young man called from the front of the group, “My name is Robert Toulouse, but you can call me R-Tou! I’m going to be your hiking guide for today. It’s cool outside but the sun is out so you’re going to get real hot, real fast which means I want everyone to have water bottles on them at all times. The trails are fairly easy and well signposted so if you lose your way, it’ll be easy to get back. Any danger, not that we expect any, please blow the whistles we’ve provided in your hiking pack,”

 

“There’s something else we’d rather blow,” Rose whispered to Rey, the girls both giggling quietly.

 

“Now I want everyone to partner up. This is a bonding exercise, so find yourself a hiking buddy!”

 

Knowing that Rose wouldn’t be offended since she was already making her way to Hux, Rey slid up alongside Ben.

 

“Wanna be my buddy?” She asked playfully. Ben seemed thoughtful.

 

“I dunno, looked like Mitaka was going to ask me…” he said, Rey pinching his arm, “Ow! Yes, I’ll be your buddy!”

 

“Good,” she smiled. 

 

Once the group had been successfully paired off, they began to follow R-Tou out of the building and towards the trails. 

 

“We’ll be meeting back here at the lodge at three to do a roll call before the farewell dinner,” he instructed. The groups nodded their understanding, setting off in their chosen directions.

 

They walked silently, the crunching of leaves under their shoes joining the ambiance of nature until Rey looked around her. Satisfied that they were finally alone, she grabbed his hand.

 

“What have you missed the most this weekend?” She asked.

 

“Easy, playing games,” Ben replied, “It’s such a part of my daily routine. Not doing it feels like I’ve had my right hand cut off,”

 

“But what about burgers? Or tacos? Oh, oh, nachos!” She enthused.

 

“You are definitely food motivated aren’t you?” He chuckled, Rey blushing prettily.

 

“I like to eat, yes,” she mumbled, “but I have a point!”

 

“You do,” he agreed, “Pizza. I’ve missed real New York pizza,”

 

“Excellent choice! Now, what haven’t you missed?”

 

“No no, you need to answer your own question too,” he said, helping her pick her feet over some rockier terrain. Rey was silent with thought for a moment.

 

“Other than food? I guess I’d have to say gaming too, but...it’s weird,”

 

“What is?”

 

“Well, the main thing I was going to miss about not gaming was not talking to you...and now you’re here,” 

 

Ben smiled bashfully, looking to his feet as they walked.

 

“Who’d have thought you’d turn out to be a gaming nerd,” he teased gently, only to be met by an offended stare.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Well, come on, don’t you remember your first day? Being dragged around the office by Rose while she spoke, at volume, about the party you were going to have?”

 

00000

 

_ He was grumbling under his breath as he marched towards the copy machine. Between his Mother calling early that morning to remind him about coming to Friday night dinner, his subway being delayed and his latest design just not working, Ben was ready to call it all a day. It wasn’t even 10 am yet. _

 

_ His irritation with his Mother especially wasn’t so much that she’d called to remind him about dinner, that was something he’d come to expect, but it was the added comment about bringing ‘someone special’, as if he had a girlfriend packed into his back pocket he could just bring out for special occasions. _

 

_ “Everyone, we have a new arrival!” _

 

_ Rose Tico was shouting again. Of course, she was. Ben was convinced the woman had no other volumes except loud and very fucking loud.  _

 

_ Curious as to what she was bellowing about this time, Ben ignored the copier, looking towards the engineer's side of the office. Standing next to her was a girl he’d never seen before. _

 

_ “This is Rey Jackson, she’s going to be joining our engineering team!” Rose announced happily, “Make her feel welcome,” _

 

_ The girl, Rey, waved awkwardly at the group of engineers who greeted her, following Rose around the office while she made more personal introductions. _

 

_ He couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her hair had been pulled back into three buns at the back of her head, giving him a clear view of her bright features. Hazel eyes, shining with warmth and a wide smile that lit up her face as she spoke to people.  _

 

_ It was only when he tried to swallow, Ben realized that his mouth had turned very dry, and he was sure that he hadn’t blinked since laying eyes on the new girl. _

 

_ “Oh, and this is Ben,” Rose said, somewhat less enthusiastically than her previous introductions, “He’s part of the architects,”  _

 

_ He fought the scowl pulling on his face muscles. Something about her tone really rubbed him the wrong way, so dismissive and flippant. _

 

_ “Nice to meet you, I’m Rey,” she said, extending her hand. He dumbly stares at her fingers, jumping when he realized she was expecting a handshake. _

 

_ “Ben, hi,” he replied. The handshake was awkward, Rose tapping her foot impatiently. Thinking of what to say to this beautiful girl wasn’t being made any easier by Rose’s presence. _

 

_ “Anyway, let me show you to your desk. We’ll grab an early lunch and talk about where we’re going tonight! Engineers party the hardest,” Rose winked, looping her arm around Rey’s to pull her away, “See ya, Solo!” _

 

_ Ben sighed once they were successfully out of earshot, Rose’s loud, excited chatter still reaching him. Great. Another party pal for Rose in the office. A beautiful, smart girl that he’d never be able to connect with. _

 

_ The copier beeped at him. _

 

_ “You might be the only person I can talk to here…” _

 

00000

 

“Are you kidding me? You meet me once, hear Rose talk about a night out and just assume I was a party girl?” Rey exclaimed, her voice echoing around the trees, dropping his hand to place her own on her hips.

 

“It wasn’t  _ just  _ that!” he defended, “How many times did you stumble into the office late with the panda eyes clutching that extra large black coffee?”

 

“Because I was up all night playing games!” 

 

“I didn’t know that…”

 

“Because you made assumptions about me which were so not true and you’d have known that if you’d tried to get to know me,” she snapped, stomping past him on the dirt path.

 

“Rey, come on…we’re going round in circles, didn’t we already talk this out?” he said, following her. Rey continued to walk ahead, the sun still fracturing through the trees.

 

“We spoke about the online issues, I didn’t know that’s what you thought of me  _ straight away _ !” 

 

Ben grumbled, watching her continue to storm ahead down the path. How could one harmless comment light a fuse? She disappeared over the horizon of the hill, dipping below his line of sight.

 

“Rey, this is stupid!” Ben called after her, heading to follow when the sound of her sudden scream reached his ear. Powering forward, the top of the hill resulted in a sharp left turn, the right leading to a grassy slope, slick with damp and mud. Having sprinted towards her scream, Ben had no chance to stop without the ground shifting below his feet.

 

“Fuck!”

 

The moisture soaked through his clothes immediately as he gracelessly slid down the hill, landing in a heap next to Rey at the bottom. The poor girl looked shell shocked, trying to wipe the mud from her clothes but only causing the smearing to be so much worse.

 

“Are you alright?” Ben wheezed. He was at a loss of where to begin sorting themselves, but he assumed asking Rey if she was injured from her fall was a good place to begin.

 

“Yeah,” she nodded with a groan, “I think I’m good. You?”

 

“I’ll survive,” he grunted. Nearby frogs were croaking. He felt like he’d just been put through a washing machine and there was a stone sticking into his butt cheek. None of it mattered. What mattered to him was preventing an argument before it happened.

 

Honesty had done them well so far.

 

“You really want to know what I thought of you when I saw you for the first time? I thought, wow. This girl is really fucking beautiful and, she must be smart to land this job, and she is completely out of my league,” 

 

Rey sat in silence, the frogs and sound of running water joining the rustling of the leaves.

 

“And then as time went on and I saw more of you. Not the Rey that turned up late and looked bored in meetings, I saw the Rey that always bought someone a cupcake on their birthday, the Rey that left those heart-shaped post-it notes on the fridge in the break room. I watched you laugh with your friends and smile at your phone and you have no idea how desperately I wanted that to be me...because I’ve never been the guy,”

 

That was it. Sitting at the bottom of a mud-soaked hill, dead leaves on his clothes and twigs in his hair, he had told her the last of his truths. It was a strange feeling, being both empty and elated at the same time. Finally free.

 

“I’m sorry,” Rey said quietly. The surprise was evident on his mucky face, the dried mud tightening on his cheeks.

 

“What?”

 

“I said I’m sorry,” she repeated sadly, “When I started when we met...I thought…”

 

“What? What did you think?”

 

“I thought you looked kinda sad,” she admitted, “I thought you looked sad and I didn’t really make an effort with you,”

 

“You don’t need to apologize…” he began but Rey brushed him off, awkwardly pushing herself up to move closer to him, the damp ground squelching under her knees.

 

“No, I do, because now I get it! You’re an asshole…”

 

“Thank you,”

 

“But you’re  _ not _ an asshole. You’re just kinda shy and weird…”

 

“Again, thank you,”

 

“So if I’d taken the time to try and get to know you instead of just brushing you off then maybe, I don’t know, maybe this would have happened earlier,”

 

The frogs had fallen silent, sitting as a strange audience to the display in front of them. Ben looked thoughtful.

 

“Coulda, shoulda, woulda,” he shrugged, smiling. Rey blinked at him in astonishment.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Coulda, shoulda, woulda,” he repeated, “It’s something my Dad likes to say. Sweetheart, we can sit here all day going around about who thought what, and what we  _ could _ have done, but that’s not going to get us anywhere,” he said gently, taking her mud covered hand, “But that’s all in the past. I’d rather focus on the future,” Rey beamed at him, her white teeth sparkling against the grime on her face.

 

“I’d like that,” she agreed.

 

“Good, come on,” Ben said, standing and helping her to her feet, “We’ve got half day left of this retreat before we need to head back to the city and I’d like to spend most of it with you naked,”

 

“An afternoon alone with the feeling stick? I’m game,” Rey teased, giggling to herself at the look of unadulterated horror on Ben’s face.

 

“Please tell me you’ve not named my penis ‘the feeling stick’?!”


	14. All Good Things

They were quiet as they packed.

 

After hiking back to the lodge, covered in mud, pond scum and lord knows what else, once again startling the poor receptionist on duty, they’d retired to their room to wash. Rey had happily dragged Ben into the shower with her, their afternoon spent the same way the majority of the weekend had been.

 

But now they were quiet, folding their clothes in contemplation, Ben more so than Rey.

 

“Do you think I can steal these?” She asked, breaking the silence. Ben looked up from his case to see her holding the complimentary flip flops they’d been given.

 

“They were individually wrapped so I think it’s a safe bet they assume they’ll be taken,” he replied lightly, continuing to fold his clothes. Rey nodded thoughtfully.

 

“What about this?” She grabbed the large fluffy bathrobe.

 

“Uh, no, that they’ll charge you for...or likely the company. Then the company will charge you,”

 

“What’s wrong?” She asked suddenly. Ben stopped packing.

 

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong,” he shrugged, getting over his momentary pause.

 

“You’ve been quiet since we started packing and not like ‘Ben quiet’ like...upset quiet,”

 

“I didn’t know that was a thing…”

 

“Well, it is,” she smiled, “Come on, talk to me,”

 

Ben shifted uncomfortably on his heels, rocking slightly, his eyes cast to the bed.

 

“It’s stupid,”

 

“Probably,”

 

“But...this has been the best weekend. I mean that, mudslides and vegan food aside, but we're leaving now. We’re going back home and back to real life,”

 

“So?”

 

“So are things going to be as, I dunno, easy? What about work? What about your friends?”

 

“What about them?” Rey said, leaving her own case to cross the room, “Ben, we’ve got a lot of thing off our chests the past few days. Work is just work, it’s not like we’re animals who can’t act like professionals in the office,”

 

“That’s debatable,” he countered, thinking back to the many screaming arguments that had taken place. Rey ignored his comment.

 

“And my friends? They just want me to be happy and I’m happy with you. Come on, you’re being a pessimist,”

 

“That’s kind of my MO, sweetheart,” he relented with a lopsided smile. Rey looped her arms around his neck, hanging off his body.

 

“It’s still just you and me when we get home. Nothing is changing, okay?” She said, pulling him to her for a sweet kiss, “Besides, everyone in the office will know by now anyway, so there’s no point in hiding it!”

 

“Great,” he drawled sarcastically, “Just what I wanted, my whole private life being played out for an audience,”

 

“Better give them a show then,” she winked, pecking him on the cheek then left to finish packing. Her back was to him as she ignored his advice, trying to stuff the bathrobe into the last remaining space of her weekend bag.

 

She was right. What was the point in dwelling on the things that could go wrong? As if that had ever done him any good. All excessive worrying had ever given him was a perpetual headache and what was close to a stomach ulcer.

 

Lightening up wasn’t something he was practiced in, but for Rey, he was going to give it his best shot.

 

As quietly as a man his size could, he moved behind her, pulling her back against his chest and wrapping his long arms around her body.

 

“You know, you’re right. It might not be so bad around the office,” He crooned to her ear, Rey gasping lightly as his lips made contact with her neck, pressing featherlight kisses along her pulse.

 

“Oh yeah?” She replied, fighting to keep her voice even as one arm held her tightly around the waist while the other teased at the waistband of her leggings.

 

“Yeah. I mean, technically, I’m your supervisor…”

 

“For like 2 more days before I move into the field…”

 

“Which means, there’s going to be plenty of reasons for you to come and see me in my office,” he purred, his hand dipping past her panties, finding her rapidly moistening center. It was a good thing he had such a tight grip on her body, her legs almost buckling when he slowly began to move circles around her clit.

 

“And who knows how long those meetings will take,” he continued, teeth nipping at the shell of her ear.

 

“Oh fuck, Ben!”

 

She fell forward, her hands bracing against the mattress of the bed as he pushed two fingers past her entrance, both groaning with satisfaction. He was already solid, the feel of her soaked for him already diverting any blood he had directly to his cock.

 

“I could have you just like this, bent over my desk, completely at my mercy. God, I love how wet you get for me, baby,”

 

His other hand joined, one pumping her slowly while the other took up playing with the sensitive bundle of nerves, swollen and desperate. His hips ground against hers in time with his hands and she could feel just how ready he was for her.

 

“Please...Ben, please…”

 

“What do you want? Use your words sweetheart,” he teased, knowing exactly what she was asking for. Rey growled under her breath, grinding her ass back against him. If there was something she’d realized about Ben Solo, it was that he was a fast learner and over the course of one filthy weekend, a floodgate had been opened.

 

Still, if anyone else knew the depraved things she’d got him to say to her in private, she was certain he’d spontaneously combust.

 

“You. I want you,” she groaned with difficulty, her muscles clenching around his fingers, desperate for more than the torturous pace he was putting her through. Behind, she felt him shift, one of his hands leaving her to pull down her leggings in one swift motion, his own jeans following to pool around his ankles.

 

He draped himself over her back, his lips finding the back of her neck as he ground his cock through her damp folds, the friction driving her body into a frenzy, forcing her legs further apart.

 

“You have me,” he soothed, the head of him lining with her entrance, pushing in with an agonizing slowness that she’d quickly grown to crave.

Hands around her hips, his grip so tight she was certain there would be marks, he concentrated all his energy on each snap of his hips that followed the long, slow drag, teasing and torturing until he was almost fully withdrawn only to thrust forward with such ruthless aggression she fell against the bed.

 

Ass high in the air, held there by the man behind her, working her raw until she was practically screaming into the sheets. Whoever was staying next door, if they were unsure if the rumors were true, they certainly were going to know by the end of the trip.

 

Everything about her was perfect for him. The way her body responded to his touch, her muscles rippling with motion. The moans of pleasure that echoed off the walls from her pink, parted lips. He felt a surge of pride knowing that he was the cause, each encounter only strengthening his resolve that being shy and unsure around her wasn’t necessary.

 

“I can feel you’re close, baby,” he grunted, picking up his pace. It was another point of pride that in the short time they’d been together, he was already learning the tells of her body, “Tell me what you need,”

 

“Harder,” she growled, pushing back and meeting every one of his thrusts until she couldn’t, his movements so violent that all she could do was hold onto the sheets and take it, her moans muffled by her face pressing into the mattress.

 

Her orgasm hit like a freight train, her whole body shaking and quivering with sensation until she could barely stand as he fucked her relentlessly through. One final thrust and he came, his thighs and ass clenching with effort, his spend dribbling down her skin.

 

Carefully walking them back to his own bed, he pulled her to the mattress with him, both breathing hard and glowing.

 

“We’re going to be late for the farewell dinner,” Rey laughed quietly. Ben shrugged, kissing whatever expanse of skin on her he could reach.

 

“Fuck the farewell dinner,”

 

00000

 

Despite the hopes and silent prayers, the farewell dinner had not been anything other than vegan. Poe had especially mentioned that perhaps they’d be rewarded for good behavior.

 

“What good behavior?! We brought in McDonald’s every night, raided the 7/11 for booze and more than a few of us hooked up. We were worse than a frat house!” Rey scoffed, taking her seat next to Ben at the dinner table, a number of her fellow employees joining her in sniggering.

 

“Well, can you imagine how this weekend would have gone  _ without _ my contraband? Personally, I feel I should be rewarded for being a big damn hero!”

 

“Uh huh. Eat your kale, Poe,”

 

The man looked dejectedly down at his plate, wishing his vegetable tart was a steak. 

 

At the top of the room, cutlery sounded off a glass, bringing the place to a hush as Ahsoka stood to speak.

 

“Welcome everyone to your final meal of the retreat. Tomorrow morning the bus will be taking you all back to your homes, but I want you to take away the lessons you’ve learned here,”

 

“That the 7/11 totally overcharges for beer,” Poe huffed under his breath, earning a swift kick under the table from Rose to his shin.

 

“This retreat was not just about team building, it was to open your minds as well. Look around you, these people are more than just your co-workers. You spend so many hours a week with each other, sharing the same burdens. Whatever differences you have, I’m sure by now you’ve found more in common than you thought,”

 

Under the table, Rey could feel Ben’s leg against hers, his hand coming to rest on her knee. Subtly she moved closer to him, resisting the urge to rest her head against his shoulder. For all everyone in the office definitely knew, they didn’t need to make a show of it at dinner.

 

“Enjoy each other, you spend so much time together it might as well not be painful!” 

 

A smattering of polite laughter passed over the room, but there was truth to her words. The weekend had worked in a sense. People who had previously been at each other’s throat were laughing together, sharing smiles over their experience. Poe leaned across the table to Gwen.

 

“Hey, bestie!”

 

“No,”

 

“Oh come on, you heard Ahsoka! We’re family,” he grinned.

 

“I didn’t once hear her use the word family,” Gwen said, poking at the food on her plate, “But...I suppose you’re not so bad,” she smiled.

 

“Did everyone hear that?! Gwen loves me!”

 

“Don’t push it, Dameon,” she warned but there was no real threat in her tone. 

 

“Do you think this will last?” Rey asked Ben quietly, enjoying the warmth of having him so close. Ben shrugged, taking in the table around them.

 

“Who knows, people bond over adversity and this place will make a good story for a long time! Should buy us at least six months before Gwen decides she wants to hang up Dameron by his nads…”

 

“Gross!” Rey laughed, “It’s a shame I won’t be there to see most of it,”

 

“I’ll miss you,” he said honestly, “Who will I have to argue with now?” 

 

“I can totally fill that role if you need me to!” Poe interrupted smugly. Ben rolled his eyes.

 

“I know for a fact that you could but I’ll decline, thanks,” he said dryly. Poe smirked.

 

“Yeah, I guess we wouldn’t have the same sexual tension. By the way, please remember the walls of your office are just as thin as this retreat. High five man!”

 

Ben choked on his mineral water.

 

00000

 

Monday had come far too quickly for Ben’s liking. 

 

It had been inevitable but as their alarm sounded around the room, both phones buzzing obnoxiously against the nightstand, Ben groaned. She was naked in his arms, tucked tightly against his chest, the soft duvet wrapping them both in the most comfortable blanket burrito he’d ever experienced.

 

Moving was not something he was keen to do.

 

Nevertheless, they did, Ben complaining the whole time as they walked hand in hand towards the bus for their journey back to New York. 

 

Standing in front of the bus, the collective group looked far less refreshed than when they arrived, something Ben assumed was the opposite of the goal of the retreat, but then again, a full weekend of junk food and partying would do that to you. Amilyn stood in front of the group, an oddly proud smile on her face.

 

“You know, before we get on the bus I just want to say, I’m really proud of all of you. It wasn’t exactly the perfect trip but to see how close you’ve all become…”

 

“Some more than others,” Poe sniggered, his eyes flicking towards both Ben and Rey, Rose and Hux.

 

“You all embraced every part of this in the end. You behaved yourselves and I couldn’t be happier! So let’s get back on the bus, get home and keep all this good feeling going!”

 

The group shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact and training to maintain as much innocence as possible. Ben rolled his eyes, knowing that Amilyn wasn’t as oblivious as she was acting.

 

Slowly, the adults filed onto the bus. Ben had intended to follow Rey straight to the back, but he took the chance to sit next to Amilyn at the front.

 

“Wasn’t that a nice trip?” She smiled. 

 

“You know everything, don’t you?” Ben smirked, the bus doors closing and the engine roaring to life.

 

“What could you be referring to? Rose and Armitage restarting their fling from the office Christmas party? The secret McDonalds runs? The nightly parties complete with cheap wine? Yourself and Rey?”

 

Ben cleared his throat awkwardly.

 

“I mean...that about covers it,” 

 

“Of course I know!” She said smugly, “I couldn’t take these animals to a regular retreat! They’d never have mingled and mixed. Nothing creates bonds like adversity...even if that adversity is vegan food and a dry weekend!”

 

“You might just be an evil genius!” Ben laughed.

 

“Emphasis on the genius part, please! Look at them, smiling together, actually talking to one another without throwing insults!” She exclaimed, “This was a team building weekend. I built a team,”

 

“I’ll never doubt you again boss,”

 

“Speaking of teams, you and Rey…”

 

“I know it’s against company policy…” Ben began, Amilyn barking a sudden laugh that made the other travelers peak in their direction.

 

“Oh please, I don’t care about that! As if you two are the only pair in the office anyway and I don’t just mean Armitage and Rose dancing around each other. Wexley and Kaydel have been a casual thing for months. They think they’re so subtle too...”

 

“I promise it won’t interfere with work,”

 

“I know it won’t,” she smiled, “Now, why don’t you head to the back. I’d like to get some shut-eye while Dameron is being quiet for once,”

 

Ben stood, carefully picking his way to the back where Rey had saved him a seat.

 

“What was that about?” She asked, snuggling into his side as he sat down. 

 

“I believe we’ve all just been played,” he mused, “Nothing gets past our boss,”

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Rey smiled, her head on his shoulder, “So I was thinking, tonight when we get back, what are you doing?”

 

“I don’t have any plans,” 

 

“You know, we never did get that date...”

 

Ben looked thoughtful, wrapping his arm around her shoulders to pull her closer, the bus trundling down the road.

 

“That is true,” he answered, “But I had a different kind of night in mind,”

 

“Like what?” She asked. Already other inhabitants of the bus had begun to doze off.

 

“Don’t you miss gaming?”

 

She did. While being social with him through the game had been a large part of playing, the satisfaction and achievement aspect of watching her character grow and evolve was something she was proud of. It felt silly, anyone who wasn’t a regular gamer would think she was mad, but she was anxious that by taking the time away from the computer, it was hurting her progress.

 

Still, if anyone would understand, it was him.

 

“I  _ have  _ missed getting in those daily battlegrounds,” she confessed, “I’m really worried it’s going to hurt our average. We haven’t played together in so long!” Ben nodded in agreement.

 

“Alright then, it’s settled. You, me, battlegrounds, takeout? I’ve got a killer gaming laptop, I could bring it to your place…”

 

Ignoring the fact they were surrounded by co-workers, that their boss was sitting only a few feet away, Rey grabbed him by the collar of his tee, pulling his lips to hers happily. His initial shock soon melted away, giving in to her kiss and choosing to pay no mind to the wolf whistling of the vaguely interested people around them.

 

Her smile was radiant when they finally parted.

 

“It’s a date,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are still rolling I'm afraid. Updating whenever I can.
> 
> PD3 x


	15. You and Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all that are still reading for your patience! I'm still smacked in the middle of my final exams and they have no sign of letting up until the start of June, but I have been determined to get this one at least finished.
> 
> There WILL be a little epilogue for this story, it's not quite the end just yet.
> 
> As ever, thank you for the comments and messages, I appreciate all of them!

Her apartment was in much the same state she’d left it in.

 

That is to say, the place was a mess.

 

Clothes she’d considered packing were strewn all over, abandoned to the floor once she decided that she, in fact, did not need a backless playsuit or sequined cocktail dress for a work retreat. 

 

Piles of empty Monster cans remained up around her computer monitor in elaborate structures. An indication that her claim to Finn of, ‘I can quit whenever I want!’ was potentially an exaggeration of her will power.

 

Thank God they’d changed the night of their date.

 

By the time the bus had returned to New York, Ben had multiple missed calls from his mother and both had agreed that if they wanted peace for an evening, perhaps taking the Monday night to return to real life wasn’t the worst idea. 

 

But in the grand spirit of procrastination, she’d spent her Monday night online instead and her apartment remained untouched.

 

_ <Kyl0R3n> As much as I love playing with you (pun intended) didn’t you say you had something important to do? _

 

_ <Lightbeam> It’s just cleaning my apartment. It won’t take me long. Didn’t YOU have things to do? _

 

_ <Kyl0R3n> Touché. Another round? _

 

It was a date of sorts, but a familiar one, like slipping back into an old, comfortable sweater. They weren’t in the same room but talking and playing together felt natural, easing her slight anxiety that it was all going to come crashing down.

 

Walking into the office the next day, Rey had to admit she’d expected the worst. Everyone knew about her and Ben, what's more, everyone knew that their first official date since hooking up at the work retreat was that evening, but if they were the topic of conversation, nothing reached her ears. Not that she’d been there long. It had been a flying visit to finalize her itinerary before beginning her new duties out of the office and closer to the building sites.

 

“Do you have to go?” Rose whined, hanging over the edge of her cubicle, “Who am I going to talk to now?”

 

“I’m not always going to be gone and Poe is right over there,” Rey pointed out, their friend obnoxiously waving from his own desk, hearing them clear as a bell.

 

“Yes, and I love Poe but he is just as bad as you now. All glued to his phone with those stupid heart eyes!” She grumbled.

 

“And what about you? Hux still playing hard to get?” Rey asked, grabbing her tablet to put into her bag. Rose sniggered.

 

“Hardly,” she scoffed, “The boy is whipped like cream but that doesn’t mean I want to hang around him all day. Gotta leave him wanting more, you know?” 

 

“I guess,” Rey mused, at a loss of how to respond to her friend's statement, “Anyway, you will be fine. Besides, now I’m doing this you’re going to have more than enough work to get through!”

 

“Yes, and thank you for that,” Rose drawled. Rey smiled sweetly.

 

“Don’t just thank me, thank Ben. He put me forward for this job,”

 

“Oh, another office boy toy that’s whipped,” Rose smirked, “Honestly, the men in this place have got no chill!”

 

Rose sauntered back to her desk, leaving Rey to set off for her out of office duties, but there was one more stop she wanted to make before she left.

 

“Come in,” 

 

His voice floated through his office door, still holding the vaguely irritated tone it always had when someone had interrupted whatever he was doing. She let herself in, his face softening when he realized who was there.

 

Had he always looked at her that way? Had she been so blinded by her own stubbornness and irritation that she never saw the way his eyes warmed when she walked into a room?

 

Ben was sitting at his drawing table, the electronic tablet glowing as he twirled the stylus between his fingers, pausing in his design to smile at her.

 

“I thought you’d have been away by now,”

 

“I’m just leaving,” she smiled, walking further into the room, “I wanted to stop by first. What are you working on?”

 

“Oh, this? Just a few designs for that hotel in Brooklyn, nothing special,” he shrugged, “Are, uh, we still on for tonight?” he asked shyly, the stylus still awkwardly twisting in his fidgeting fingers.

 

“Yes! Definitely,” she insisted quickly, “That is...if you still want to?”

 

“I do!” he blurted, “I really...really do,” 

 

“Good. That’s good,”

 

The smile he wore was shy, reminding her more of the awkward, unsure man she’d met so many years ago than the guy she’d spent a whole weekend in bed with. In a strange way, to her, it was reassuring. He was still Ben, only with the unpleasant, defensive parts of his introversion removed.

 

Boldly she approached the table, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him towards her. Her lips collided with his, soundly kissing away any doubt he might have had. When they surfaced, she smiled at him.

 

“Nothing has changed. It’s still you and me,”

 

“You and me,” he repeated, the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders dissipating, “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart,”

 

00000

 

Bolstered by her visit, the rest of her day had been a whirlwind of handshakes and travel, hardhats and high visibility vests, but it had been exactly what she had been missing in her role. It was revitalizing, reminding her what she had loved about structural engineering in the first place.

 

However, her high was soon brought back to earth upon entering her apartment and the realization that Ben would be arriving within a few hours and really, she had no idea what to do. She’d been standing at a loss in the middle of her living room when her buzzer rang. Immediately she let them in.

 

“Alright, your fairy godmother is here!” Finn announced, “Now, what’s this about you having a date?!”

 

“I have a date…”

 

“With a person?”

 

“Yes, with a person!” Rey snapped testily. Finn raised a single eyebrow.

 

“A  _ real _ person?” He asked, “This isn’t another online deal is it?”

 

“You’re going to want to sit down for this,” Rey said, guiding him to the sofa and gently pushing him to a sit, “Remember all that stuff with Kylo?”

 

“Oh no…”

 

“Well, remember how you told me that there was no way Kylo would turn out to be Ben and I should just get over it?”

 

“Are you getting over it? Finally?!” Finn cried, “Oh, Peanut, it’s about damn time…”

 

“Let me finish! While I was on the retreat...me and Ben, we kinda hooked up,” Finn’s mouth hung agape, his eyes huge.

 

“No way! Pictures or it didn’t happen!” Rey reached for her phone, pulling up the picture of Ben sleeping, albeit slightly blurred from her aborted attempt.

 

“Holy. Shit,” Finn gasped, “Baby, I am so proud of you!”

 

“That’s not all,”

 

“There’s more?! Is it about his penis? Tell me about his penis…”

 

“No!” Rey snapped, “He’s Kylo,” she finished. Finn sat staring at her where she stood in front of him, his face blank.

 

“He’s...wait, what?”

 

“Ben  _ is _ Kylo,” Rey said patiently, “He literally has been the person I’ve been talking to for months,” 

 

The silence stretched out as Finn continued to stare at her, perfectly still, as if he were a computer that was crashing in slow motion.

 

“You’re telling me...the guy that you’ve been playing online games with is the same guy that you’ve been working with for years?” he said carefully, “Seriously?”

 

“Seriously,”

 

“Fuck off! That’s like something out of a fanfiction!” he cried. Rey smirked, tilting her head to analyze his face.

 

“Read a lot of fanfiction do you?”

 

“I dabble but my online habits are not what’s being discussed here!” he said defensively, “This is...insane!”

 

“Well, as insane as it is, it’s happened and we hooked up and I really like him but  _ look _ at this place!” she wailed, her voice panicked, “He’s going to be here in a few hours and I’m not ready. The place is a mess, I don’t know what to wear or what we’re going to do...I’ve not had a  _ date  _ date in so long…”

 

“Whoa, alright, calm down peanut!” Finn said, jumping from the sofa to stop her pacing, “I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You are going to go into the shower right now, I am going to take care of this place and find you something to wear,”

 

“Thank you,” she sighed. Finn nodded.

 

“Now, tell me what you have planned. That way I can find you something appropriate to wear,”

 

“We’re going to play games,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Finn sighed, hanging his head.

 

“Of course you are…”

 

00000

 

When she emerged from the shower, her apartment was unrecognizable in the best way. The surfaces were clear, the explosion of clothes gone. Candles were dotted around the living room, creating a pleasant vanilla scent and a golden glow that was warm and inviting.

 

“Oh my God,” Rey gasped, “You are a miracle worker!”

 

“Think this is the first time I’ve had to get an apartment ready in record time?!” He said smugly, “Not my first rodeo! Oh, but, don’t look in the hall closet…”

 

“Why?”

 

“Where else would I put all the mess?!”

 

Rey rolled her eyes but was in no position to complain. It’s not like she was planning on doing any different.

 

“Now, follow me,” he said gesturing towards her bedroom. Laid out on the bed was a simple outfit that she hadn’t expected.

 

“Yoga pants?”

 

“Uh, yes! This isn’t a going out date. It’s a staying in date and baby, that’s a whole different ball game! You don’t want to wear your day clothes but you don’t want to wear your slob clothes…”

 

“I don’t have slob clothes!” She lied, knowing full well an old tee from middle school, covered in holes and fraying threads was her go-to outfit when she was alone. 

 

“Lies. Anyway, athleisure wear is here to save the day! So, we’ve got a nice pair of black yoga pants that make your ass look peachy as hell and this cute little tank top,” he declared proudly. 

 

“What’s with the bra?” She said, nodding towards the bright pink underwear. Finn picked it up, holding it against himself.

 

“This is your secret weapon!” He grinned, “You want that little flash of a pink bra strap. Not red. Pink is like, maybe we’ll fuck. It’s that little tease…”

 

“But we’ve already had sex. A lot,”

 

“That was on a weekend away! Now you’re home, it’s like starting again. So, the tease...it’s all in the bra. Gotta be a nice bright color too. No dude ever got a hard-on from a nude bra strap…”

 

“I’ll remember that,” she said dryly, “Any other pearls of wisdom?”

 

Before he could reply, the buzzer to her apartment sounded from the living room, Finn shooting her a wide grin that meant nothing more than trouble.

 

“Oh, would you look at that…”

 

“Shit, I am not ready!” she moaned, shoving Finn out of her bedroom while she grabbed for the clothes, “Buzz him up and for the love of all that his holy,  _ be nice _ !” she hissed.

 

“Me?” Finn mocked, “Peanut, I am  _ always _ nice!”

 

“I don’t have time to list all the ways that’s just not true!” 

 

Finn found himself shoved out of the bedroom, the door slamming shut as she frantically changed. He pressed the button to the door, allowing Ben to enter the building. Minutes later there was a knock at the door.

 

Finn wished he’d had his camera phone at the ready for the look on Ben’s face when he opened the door.

 

“Oh! Sorry, I must have the wrong apartment…” Ben stammered. Finn’s smile widened, bright and white.

 

“Nope! This is definitely the right place,” he confirmed, pulling Ben inside to examine him in person, “My little peanut did  _ good _ . Lord, I am so proud,” Finn gushed, Ben feeling his cheeks heat up under the stranger's scrutiny.

 

“Uh, is Rey here…”

 

“She is, she’ll be out in a minute. I’m Finn, by the way. I’m Rey’s gay life partner,” He winked. A dawning of realization fell over Ben’s face.

 

“Oh, you’re the guy Poe Dameron has been seeing?” he asked. Finn’s eyes grew wild with a strange excitement that made Ben want to step back.

 

“Poe talked about me? What did he say? I need details man!” Finn had all but grabbed Ben’s collar when Rey emerged from her bedroom, rushing towards the men to pry her friend away.

 

“Ben, hi! Don’t pay attention to Finn, he was just leaving,” she smiled tightly, grabbing Finn by the back of his shirt to escort him to the door, “Weren’t you, Finn?”

 

“But he said Poe talked about me and I need the tea!” Finn whined, reluctantly walked towards the door.

 

“We’ll talk about it later!” Rey snapped, “Thank you for your help,”

 

“Fine but you owe me gossip for this!” he grumbled, “Have great sex!”

 

The door slammed behind him, his final words ringing between them as they stood awkwardly between her living room and her front hallway.

 

“Hi,”

 

“Hi,”

 

“Are...those for me?” she asked shyly, nodding towards the bouquet of brightly colored daisies in his hand. 

 

“Oh, yeah!” he jumped, “These are for you!” he handed her the flowers, Rey leaning into them to inhale the sweet scent.

 

“Thank you, they’re beautiful,” she smiled. 

 

The silence stretched between them, not entirely comfortable as both tried to think of what to say now they were finally alone again. She supposed they could talk games. It would be easy to fire up the PC and slip into familiar territory, but really the only thing she could focus on was how his black tee stretched across the wall of chest beneath it or how his dark jeans hugged his thighs.

 

Her imagination didn’t have to work hard. She’d already extensively explored the real thing.

 

“So, uh, how about I give you the tour?” she said quickly clearing her throat, walking past to lead him into the living room. His aftershave smelled like wood sage and sea salt, doing nothing for her composure.

 

“As you can see, this is the living room. Nothing special about it except my gaming rig in the corner,” she said, pointing to the desk where her pride and joy of a PC resided. Ben whistled with appreciation.

 

“That is a nice setup!” he awed, “I expected you to have the triple screen going though,”

 

“It’s a space issue more than anything,” she shrugged, “But...soon. I’ll get it going soon,”

 

They continued their awkward walk through her not at all large apartment, Rey leaving the flowers in a vase on her kitchen counter.

 

“And this is the bedroom. Just the one. See, I told you it’s nothing special…”

 

“Rey…”

 

“I was thinking about moving soon though....

 

“Rey…”

 

“But who has the time to house hun-”

 

“Rey!” He barked, cutting off her rambling, “This is weird, isn’t it?”

 

“Oh my God, I’m so glad you said something!” she sighed, “This is so weird and I don’t know why! I’ve been looking forward to this, I...I really wanted to see you, but now you’re here and I don’t know what to do with myself! There’s so much tension...so mu-”

 

For the second time, he cut her off. Rushing forward, she found herself scooped into his arms, one around her waist holding her firmly against his body while the other cradled the back of her head, messing up her painstakingly dried hair.

 

This was good, she thought. If they were kissing, then she wasn’t talking and if she wasn’t talking, she wasn’t going to say anything that could send him screaming from her apartment. Immediately the stiffness melted from her shoulders, her body relaxing against him but the tension remained, cracking in the air like the pressure of an oncoming storm.

 

In his arms she was danced towards the bed, the back of her knees hitting the mattress, toppling them both, Ben landing on her and barely catching his own weight. Not that she minded. Any contact she had was perfect and as far as her raging hormones were concerned they were both wearing decidedly too many clothes.

 

Mercifully, Ben had the same thoughts. 

 

“Stay right there. Don’t you dare move!” he said roughly, pushing himself back to kick off his boots, tugging at his belt as a man possessed. Rey pushed herself up onto her elbows, watching him undress with bated breath until he was only in his jeans, the fly unbuttoned.

 

“I said don’t move!” he repeated, reaching to grab hold of her yoga pants. The stretchy fabric peeled from her legs in one pull, leaving her bare on the edge of the bed.

 

Kneeling before her, she blissfully found there was no time to overthink anything, her legs thrown over his shoulders as he buried his face in her heat, his tongue licking a scalding path through her folds to swirl around her pulsing clit.

 

She gasped at the contact, the crown of her head tipping back towards the mattress as he worshiped her with his mouth, alternating between dizzying patterns with his tongue and sucking between his full lips.

 

Any praise she wanted to give him was reduced to breathless moans and incoherent mumbles, his arms anchoring her to the bed as she writhed, pressure building in her with every talented flick. A loud moan pitched and desperate left her and she could have sworn she felt him smile.

 

“That’s it, baby, let go,” he purred, his fingers massaging where they held her down by her inner thighs. He could feel the pressure from her heels digging into his back, her legs quaking around his head, muffling the sounds of her orgasm. Her body spent on the bed, oversensitive and twitching from his attention.

 

Her breathing heavy, when she opened her eyes he was wiping his mouth, smiling at her wickedly.

 

“We’re not done yet,”

 

The timbre of his voice, the sudden confidence in his tone made her clench with anticipation, her mouth dry when he stripped off his jeans and boxers. His erection freed, he stalked her onto the bed, crawling up her body and planting kisses on any expanse of skin he reached.

 

Stripping off her top, he raised an amused eyebrow at the bright pink bra.

 

“Pink?”

 

“Um, yeah...it was Finn’s suggestion,” Rey muttered, too wound up to really give more of an explanation while his teeth grazed her ribs.

 

“I like it,” he grinned, pulling the pink straps from her shoulders, “but I’d like it better on the floor,”

 

Her response died, the feeling of his tongue teasing her nipple stealing her ability to articulate more than a delighted gasp. If he didn’t give her what her body was crying out for soon, she was going to scream.

 

From the way he was pawing at her curves, his hips grinding against her, at least she knew he was as desperate for release as she was. Grabbing behind his neck, she wrapped her legs around his waist to roll his back to the bed, straddling his body and kissing him passionately, taking the situation into her own hands.

 

He was practically shaking with barely held restraint as she lined herself with him, both groaning as she sank down onto his cock. 

 

The grip on her hips was bruising, his fingers digging into her skin with ecstasy as she moved, rolling her hips and reveling in the feel of him helpless below her. His head fell back, thudding against the headboard.

 

“Fuck...fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, pushing her with his hands to increase the motion, “I’m not going to last baby, I need you with me,”

 

The way she was grinding against him, pushing him so deep that it bordered on the line between immense pleasure and pain, caused a molten heat to burn deep in her core. Every nerve ending she possessed felt like it was alive with electricity, her skin tingling. 

 

Regaining his senses, feeling her struggling to maintain pace, he held her tightly, thrusting upwards to meet her, the sound of hips meeting joining the debauched moans. He brought his thumb to her, flicking in haphazard patterns over her throbbing clit. It was all too much, the added layer of sensation throwing her over the edge as she gushed around him, the feel of her body tightening milking him for all he was worth.

Exhausted, she slumped against his chest, his spend warm and sticky as it dripped down her inner thigh. Briefly, she was aware that he was peppering her head with lazy kisses, his own heartbeat still slowing as he came down from his high.

 

“So, is it still weird?” he asked, Rey, cuddling herself into the space he’d made under his chin. She shook her head.

 

“Nope,” she sighed happily, “That’s one way to break the tension,” Above her head, she heard him chuckle, his hand absently stroking her bare back.

 

“What do you want to do now?” he asked. Rey was thoughtful for a moment.

 

“I think we should clean up, order some food and have that date,” she said decisively. 

 

“I’ve got the laptop with me, want to play some twos?” Rey smiled, squeezing him closer.

 

“Me and you against the world? Wouldn’t have it any other way,”


	16. Epilogue

**Two years later**

 

“I’m home,”

 

It was a needless announcement considering he probably heard the door but never the less, she called out to their shared apartment, kicking her shoes off at the front door to pad barefoot towards the living room.

 

Ben was where she’d expected him to be, in front of the glowing monitors of his own gaming rig against one wall of the living room, her own set up right next to him. 

 

“Something smells amazing. Did you get Chinese food?” She smiled, dropping her bag and coat over the sofa before wandering to where he sat, bending down to kiss him casually.

 

“I did, but I haven’t eaten it yet. I didn’t want to start without you,” he said, “How was your day?”

 

“Good. I think progress is finally being made with the NYU refurb. Sorry, I’m late, I really did try to get out of that meeting,”

 

“Couldn’t be helped. Besides, I only got this day off because I was owed a favor,” he shrugged, “Fire up your kit and we’ll get that food onto plates,”

 

She nodded in agreement, allowing him to stand and head to the kitchen while she pressed the power button on her PC, scowling at the boxes of her possessions still tucked under her desk. It had been six months since she’d moved into his apartment and the only thing she’d really unpacked had been her clothes and her gaming equipment.

 

Really, who could blame her for those priorities?

 

Shuffling to their shared bedroom to change out of her work clothes, Rey shouted through to the kitchen.

 

“Are we all set for this weekend?” she shouted, hopping around the room to pull on a pair of jersey shorts. 

 

“Yeah, the hotel is all confirmed,” he shouted back, “So, what exactly do we do at a gay wedding?”

 

“The same thing you do at a straight wedding,” she replied, pulling on a stretchy tee and sighing in comfort having finally been freed from the tyranny of her office dress code. “We turn up, we watch the ceremony, we drink a lot of wine and dance,”

 

She returned to the living room, meeting Ben as he left the kitchen.

 

“But it’s Poe and Finn,” he said as if that explained everything, “Won’t there be...more?”

 

“Finn is the extra one, not Poe,”

 

“Debatable…”

 

“It will be awesome,” She smiled, “Not to mention, we’ll get to actually have a weekend away together, won’t that be fun?” 

 

“It will,” he agreed, “Come on, log on, we’ve got to finish this quest before battlegrounds start,”

 

“Aww, I thought we were going to eat first?” she whined, sitting down at the desk next to his with a pout. Ben snorted impatiently.

 

“Just, please? I’ve been working on something that I think you’re going to like,” 

 

“If you’ve been grinding fishing again all day…” she sniggered, logging into the game and pressing a few keys to move her character around. Ben was already logged on, bouncing his character around hers.

 

“I was  _ not  _ grinding fishing. I’ve maxed that skill out, thank you!” Ben said, “Follow me, I found this great quest spot,”

 

“Did they update or something? I haven’t seen anything in the patch notes,” She said, the couple sitting side by side at their extended desks. While Rey was focused more on the screen in front of her, Ben continued to glance in her direction.

 

“What am I looking for here?” she asked, squinting at the screen, her mount flying above the landscape. He’d directed their characters to a clearing in a crystal forest near the entrance to the most recent raid dungeon entrance.

 

“Look down,” he told her. Rey directly the mouse to angle the camera downward.

 

There, written in the blue grass of the digital forest in various dropped items, was a message, surrounded by other players they knew all emoting and dancing at her for her attention.

 

**_Rey, will you marry me?_ **

 

She read it once. Twice. Three times, trying to process the question embedded on the screen. Her name was there, it was clearly meant for her. Turning to gain clarity, she found he was no longer in his chair but kneeling in front of her seat, a tiny velvet box in his shaking hands. Slowly she spun her chair to him.

 

“Oh my God…”

 

“Rey, I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I love you. You are perfect to me and our life is amazing and I know it’s not a lot, but I promise, anything you want, I will do everything I can to gi- umph!”

 

Tears in her eyes blurring him in front of her, his heartfelt declaration was ground to a halt by Rey throwing herself from her seat, the chair spinning in her absence, her body knocking him to the floor leaving them both in an unceremonious heap.

 

She kissed him ardently, her weight pinning him to the ground until the need for air caused them to part.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“Yes!” She gasped, still panting for breath with excitement, glowing with happiness, “I’ll marry you,”

 

“Good cause now I get to give you this!” He declared, plucking the delicate ring from the box, pushing the white gold and diamond band onto her third finger, “And, uh...can we get up off the floor?”

 

She blushed deeply, scrambling off his body and helping him to his feet. He dusted down his clothes, bending over to kiss her sweetly.

 

“So, what do we do now?” he asked, “We can go out and celebrate? Anything you want,”

 

Sheepishly, Rey glanced at their computers.

 

“I kinda really had my heart set on those battlegrounds...does that make me a bad fiance?” Ben smiled, shaking his head.

 

“Nope. That makes you  _ my _ fiance,” he beamed proudly, “I love you, Rey,”

 

“I love you, Ben,” she grinned giddily, “Come on, let’s get warmed up! I have a new enchantment on that weapon I’d love to try!”

 

With a final kiss, they separated, each taking their seats in front of their computers.

 

_ <Kyl0R3n> /emote love <3 _

__   
_   
_ __ <Lightbeam> /emote blush <3 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all xx


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